Standing on the Moon - RE-VAMPED
by KNeu21
Summary: REVAMPED VERSION! Edited and BETTER! Sequel to Beneath the Twilight-Set during New Moon: Leandra, having stayed with the Cullens for the passed several months, gets uprooted once again when her mother steps up. Rated 'M' to be safe! Enjoy!
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Okay guys. Here goes Standing on the Moon- Re-vamped. Bear with me on this one, as I've been thinking about changing specific events in this one as much as I had in the last.  
-DiSCLAIMER!: Nothing you see related to The Twilight Saga, it's characters, or its events belongs to me. Only Leandra and her family belong to me. It's a coincidence. I swear.**

**Chapter One**

It's an indescribable feeling, turning another year older when the last year of your life was so hard. It was silly to think it, but the last year of my life felt, to me, like it was out to get me. Turning the page, leaving that behind was an odd, sort of disorienting feeling.

Moving forward no matter how much I just wanted to stay where I was for a moment longer, to prepare myself for whatever might come next. I couldn't do that, though. Time moved on whether I was ready for it to or not, and it'd drag me with it. Sometimes I wished time would just stop. Pause long enough for me to get some sort of grip on myself before continuing on. Wait for me to be ready, before taking me onward.

It seemed like just yesterday, I was turning seven. Or eight. Before I could turn around, two or three years had passed, and though my living situation was _so_ much better than before, I wasn't any more ready to get older than I had been back then. I was getting older, but I wasn't ready to.

It wasn't like I didn't ever want to get older. I just wanted to breathe for a second. Maybe it was everything I'd lost in my younger years. Maybe I just wanted to try again, to have the childhood everyone else got before I was too old to.

Sitting upright in my bed, I watched the rain trailing slowly down the glass of the window.

I hated my birthday. July 14th, the day I turned ten. I was told that I had survived more in my ten years than most people did in thirty. I didn't like being told that, because it didn't feel like that to me. I felt lucky to be alive, it was true, but I didn't feel like other people's problems weren't as severe as mine were. To play it down like that felt like a really mean thing to do.

Because I did have my share of problems. I wasn't normal. I wasn't like the other kids.

How much my life could change in less than a year was dizzying to think about. Especially since my last birthday. My ninth birthday was spent in agony. It rained then too, and the sound of the rain hitting the glass had been oddly soothing to me. It was a pleasant replacement for the words Jack growled to me. The almost loud tapping against the glass and roof sometimes managed to drown out how I felt. Like it was trying to comfort me, only couldn't reach me.

What he told me still echoed in my mind. It was painful, but it was involuntary to remember them. All he would tell me still hurt me, still managed to scare me. He told me about how much I'd managed to grow since my eighth birthday. How surprised he was that I'd made it to see my ninth birthday, and how maybe, he'd change that before my tenth. How he craved my life like the next breath he took. How I was lucky just to be breathing anymore. How he had no problems killing me. Only keeping me around for entertainment.

Sniffling, I wiped tears from my cheeks as I remembered how close he came to doing just that.

I was fine now, but that wasn't the case a few months ago. Technically, I'd died twice before they could bring me back. Apparently, a gunshot wound did a lot more damage to a small kid, than to an adult.

According to Carlisle, I'd lost about three pints of the eight pints of my blood, and had gone into something called hypovolemic shock. It happens when someone loses too much blood too quickly, and the heart can't properly send the blood that's left where it needs to go. Like it's confused.

Which was incredibly dangerous for anyone, more so for someone my size, and made the entire situation very serious. It happened very quickly, too quickly to catch or stop. Meaning, if I hadn't of been given the blood when I was, or if the bloodloss hadn't been slowed the way Carlisle slowed it when he did, I would have died. A few seconds later, and I wouldn't have made it.

It still hurt to think about, but I couldn't help it.

I'd always been a very timid little thing. Having learned to be that way thanks to the way Jack had treated me, but what he'd done that day had solidified that. I was just fine around my family, but without them, I was the opposite of okay.

Around strangers, I refused to speak much. Even around those I knew, it was difficult to make myself speak. Around anyone else but my family, I was distrusting and extremely timid. Borderline mean. Always expecting something to go wrong. I was jumpy, and shaky.

It was hard for me to concentrate in school, which reflected in my grades. I wasn't learning the way I should have been. I tried hard, but it wasn't something I could control. I wasn't stupid, but I wasn't learning the things they tried to teach me. At least, not in school.

Before the school year ended, Esme had started going over schoolwork with me at home, and I picked it up just fine with her. I knew it was a problem, because I also knew that I wouldn't be with them forever.

I still avoided thinking about that.

It was true. I did have my share of problems, and just because Jack was supposedly gone now didn't change me or how I was.

Shaking my head a little, I opened my eyes again as a handful of more tears fell from my eyes, realizing that a quiet knock at the door had shaken me from my thoughts. My mood had steadily dropped the entire week, the closer it came to Friday. The closer it came to my birthday. Emmett did all he could to fix that, but nothing worked. I hated my birthday, and it'd take more than just one going right to fix that.

I glanced over as Carlisle stepped into the room, taking in my tired eyes and insecure position. Curled upright in the center of the bed, my knees beneath my chin. I sniffled, looking up at him as he made his way over to me. He sat on the side of the bed and sighed.

After the close call a few months back, Carlisle and I had grown closer. I went to him for absolutely everything. He saw I was struggling. I wasn't dealing well with my brush with death, and he understood how hard it was for me. He knew.

Carlisle knew me better than anyone else on the planet. Sometimes it was like he knew my moods better than Jasper did. Or even I did. He saw my mood swings, or sleepless nights coming when Alice didn't. He knew when I was getting overwhelmed, and he knew when I was okay. He knew when everything was just becoming too much, he knew when I wanted to be alone, and he knew when I needed company. He knew when it was best to avoid certain subjects, and he knew when it was alright.

It puzzled me how he knew, but I never asked. I didn't mind. It was nice not having to explain that I just wanted to punch something at any particular moment, or curl into a tiny ball and cry. He already knew.

"Do I have to have a party today?" I asked quietly, pleading with my eyes.

"I know you don't want to." Carlisle said quietly, setting a small wrapped gift to the side, "But I think it will get your mind off of things."

"I hate my birthday." I mumbled, resting my chin back on my knees, "I wish I could just forget it."

"I know." He replied gently, "But you know, it might be good to begin making some new birthday memories. Good ones to look back on, instead of the bad."

I couldn't argue with that one. He was right. He was always right. I sighed, scooting closer to him.

I never asked about Jack, I realized, or how long he'd been put away. I didn't want to know. All that mattered to me was that I was safe. I was protected, and he couldn't get to me. Not while I was with them, anyway.

I looked down, and climbed off the bed. I realized that the best way I could get through this day, was taking one step at a time. Just like any other day. Just the thought of anyone coming over made it hard to leave my room.

Carlisle followed, taking my hand and leading me from the room.

"I insisted that Alice keep it small." He told me as we headed up the hall, "I thought you could do without a large group today."

"Thank you." I murmured gratefully. We rounded the corner into the living room, and I looked around at the subtle decorations. Pink and white streamers along the wall, and a few tables. Pink and white balloons scattered around. I smiled a little as Alice came to stand beside me. It wasn't too over-the-top like I'd feared.

I just saw no reason to celebrate the fact that I hadn't died in the last year.

"What, no petting zoo?" I asked quietly. She smiled at me, seeming to appreciate my choice of attempted humor.

"Your father and his family will be here around noon." She told me, "We're not really expecting much of anyone else." I nodded, looking down.

I hadn't seen my dad since he went home with his family. I'd talked to him a few times on the phone, but I hadn't seen him. It had only been a few months ago, but I was still a little excited to see him. To show him I really was okay now. Physically, at least. I could just do without Lily or Rachel arriving as well.

I dressed before they showed up. My normal jeans-and-a-tshirt outfit. Alice tried to get me to wear a dress, but I told her I'd rather be trampled by horses than wear one of those. Realizing I was insecure enough, she stopped insisting.

I still hated them with a fiery, blazing passion, so it was a rare occasion to ever find me in one. Something about the bare legs thing bothered me. It made me uncomfortable, so I chose to wear jeans instead. I, at least, let her fix my hair. That, I could deal with. Dresses, however, no way.

He stepped in, and I couldn't help the smile. He looked to me, and the worry he'd obviously felt since we parted eased. I stepped over and hugged him. He laughed a little as he lifted me to hug me easier.

"Hi, dad." I greeted quietly.

"Hey, kiddo." He replied, "How are you feeling?"

"I told you." I mumbled, pulling back to look at him, "I'm fine now."

"I wasn't talking about physically, Leandra." He clarified, "Though I am relieved to hear that. I know you've been having a hard time." I turned, looking to Carlisle, "He didn't tell me, Leandra. I just know you."

"I'm fine." I sighed, letting myself drop to my feet. Giving Rachel a nervous glance.

"Shorty.." Emmett challenged. I sighed.

"Alright." I allowed, "When I said I'm fine, I meant I'll _be_ fine."

He sighed, but smiled a little. We stepped aside as Rachel and Lily stepped inside behind him, "Happy birthday, sweetheart." I cringed, hating the words Rachel told me.

Lily was still five, but growing quickly. I watched her as she looked around the living room curiously, being careful not to touch anything. I had no idea why I was so fascinated with her. Maybe it was jealousy. The fact that she'd gotten to grow up happily, without knowing how painful growing up could be. She's gotten to grow up without one beating, or without one threat against her life. How easy she had it, and she didn't even know it.

"Leandra." My dad called my attention again, and I looked to him, "You know, you _can_ talk to her." Embarrassed that I was caught looking at her, I clammed up. Shaking my head, I sat down with a blush.

"It's okay." Lily said, coming over and flopping down next to me, "You can ask me stuff. I don't care." She looked to me, waiting for a response. I didn't know what to say, so I stayed quiet, "Yoo-hoo?" I frowned, not appreciating her tone.

"Don't pressure her, sweetheart." Rachel said, "She's probably shy."

"She's a little more than that." Emmett explained quietly, "Come here, shorty." I instantly stood, and made my way to him. He embraced me, and I sighed gratefully, letting him pull me into his side.

My dad's eyes grew concerned then, looking to Carlisle.

"There are some lasting emotional effects from what happened." Carlisle explained, "We're trying to work her through it, and she has gotten better, but it's a slow process."

"What does that mean?" Lily asked, frowning, "Is she stupid?"

"Lily." Rachel scolded instantly, appalled.

That question pissed me off, surprisingly.

"No." I snapped, "I'm not stupid."

"You must be, if you forgot how to speak."

"I didn't forget how. I just didn't want to." I defended myself.

"Well, why not?" She asked, standing, "I'm shy too, but I try to talk to _you_."

"You wouldn't get it." I mumbled, turning back to Emmett.

My dad sighed, "That was highly uncalled for, Lily."

"What?" She asked, "I was curious."

"It was very rude." My dad told her, "Apologize."

"Why doesn't she want to live with us?" Lily asked instead, "I still don't get it."

"Lily, not here, please." Rachel sighed, shaking her head.

"Our house is just as good as this one." She continued, looking to me, "We must not be rich enough."

"Lilith Marie." Rachel scolded, harsher than the last one.

"You think I prefer it here because Carlisle is rich?" I demanded over at her, "Tell me you didn't just say that."

"Well, isn't it the reason?" She demanded back at me, narrowing her eyes, "We're not good enough to live with, because daddy doesn't make as much money."

"Shut up." I snapped at her, "You don't know what you're talking about."

"Well," My dad said, trying to ease the tension, "At least they're acting like sisters now."

I turned, "Keep that little brat away from me." Striding over to the chair across from the couch, I sat heavily. Carlisle to my left sighed.

"Why?" She barked from the couch, "Because you know I'm right?"

"No, because you're stupid. That has nothing to do with it, and saying stuff like that tend to piss a lot of people off."

"Leandra." Esme corrected me quietly, and I looked down.

"You don't have to get pissed off." Lily replied, "You're only pissed because I'm right."

"Goodness, Lily!" Rachel instantly scolded, clearly unhappy about the language she used. Lily looked up at her incredulously.

"Why does she get to say stuff like that?"

"Because I'm twice your age, brat." I replied, "And I don't. I got in trouble for saying it, too."

"Not as much as I did." She countered, narrowing her eyes, "That's not fair!"

"Oh, the injustice of it all." My dad sighed, frustrated. He lifted Lily up, sitting down and holding her on his lap. Lily pouted and looked away, crossing her arms over her chest, "Are you two finished?"

I sat back, slouching in the chair with a sigh. I'd won that argument.

"That wasn't very nice, shorty." Emmett chuckled from the side.

"Oh well." I said nonchalantly.

"She's only mean because she has no friends." Lily piped up again. She was quickly starting to remind me of Rachel, the girl I fought with the day I first met Carlisle.

"You shut up." I barked, sitting upright, "I swear, Lily-"

"You can't do anything." She sneered. I stood up, and she instantly cringed.

"That's what I thought." I growled, sitting back down.

"It's true, though. Otherwise, they'd be here instead of just us." She was focused on my dad's hand in her own, and I darted up again, racing across the room. Before I could get to her, Emmett lifted me, holding me back by lifting me off my feet, both of his arms around my stomach.

"Okay, you two." My dad groaned, "Lily, stop antagonizing her."

"What's that?" She asked in turn.

"Stop teasing her." He clarified, "And Leandra, calm down. She's five."

"That's no excuse." I grumbled, "I wasn't going around saying that shit when I was five." I grunted as Emmett shook me a little, correcting me, "That crap. Sorry."

"Lily, apologize to Leandra." Rachel sighed from the side, taking Lily from my dad.

"No." Lily grumbled, shaking her head.

"Lily-"

"No." She said, "It bugs me how she wants to stay here. Why won't she come home with us?"

"It's not your decision, you little bi-" I cut off with another grunt at another correcting shake from Emmett. Darn. He'd caught that one.

A knock at the door had Lily and I look to it curiously. Ceasing our arguing for the time being.

"Oh boy." Emmett muttered behind me, setting me on my feet. I straightened my shirt, huffing a little up at him. Carlisle crossed the room, opening the door, and who stepped in next took me off guard. Someone I hadn't seen in six months. Her eyes looked around, searching the room until they landed on me.

I froze, staring at her. At first, I didn't know what to do. I took a small, uncertain step back, suddenly feeling cornered.

"Gina." My dad seemed to be as unprepared as I was, "Well, this.. Certainly is a surprise." She finally looked away from me, looking to him now.

"I wasn't even sure I was going to come." She replied, "I'm sorry for just showing up."

"Not at all." Carlisle told her, looking to me. Her eyes followed his, along with everyone elses. I still wasn't doing much better. Still too shocked to think straight. She offered me a small smile, but I couldn't return it.

"Leandra." She laughed a little, "You've grown so much." I couldn't reply even if I wanted to. My silence seemed to only encourage her, however. She took a small step toward me, and I countered. Taking a step back.

That finally got me moving. I shook my head and turned. Leaving the room. This was _not_ expected, and definitely _not_ okay.

"Gina," I listened to Carlisle call, "Let me speak to her." I stormed up the hall, and into my room, slamming the door closed. Before it closed, I listened to Carlisle catch it, stepping in after me.

"Leandra, I know you're upset-"

"Upset?" I asked, spinning to look at him, "Why would I be upset?" Instantly, I corrected my tone. I wasn't mad at him. I looked down, "I didn't even want to have a stupid party." I sat down heavily on the side of my bed, "I just wanted to be left alone today. Doesn't anyone get that? I hate my birthday, and I hate my mom."

"Don't say that." He replied gently.

"It's true." I mumbled, looking down at my hands, "I can't stand her."

"She's your mother."

"Carlisle, just because she gave birth to me doesn't mean she's my mother. Why would she even be here? Better yet, why would she even think it's okay to be here?" I paused, taking a few breaths, "I didn't want to see her. Otherwise, I would have by now. She's not supposed to be here! She's supposed to be in Seattle. Away from me."

"Just breathe, Leandra." He told me, closing the door, "All we're asking is to just give her a chance."

"A chance?" I scoffed, "Why would I do that?"

"She's been doing so well in her treatment, Leandra." He said quietly, "She's trying so hard."

"I don't care." I mumbled, "She doesn't deserve a chance. I gave her nine and a half years of chances, and she messed up every single one of them." I lifted my old teddy bear to me, setting it in my lap and looking down at it as I ran my fingers through its fur, "She's the worst mom in the world."

"Now that, I don't believe." He said, "Leandra, people make mistakes. I'm, in no way, condoning her past habits, but sometimes people don't realize how badly their choices hurt others. And sometimes, they need to see for themselves the consequences of those choices before they realize that they need to change." I glanced up at him, "She cares about you. I know that for a fact."

I felt my lower lip tremble in emotion, so I bit it and looked back down.

"She never realized before, despite how often you told her, that her choices were hurting you." He sighed, crossing the room and sitting beside me, "Leandra, something you need to understand, is that this is only temporary. When she gets through her treatment, she's going to apply to get custody returned to her, and if the court decides she's fit, it'll be granted."

"I know." I mumbled, still keeping my eyes on the bear, "You've told me before."

"Knowing and understanding are two different matters." He murmured, "Do you understand what that means?" I was quiet, so he continued, "What that means is if she is granted custody of you, you'll be leaving here to live with her again. She'll be responsible for you again. And this time, there will be no taking you back, unless they decide to give you back to us, or she does what your father did, and relinquish her rights to you."

"I know." I sighed, "I get that part. Carlisle, I don't want to go back to her." I looked up again, "It's too late for her to start acting like she cares about me. I want to stay here. If I go back to her, I'll be right back where I started."

"No, you won't." He said, "The court will make sure that there is no chance of that happening again before making any decisions, and it's highly doubtful that she'll fall back into her old ways. Not with how badly she's hurting over this."

"I don't trust the court." I admitted, shaking my head, "I only trust you."

"I understand your hesitation. I do." He said quietly, standing with a sigh, "You aren't going anywhere tonight. That much I can promise you. All I'm asking of you is to try. Can you do that?" I sighed also, thinking. I petted the bear a bit more, "I know you don't understand why I'm asking this of you, and I know this isn't easy for you, but please. Just trust me." He held his hand out, and I looked to him before setting the bear to the side. Standing, I took his hand with a sigh, "Thank you."

We headed back out, and I watched her turn to me from where she stood talking with Esme. I met her gaze again, and my first impression was surprise. I was surprised that she was able to hold my gaze without looking away, or closing her eyes. It was strange to see her upright. Without a beer in her hand, or shuffling back to the couch to pass out again.

I had to admit, she really did look one hundred percent better. Her hair had grown out, longer than I remembered it being. It was somewhat done up, pulled from her face. My mother was really a pretty woman. She looked so much better than what I remembered of her. Make-up done, and a pretty white sweater on.

"Leandra." She said quietly, taking a few steps forward. I whimpered and turned, looking up to Carlisle. He returned my gaze, telling me that it was okay. Everything was fine for right then. He patted my shoulder and nudged me forward.

"Look at you." My mother laughed, sadness and tears in her eyes. Her voice was clearer than I remembered it. It wasn't weighed down by the alcohol. I took a step back as she went to hug me. I took another few steps back, taking Carlisle's hand again. That's what I usually did these days when I was faced with a stranger.

I felt everyone's eyes on me, waiting for my turn to speak. It wouldn't come. Not without a whole lot of effort.

"Leandra." She murmured gently, "It's okay, honey." I shook my head, knowing everyone was watching me. I didn't know this person. She looked mildly familiar, but I didn't know her.

"Gina, maybe you should give her a moment." Esme suggested quietly, "She's been through a lot."

"Of course." My mom said, nodding, "I'm sorry. It's just.. It feels like so long since I've seen her."

Wrong answer. That only served to piss me off further, and made me less inclined to go to her. I watched, holding onto Carlisle's hand as she introduced herself to the rest of the family. She'd never met them before, only Carlisle and Esme, and I could tell that they only saw the gentle, friendly part of her. I still saw her as a throw-pillow, so there was obvious distrust in my eyes.

Looking to my dad, I noticed he still seemed surprised as well. She turned to him, talking to him as if seven years hadn't passed.

"It's okay, shorty." I looked back at Emmett, "She seems really nice."

"It's an act." I whispered, looking to her again, "I know it." Having heard me speak, she turned, looking at me as well.

"Count your blessings, Gina." My dad told her, "She yelled at me when she first saw me again."

"I'm sure that's coming." She said, surprising me, "And she wouldn't be wrong." My dad sighed. It was weird to me. To see them in the same room again. Talking to each other. Without those two people, I wouldn't be standing there. That was just a strange thought to me.

"Come here, Leandra." He gestured me forward, and I hesitated at first. A small nudge from Carlisle had me move to him, though. Stepping purposefully around my mom, I made sure to stay out of arms reach of her.

"Leandra." Carlisle knew what I was doing, "Please. Just a little effort." I looked back at him as my dad gently took hold of my shoulder. The look in his eyes was slightly pleading. Nervous. I looked to Esme, and saw the same look. She offered me a smile, which didn't help in the slightest.

Okay. I'd put in effort. Now really wasn't the time to do this, but effort it would be. I looked up at my mom, meeting her eyes. She attempted to reach forward, to tuck my hair behind my ear, but I pulled back. Not approving of the touch.

"I want to know why." I demanded. She looked down, letting her hand drop, slowly sitting on the couch beside her.

"Leandra." She sighed, "I don't know if _now_ is-"

"Yes." I said, "Now is when it's going to happen. I want the truth. I'm old enough to know why you did what you did."

She was quiet for a moment, fiddling with her hands. She didn't seem to want to answer.

"Mom, do you know what I went through?" I asked quietly, "Waiting for you to notice?" Though my voice was quiet, it was filled with accusation. As were my eyes as she finally looked up, meeting them again.

"Honey, I'm sor-"

"Sorry isn't going to cut it." I barked, shaking my head, "It's not. I know, it's the best you can do right now, but.. It's so hard. It's hard to forgive you. That's what you showing up is asking me to do." Everyone else was quiet, waiting. Watching our interaction closely.

She was quiet, before she looked at me, "I can't undo what happened, and I know that. I'm just trying to get through this, the same as you. This is hard on me too, knowing the choices I made impacted you so deeply, hurt you for so long. And because of another choice, I didn't see it." I was quiet, my eyes narrowing ever-so-slightly, "Leandra, I can't undo what he did, but I can try to prove to you that I will never let you down again."

She paused, taking my hand in hers, "You haven't forgiven me yet, and that's okay. That's okay, Leandra. You've got to see for yourself that you can count on me to always be there." She paused again, "Okay? I love you, and only want what's best for you. If you're not ready to forgive, that's fine. I can't tell you what made me choose that path. I-I don't know, maybe I was just upset over the situation with your dad, wanted to replace him with someone quickly." That didn't answer my question.

"Did you ever see any signs?" I asked quietly. I needed to know.

She looked down, "In the beginning, Jack used to shout. I'd always correct him on it, try to get him to stop, and he would at first. It was just after he'd adopted you that he started escalating."

"That's a lie." I instantly growled, "You never corrected him."

"Not in front of you, I didn't." She countered, "You were just a baby, and had just gone through so much fighting. Between your dad and me. I didn't want to repeat that." I accepted that.

"Nothing else?" I demanded, "You didn't try anything else?"

"I tried, honey. I was young, stupid and scared. It always seemed to get worse if I stepped in. So eventually, I just stayed away. I wanted to leave him back then, but, again, I was scared. I had nowhere to go, no one to fall back on. A young mother with a young child only has so many places to go. No car, no job, relying fully on Jack, there was only so much I could do."

I grit my teeth, and looked down, "Why did you start drinking?" I wasn't even sure if I wanted to know these answers, but I couldn't stop myself from asking the questions.

"I was never one to really enjoy drinking before, considering my mother always drank. But it was an escape. A way to stay out of the way, hoping maybe he'd take it easy."

It took me a moment for that to register in my mind. Was she telling me that she "escaped" while I was stuck facing Jack and everything he had to dish out? She drank, with the purpose of ignoring me in mind? "Hoping" he'd take it easy?

"Uh-oh." Emmett murmured, "Shorty.." He tried to correct me before I lost my temper. Too fucking late.

"So you just.." At first, my voice was quiet. Carefully controlled. I paused, "Escaped while he could do whatever he wanted?" I could feel my pulse quickening in anger. She was quiet, which was enough answer for me, "You just left me to fend for myself? Did you even care at all that he was hurting me?" I knew I was about to cross the line, heading towards words I couldn't take back, but I needed to let them go, "You hid in your drinking, while I was faced with him? Are you kidding me?" My voice was raising, "I was just a kid! I don't know if you even really believe that, but do you get what I'm saying? I was a kid. You were the adult!"

She stood up, and I stepped back. She tried to hug me, but I fiercely yanked my arm from her hand, "The knives, the fists, the boots... The blood on the floor, the walls, my mattress, mom!" I shouted, "Did you see _any_ of it? Did you hear me cry, mom? I begged you. I begged you to see me, to care. I needed you so much, and I was disappointed _every_ time!" I couldn't stop talking now if I tried. My dad stepped forward, trying to take my hand, but I yanked it away just as harshly.

"The bruises, the burns, and the cuts, mom. That's all he gave to me." I paused, knowing I was about to hurt her more, "And all you gave me was a twelve pack of empty beer bottles every day, and your fucking back! I picked up those bottles, mom. I picked them up, because I didn't want to be hit with them!"

I stood there, waiting for her to say something. Anything. When she didn't, I just got angrier. I continued.

"You're going to blame everything that happened to me on you being young?" I asked, "No." I shook my head, "No, I don't buy that. That's a goddamn lie!" My voice broke with how upset I was. Accusation in every syllable, "I was nine years old, mom, when I managed to get away from that place. I could have died there, and you wouldn't have noticed! I was younger than you were, and braver than you could ever claim to be then. Do you know how scared I was? All the time. Now I know why it was so hard. I was being brave for the both of us."

I paused, my breathing accelerated, "You just can't admit to me that you fucked up! You messed up, mom, and I don't know if I'll ever be able to forgive you for dragging me down that road of razor blades you called a fucking life!"

"You don't deal with it, you don't deal with the consequences because, thank fucking god, you escaped! Well that's just fucking super, isn't it? You're just fine, while I deal with what you did. You abandoned me because you were too much of a coward to leave him." I paused, taking in another breath, "So thank you, mom. Thank you so much! There's no hope for me!" I was pissed. More pissed than I had been in a long time. My voice broke again with my emotion and my anger, adding an edge to them that seemed to hurt her more.

She didn't try to interrupt me, only staring down at her hands. Nobody tried to interrupt me. When she started to cry, I began to feel guilty, which only fueled the anger more.

"Don't you dare tell me this is hard on you because we both know that's a fucking lie! You think it's hard on you? Try living with what I live with every day. The memories, the thoughts, the unhappiness and depression that I _still_ fucking face because of your stupid fucking choices." I spun and stormed toward my room.

Before I could get too far, Esme caught me. Wrapping her arms around me, holding me as my sobs finally started. There were no words to describe the silence in the room that followed my outburst. Esme eventually lifted me, holding me securely as I cried, letting me get out my emotion.

"Wow." Lily finally mumbled, "Okay, I changed my mind."

"Lily." Rachel corrected her quietly.

"No." My mom murmured, sniffling as she stood and took a few steps toward me, "She was right. Everything she said, she had every right to say. I should have been there. I should have done everything I could to keep you from him. I won't make excuses, and I won't lie to you. All I can say, all I can tell you is that I'm sorry-"

"That's not good enough!" I screamed, turning quickly to face her, "That's not enough!"

"I know it's not." She said quickly, "I know you're hurt, and you will need your time, but I promise you, sweety-"

"Your promises don't mean anything to me."

"I'm trying, Leandra. I am." She tried again, "Just give me a chance-"

"You don't deserve one." I argued, "Why should I make the effort to trust you again when you never made the effort to give me a reason to? Huh? Why should I? It's not fair for you to ask me to give you a chance when you blew ten years of them."

"Leandra-"

"Don't you get it?" I sobbed, "I don't want you! It was clear to me a long time ago that you never wanted me, so why should you get me now?"

"Now that's not true." She said, shaking her head, "Leandra, I have no way to explain why I did what I did, but I have always loved you."

"Bull shit." I whispered, dropping down from Esme's arms, "You never loved me. You were never a mom. Moms don't let their daughters get thrown around. Beaten until they can't move. You don't love me."

"Leandra-"

"Stop it!" I interrupted her again, "I don't want you! You're nothing to me!"

"Leandra." Carlisle spoke beside me, but I ignored him. He wanted effort. This was my effort. I needed to get this out.

"You're nothing but a selfish bitch, always only out to save your own ass, and I would have been just fucking fine never seeing your face again." I could see the pain my words caused her, yet it only fueled me.

"Shorty." Emmett's voice was firmer, and even that didn't stop me.

"I hate you!" I shouted between clenched teeth, "I hate everything about you, and I don't give a shit whether you get better or not, because it's too late. It's too fucking late, mom!"

I turned, trying to step around Esme to get to my room. My mom, however, took my arm in her hand again, and turned me around, pulling me to her. Lifting me into a tight and secure hug.

I struggled as she wrapped her arms around me, but she wouldn't let go. Kicking and shoving, she held on tight. My teeth clenched in my fight.

"Leandra, please." She murmured, trying not to drop me.

"Gina, maybe-" Carlisle tried before, as a last resort, I pulled back just enough to slap her. She still didn't let go, so I thought of the next best thing. Leaning in, I bit her shoulder. She still tried to hold on, but eventually, the pain became too much, and she let me go with a quiet cry of pain.

I landed on my feet, falling to my butt. I was panting, partially from fear and partially from exertion. Trembling onto the floor as I looked up at her, watching as she rubbed the spot I'd bitten her.

"Leandra." My dad scolded quietly, shocked at my behavior.

That's all it took. I crawled backwards, and forced myself to my feet. Spinning and running from the room as fast as I could. Ignoring the shocked gasps, and my name called behind me. I closed the door firmly behind myself, and curled into a ball on the floor in front of it.

All these years, I'd made up excuses for her. I'd tried to ignore the truth. I told myself that her drinking wasn't her choice. She didn't _mean_ to ignore me. She didn't mean to ignore the fact that she'd married Satan, and I was stuck with him. Alone. Scared, and confused. Learning that it was entirely her choice hurt me. It broke my heart, and I was having a hard time dealing with it. Tears slowly trailed down my cheeks, and I found myself unable to stop them.

I didn't want to see her. I didn't want to make an effort. I didn't want to have to go with her. I didn't want to have to leave my family, just because she thought she was better. She _chose_ to ignore me and my cries, and now she wanted to take me away just to try to make up for it. I hated her. I hated my own mother, and nothing she would ever say to me would change that.

This was different than how disappointed I was in my dad. This was so much worse, because she was there. She had been there the entire time. Just in the next room, and she could have done something. She could have put a stop to it, but she chose not to.

A knock at the door behind me had me crawl forward, my sobs renewing.

"Leandra." It was Esme, "May I come in?"

"Just you." I sobbed, "I don't want to see her. I'm not sorry!" The door opened and she came in, closing the door behind herself. I quickly climbed to my feet and hugged her. Embracing me in return, she sighed softly. She waited, letting me calm down quite a bit before she spoke.

"I know you're upset, honey. You have every right to be."

"I hate her." I whimpered, "I hate her. I'm not upset. I just _hate_ her."

She didn't reply to that. Rubbing my back in a soothing motion as my breathing slowed to a more normal pace.

As far as I was concerned, I didn't care if I never saw my mom again. If I would have had my way, I would have stayed right there for the rest of my life.

**A/N: Woo. There you have it, kids. Chapter one. Chapter two will be on its way soon. As always, I hope you enjoyed, and I would love to read your response.  
Until next chapter. (:  
**


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter Two**

Apparently, what I shouted at her really hurt my mom's feelings. It took a lot of coaxing to get me out of my room, as upset as I was. The only way I agreed was if she agreed to keep her distance, if Esme stayed with me, and if I wasn't requested to make nice.

I wasn't ready to, and pushing me to would be the opposite of helpful. I didn't want her there, and I made sure everyone knew it. Where I stood was perfectly clear, and despite how I knew it was wrong and not at all what my family wanted of me, I couldn't help it.

By letting Jack hurt me, she hurt me. By hurting me, she made sure I wouldn't trust her again. Asking me to trust her now was just insane.

I made it perfectly clear that I would bite again if needed as I left the room with Esme. Giving fair warning.

"Carlisle." My dad leaned forward, "Aren't you concerned by her behavior?" I looked to him, surprised from my seat beside Esme, "I'm no child psychologist, but I know enough to know that she _shouldn't_ be doing that."

"Slightly." Carlisle nodded a little, "But she does still have a lot to learn. Her behavior is still impulsive at this point. Instinct for her."

"I mean, the yelling was one thing. That was understandable, and frankly, pretty well deserved, but.." My dad shook his head, "Someone her age running around biting people would be pretty concerning if anyone were to see her do that. Has she seen a psychologist?"

"I don't run around biting people." I mumbled, looking down, "Just when they don't let me go. I don't like people holding me when I don't want them to."

"The point is, Leandra, that you do it at all." My dad explained quietly, "That's something that should have been taught to you a long time ago."

"She's missed a lot of important milestones growing up." Carlisle told him before I could respond, "We're working with her, but it takes time to repair that."

"I understand that, but all I'm saying, is maybe it would be a good idea to bring in a professional. Someone who deals with cases like hers specifically."

"What?" I asked, "I don't need-"

"Your concern is justified, Chris. I assure you." Carlisle said, nodding, "But I trust we can handle it."

"I'm only worried about her behavior getting progressively worse as she grows up. You know, letting her get away with that, and all that. Feral behavior isn't something to treat lightly." He continued, "I've just never seen her do that. There was the playful biting last spring, but now I'm thinking maybe she should have been corrected on it then."

"She's learning." Emmett said, and I looked to him next, "Aren't you, shorty?" I nodded a little, looking back down.

"Is feral really the right word to use?" My mom asked, looking to my dad, "I don't think my daughter is _feral_."

"Well," Carlisle answered, sighing, "It isn't as severe as cases you're thinking of, I'm sure, but her behavior does hint at it being one of those cases. She has been somewhat socialized. Just not quite as much as I'd prefer. Her tendency to resort to physical violence to express unhappiness or discomfort concerns me. I know that's all she's been taught, but it's still concerning." My mom shook her head, obviously not liking what she was hearing, "Gina, something I don't think you realize, is there are longer lasting effects than just trust issues. The only parent she had teaching her from the time she was very young was Jack. She learned more than just survival instincts from him."

My mom looked down, not arguing or denying again.

"Despite our efforts, her instinct to defend herself is still borderline feral, often when the situation doesn't call for it." This was the first I was hearing of this, so I was listening closely, "She learned that violence gets results, and that is a very deeply ingrained trait to break her of. We will continue to work with her, however, and if it comes to the point where we've done all we can, a professional will be consulted." That worried me, "I'd just prefer to keep her from that. I know what I'm doing, Chris. You have no reason to worry."

"Of course." He seemed to be put at ease, given his smile, "I know you'd never steer her wrong."

My mom seemed more resistant to be eased, but she let it go. Giving me worried glances now and then.

It was hours later, and they all still sat talking. Mostly my mom and dad. There was one more tense moment between my mom and my dad, and that was when he confronted her about the way I'd been raised. Unable to help himself. They'd left the room for that, though. I looked down, hearing their heated whispers. They came back in after several minutes, seeming to have worked it out to a point. She didn't seem too upset, so he must not have laid into her like I had.

I'd opened my various gifts. A necklace from Carlisle and Esme, three new sweaters from Alice and Jasper, an art set from Emmett and Rosalie, and a white gold watch from Edward and Bella.

I hadn't had much chance to talk to Bella, as I'd only seen a few glimpses of her over the summer. She and Edward were off on their own a lot. Though I'd asked for nothing for my birthday, they still managed to know what I'd want.

The necklace was a white gold as well, but it was more delicate. On a seemingly fragile, but actually quite sturdy chain, was a small butterfly shaped pendant made of light pink and white diamonds, embellished in the white gold. I loved it instantly, smiling despite how I really didn't want to. Esme helped me put it on at my request.

The sweaters were smile inducing as well. I actually loved them. Only one was thick, meant as an over sweater. A pale purple color, and a few sizes too big for me as they knew I loved baggy clothes. The other two were fitting, but not too clingy. They were made of thick, but light material. A brown color, and a light pink color. I actually loved them as well. Thankful beyond words that they hadn't gotten me dresses instead.

The art set went without saying. Mostly made up of pencils, since I was always doodling on something. The watch did as well, though I'd probably never wear it. Too afraid of losing it. It was gorgeous, however.

My dad, however, brought me something that I hadn't been expecting. I tore it open, looking over the padded pink outer cover. Flipping it open, the first picture was an ultrasound picture, and looking at the date, I realized it was of me. I knew what this was. He'd brought me a photo album, filled with nothing but pictures of my mom, my dad, and myself when I was a baby.

"Wow." I murmured, fascinated instantly. I turned the page, and this picture was of me as well. Given the look of me, it was the first picture ever taken of me. Swaddled in a pastel pink blanket. My skin a brand-new pink color, probably minutes old.

"No way." Emmett chuckled, leaning over the back of the couch to get a look, "Aww, you're so cute."

"Your mom was a pretty good photographer. She loved taking pictures of anything." My dad explained, "Especially of you, or you and I together." I flipped through the pages slowly. I'd never seen these before. I was pretty cute, I had to admit. There were pictures of myself just after being born, laying swaddled in a soft pink blanket in my dad's arm. All the way up until I was a chubby little near three year old. Shoulder length auburn hair, and wide green eyes.

There were several of him and I at the park. After awhile, the pictures only included me. There was one of me, the sun bright on my dark auburn hair and on the grass behind me. The smile I had for him was one I never remembered giving again. I couldn't have been very old, as only a few baby teeth were visible. I paused at it, looking it over. Just the difference between that girl then, and me now was startling to witness. The happiness visible in her eyes, there was no mistaking that I had been loved.

There was one picture that caught my eye. The picture of my dad holding a baby me in his arms and both of us looking at a Christmas tree. My little hand was outstretched to the tree, as if wanting to grab the lights.

"I like this picture." I murmured, laying my finger over the picture and looking up at him.

He smiled a little at me, "That was Christmas Eve. You were.." He trailed off, thinking, "Seventeen months old."

"Thanks, dad." I murmured, looking back down at the picture, "I love this."

"You're welcome." He said, smiling a little, "I thought you'd want that."

My eyes roamed over what must have been the last of the ones he'd managed to take of me. One in particular. Two and a half year old me, standing there in a long purple t-shirt, my feet and legs bare. Looking up at him with a curious smile, my arms raised for him to lift me. I must have just woken up, because my hair was slightly a mess and I recognized my bedroom. No blood stains, or signs of violence. None whatsoever. The teddy bear that sat in my room now, sat on the bed in the picture, strewn near the wall, but perfectly fine. Slightly ruffled from being slept on, but a lot less flat. Soft morning light filtering in through the window behind me.

"That's the cutest picture I've seen of you yet, shorty." Emmett laughed a little, still looking over the pictures with me.

With a sinking heart, I realized that that was the way I looked when Jack first got a hold of me. God, I was just a baby. That thought alone almost brought tears to my eyes. The little girl in the picture had no idea what was coming. She didn't know what the future would hold for her. It hurt me to see this girl, to see me before everything went so wrong.

"What's wrong?" My dad asked, seeing my expression.

"She didn't know." I mumbled, looking up and meeting his eyes, "She had no idea what was coming. She doesn't know yet that none of it is her fault."

"Oh, honey." My dad sighed, "I'm sorry."

"It's okay." I mumbled, looking back down at the picture, "So much has changed."

Needless to say, my birthday was quite emotional. More so than usual, and for much different reasons.

My dad and his family were the ones that left first once the afternoon headed toward evening. He lifted me to give me a hug goodbye.

"Don't give her too hard of a time." He advised once I pulled back, "She really is trying hard."

"I don't-"

"I know you don't want to. I'm not telling you to trust her, or even give her a chance just yet. All I'm saying is just try to use the f-word a little less. Deal?"

"I'll try." I sighed, "No promises."

"Fair enough." He gave me a sad smile, "Happy birthday. I love you, kiddo." He hugged me again, and a short while later, he was gone.

My mom was last to leave after a short talk with Carlisle. I don't know what he said to her, but whatever it was, she seemed more determined when she left. She kneeled down, trying to meet my eyes from beside Esme.

"I won't stop trying, Leandra." She told me, "I won't give up. I love you too much to do that. You'll see when I get finished, and you come home with me, I'll be the best mom in the world." I held tighter to Esme's hand, biting back my retort. I _really_ didn't want to go with her. Every instinct in me told me not to. To stay where I was.

"I won't try to hug you." She said, "Not without your permission, but please know I'll always be waiting for it. I love you, baby. I always have." If she didn't leave soon, I was going to lose it again.

Thankfully, she did leave. As soon as the front door was closed, I sighed heavily. Spinning, I landed face down on the couch beside where Emmett sat. I groaned loudly, stressed beyond measure. Everyone was still in the room, watching me try to unwind.

"I hate my mom." I mumbled into the cushion.

"Don't say that, shorty." Emmett murmured, patting my leg, "She's your mom. You wouldn't be alive if it weren't for her."

"I almost wasn't because of her. Remember?" I sighed, rolling over onto my side and looking to him, "How can you just forgive her for what she did? How am I supposed to just forgive her for what she did?" For a moment, he seemed to not know how to answer.

"Shorty, let me ask you something." He said, "Have you ever done something wrong, and you felt horrible about it? Made a choice that caused someone to get hurt, or be disappointed?"

I looked down in thought. I pursed my lips a little, sighing again.

"I stole someone's lunch once." I admitted, "When I was seven."

"I don't know-"

"I blamed it on another classmate. And they believed me, so he got into trouble for it."

"Okay." He allowed, "And didn't you feel bad when he got into trouble?" I nodded a little, "Did you apologize to him for it?"

"Yeah."

"And did he forgive you for it?"

"No." I said truthfully, "He still hates me for it."

That seemed to surprise him, "Well. That didn't take the direction I wanted it to." He thought for a moment, "The point is, that.. Wouldn't you feel a whole lot better if he'd forgiven you?"

"I guess so." I admitted quietly.

"So would your mom." He said, giving me a small smile.

"What she did is a whole lot worse than stealing a lunch." I reminded him, rolling fully onto my back. Laying on my side was beginning to get uncomfortable. I made sure to keep my shoes off the couch, though.

"I agree." He said, "So imagine how much worse she must feel about doing what she did, than you do about stealing a lunch."

I blinked in surprise. I hadn't thought about it that way before. Esme gave him a smile as she left the room. I sighed, looking to my hands folded on my stomach.

"I still don't care." I finally mumbled, "I hope she suffers."

"Now that's not very nice." Emmett frowned, "That's not the shorty I know."

"Yes it is." I argued, "I just chose not to say it."

"Going to live with her won't be the end of the world." He told me gently, "We'll still be here."

"She won't protect me." I reasoned, shaking my head, "She won't try. Here, I know I'm safe. I know nothing will hurt me. There, anything can happen. I don't want to go with her."

"It's ultimately her choice, shorty." He reminded me, "I know it's hard. Believe me, I do. I didn't have the happiest childhood in the world, you know. It wasn't near as bad as yours, but it taught me to find the good in every day. To look for ways to make bad days better. To have fun, no matter the situation."

"I can't do that." I sighed, shaking my head again, "I used to try to do that, but it never worked. So I gave up."

"Quitter." He said, suddenly pulling me into his arms. Despite the gloom of the day, I giggled a little. I watched as Carlisle crossed the room, sitting on the other end of the couch. He usually only did that when there was something that was needing to be said to me.

"And you and I have to have a talk." Emmett spoke up, regaining my attention.

"About what?" I asked, reaching up and clearing my hair from my face.

"The biting, you little animal." He explained, "That needs to be addressed."

"I agree." Carlisle murmured from the side with a sigh.

"It's okay around us, because you can't hurt us. Biting hurts other little humans like you." Emmett told me, sitting me up, and tucking me into the small space between where he sat and the end of the couch. I was small enough that I fit, without being uncomfortable or squished.

"That's the point." I said, "It works."

"Just because it works, doesn't mean you should do it." He countered, "It's mean, and makes people think you're not as human as them."

"And that's new?" I asked, shrugging, "I've always been treated like an animal."

"So prove them wrong." He challenged, "What other people say doesn't define who you are."

"Sure it does." I countered, leaning heavily against him, "Because people are more likely to believe them, than just me."

"I hate to agree with you there." He replied, "But I won't lie." He paused for a moment, sighing.

I struggled out from my little spot, and stood, "I've never been able to bite anyone before." I told him, turning to face him, "Now that I know it works, I don't see what's so bad about it."

"Look, shorty." Emmett said, leaning forward and capturing my hands, "See it this way. Biting is just as bad as hitting."

"Not to me." I replied, shaking my head.

"It hurts just as much." Alice piped up, and I looked to her seated on Jasper's lap in the chair.

"It doesn't hurt me a bit." I joked a little. Hoping I could get out of what little trouble I was in.

"So how about this." Emmett regained my attention, "Every time you find yourself in a situation where you _want_ to bite someone, but don't, I'll give you five dollars."

"Bribery, Emmett?" We both looked over at Jasper, "She's ten."

"Hey, why not?" Emmett asked, "If it works, it works."

"I'll bet you thirty it doesn't." Jasper countered.

"You're on." Emmett's eyes narrowed.

"I get it, I get it." I sighed, pulling my hands from Emmett's, "Biting is bad. I couldn't help it, though." I turned, sitting back down between Emmett and Carlisle.

"She wasn't going to hurt you, Leandra." Jasper replied sadly.

"I didn't want her to hold me." I murmured, looking down at my hands, "She shouldn't be allowed to. She wouldn't put me down, so I bit her. Hitting her didn't work. It was the next best thing I could think of."

"If you would have bitten her any harder, you would have drawn blood." Jasper pointed out, and I cringed a little, "Which potentially could have been very bad." That got through to me.

I was quiet for a moment, "I'm sorry." I finally murmured.

"We're not mad at you, Leandra." Jasper assured, "We are very worried, however."

"Because my dad thinks I'm feral?" I asked quietly, looking back up.

"To a point." Jasper allowed, sighing.

"I don't even know what that means." I admitted, shaking my head.

"Cases like yours are hard to classify." Carlisle finally spoke, and I turned to look at him, "First, let me explain what a feral child is. Typically, feral children are the ones that have had so little interaction with others, they can't speak. They don't know how. They have absolutely no social skills. They haven't had any interaction with anyone for whatever reason. The ones that have been severely neglected, like in mass orphanages, or have been lost somewhere and have miraculously survived. It doesn't happen often, so it's pretty rare."

He paused, "Another case of a feral child, are those that have had to teach themselves. Their parents pay so little attention to them, refuse to teach them, that they must rely either on other children to teach them through observation, or they teach themselves through instinct. They know basic survival skills, because that's all they've known. They tend to fear strangers the way you do, and they tend to overreact to simple situations. Going to extremes to avoid or escape someone or something. Always expecting pain, or punishment for something that really doesn't require it." He paused, and I had to agree. That sounded a lot like me, "Typically, severely abused children show these characteristics. The ones that were raised in hostile environments, such as cases like yours or the ones that have been homeless for much of their lives." He was quiet for a moment, "Obviously, that scenario is a lot more common."

I looked down, and Jasper spoke up, "Carlisle doesn't know how to classify you, because he's never come across a case like yours before. You show the less severe characteristics of a feral child, which worries him. He's only worried because he doubts himself. He wants to help you the best way he can, but he doesn't believe he's good enough to do so." I looked to Carlisle again, seeing that Jasper was right.

"I'm not crazy." I mumbled, looking at my hands.

"I never said you were, Leandra." Jasper clarified.

"Well, my dad said something about a psychologist." I sighed, "I'm not crazy."

"Leandra, talking to a psychologist doesn't mean you're crazy." He said, "It only means you've been through so much, and they know the best ways to help you. Little things you can try to better cope with what you're dealing with."

"You help me." I reminded him.

"Yes," He allowed, "But our goal here is to make you a little more self-confident. To teach you how to solve problems on your own, but the right way. Without the violence you learned long ago. I'm worried that we're helping you too much, and that's not a good thing in the long run."

That only made me more nervous.

"Is tough love called for in this scenario?" Emmett asked, "She's so small."

"I believe it's needed." Jasper sighed, "If she's going to grow up to be a productive adult, she needs to learn, to make up for all the milestones she's missed."

Before I went to sleep that night, Carlisle decided to have another talk with me. As I sat there in my room before settling down to sleep, he came in. Sitting on the side of the bed.

"How are you feeling?"

"Better." I sighed a little, "Now that the day is over, and now that she's gone."

"That meeting didn't go at all how I wanted it to." He sighed as well, shaking his head. I looked down, hating how disappointed he was in me.

"I know." I mumbled, ashamed of myself.

"I know this is hard to think about, but I need you to accept the fact that she isn't going to release you the way your father did." I made a hesitant noise, looking down at my hands, "It's hard, I know, but just listen. You can't act that way when she takes you."

"Why not?" I asked pleadingly, "Carlisle I don't trust her. Just because she seems better, doesn't mean she is. She's just going to go right back to it, and I'll be right back where I started. Cleaning up after her, and raising myself. I just don't get why she's allowed to have another chance. I don't want to go back to that. I don't want to be alone again, and I know that's right where I'll be if you let her take me."

"You won't be alone." He assured me, "We'll still be there for you. Maybe not quite as much as we are now, but we'll still be there."

"It won't be the same." I argued, "You won't be there right away if anything goes wrong. You won't be there to wake me up if I have a nightmare. You won't be there when I get too scared. None of you will be right there, and that matters to me. It'll just be _her_, and I know she won't help me the way you do." He was quiet as I searched his eyes, "I don't like what Jasper said. About having to learn how to be independent."

"He's not entirely wrong." Carlisle replied quietly.

"I know how to be alone." I told him, "And I don't like it. I don't want to be alone again." He was quiet, looking down. My voice was quiet as I spoke next, "Don't you want to keep me too?" He looked back up, meeting my eyes. It took him a moment to form his response.

"Of course." He told me just as quietly, "Of course we do, but.. It's a very difficult situation, Leandra."

"How?" I asked, "I want to stay, and you want me to stay.."

"Your safety always comes first." He reminded me.

"Then don't let me go." He sighed at my quiet reply, his eyes softening, "Don't let her take me. I've never wanted anything more than I want to stay."

"Leandra, it isn't my decision." He shook his head, "If it were up to me, you'd stay. This is one thing that is out of my hands."

"Then convince her." I plead quietly.

"Again, it's difficult." He said, "One day, you'll understand. You'll understand how difficult this situation is. Your safety matters the most to me. My number one priority, and despite how you want to stay, and despite how we want you to stay, you're still in danger here. I know how it seems that it's not the case, but it really is."

"I don't believe that." I mumbled after a moment, "I don't buy it."

Needless to say, he never convinced me that night. I went to sleep, falling asleep pretty quickly after my emotional day. Unfortunately, as soon as I fell asleep, I headed straight into a nightmare.

This one was different than the others I had. This one scared me more than the others for multiple reasons. One, I was here in the dream. At the Cullen's house. But two, I was alone. Nobody was around when I walked out of my room in the dream. I searched everywhere, but there was no one to find. They were just gone.

Three, as dream-me descended the stairs, still in search of my family, I finally found someone. Two someones. My mom lay sleeping on the couch, and someone else by the front door that I hadn't expected to see there made this confusing dream a nightmare. His blue eyes pierced into me, and I still heard his chuckle.

He raced for me, and I rounded the stairs just as he nearly grabbed me. This nightmare felt so incredibly real to me. I felt the painful pounding of my heart, felt the tears of fear rolling down my cheeks. I heard his pounding footsteps behind me as I raced toward my room. Sliding to a stop outside the door, I whimpered loudly as I found the door locked.

I only had a second of stunned stillness before he managed to catch me. His arm closing tightly on my upper arm, he spun me around to face him. Looking up at him, I whimpered again, watching as his other hand came up and took hold of my neck. Roughly pushing me back against the wall.

"Carlisle!" I cried out in my dream, hoping it would somehow alert him. Wherever he was. Quickly, as with any other time I'd cried out at any time in my past, Jack's hand came up, leaving my neck and covering my mouth tightly. Roughly pinning my head back against the wall with a quiet thud. Tears poured down my cheeks, over his hand, and I trembled from head to toe, watching Jack with wide eyes as he leaned down and pressed a rough kiss to my cheek. Drawing a heavy wince and quiet whimper from me.

"You should have known you'd never get away." Jack told me, "Nowhere to run. Nowhere to hide." I just stood there, trembling under his hand. Feeling so small, as I always did when up against him. I met his eyes again as he pulled back, seeing the intent in them that speared me to the wall in my fear.

He wasn't going to beat me this time.

My eyes widened as I fully realized what he had planned, and he grinned. He knew I knew what was on his mind. I knew for a fact that he only hurt me that way because it caused me the most pain. I feared that pain more than being beaten.

He pressed a second, lingering kiss to my cheek. Near his hand, and I cringed, squeezing more tears from my eyes. Looking back up at him, I realized we were suddenly inside my room now. Beyond the locked door, and as confused as I was, I couldn't concentrate on that.

He lifted me with one arm easily, pulled his hand away and pressed a kiss to my cheek, right beside my lips. Just as he did so, I sobbed, flinching at his chuckle as he tightened his hold on me. Squeezing me painfully. Knowing my mom wouldn't hear me.

Waking myself up, I bolted upright in my bed. My heart pounded violently, and I looked around myself, feeling more than seeing the shape of someone seated on the side of the bed. I didn't wait. Only reacting.

I crawled away as quickly as I could, my legs tangling in the sheet. Before I could fall off the opposite side and hit the floor, I was caught. I cried out a whimper, instantly fighting. Kicking toward the hand that pulled me back up onto the bed. As hard as I could.

"Leandra." Carlisle's voice had me pause, panting through my sobs and trembling heavily.

"H-He was here." I panted, drawing my legs to my chest as he let me go, "I-In here.." That was all I could say. I buried my eyes in my knees, and cried.

"I'm sorry I didn't wake you." He sighed after a minute of watching me fall apart. I couldn't respond, so he continued, "I wanted you to see that you could wake yourself if you tried. I thought if you found that independence, you would find more."

I cried harder, curling tighter into my ball. I wasn't about to go back to sleep. Not after a dream like that. I'd never had a dream that involved this house before. It scared me, and confused me. Why wouldn't they be here? It was just a dream, and I knew that, but it still shook me.

I followed Carlisle from the room, tears still flowing freely down my cheeks.

"This must have been a bad one." Emmett sighed from the couch, taking in the state of me. I normally didn't follow him out. I normally was able to go back to sleep. Esme, looking up from the book in her hands, whimpered at the sight of me as well. I went to her instead of Emmett like I usually did. Taking the spot on the floor at her feet. It was after dreams like that that I strongly preferred her comfort. Getting the message, Emmett nodded sadly.

"I don't think tonight was the right time to test that." Carlisle murmured, sitting on the other end of the couch. Esme gently smoothed my hair back, letting me calm down enough to yawn, "I'll have to let Jasper know."

"Was it the usual?" Emmett asked, looking to Carlisle.

"No." I mumbled, "It was different this time." I hardly ever spoke about dreams like that, so Emmett's surprise wasn't out of place.

"But it was still bad." Emmett murmured, trying to understand. I nodded, taking a shaky breath.

"Really bad." I murmured, wrapping my arms around my shins.

"You say he was here?" Carlisle prompted. I nodded.

"It was just a dream." I sighed, "And I know that, but.. It still scared me. He wasn't hitting me, and he wasn't going to kill me right away." I looked down, listening to Emmett's sad sigh of understanding.

"I get what you're saying, shorty." Emmett told me, and I blushed a little, biting my lip, "He won't get to you here."

"Seeing her mother must have caused this." Esme commented quietly, smoothing my hair softer. I sighed, leaning back against her.

"She was in it, too." I admitted, "Sleeping." Carlisle leaned back, piecing it together as well. He sighed, looking to Emmett, "She wouldn't do anything."

"Where were we, shorty?" Emmett asked quietly.

"I don't know." I said, shrugging a little, "Nobody was around."

"Well see, now you know it's only a dream." Emmett tried comforting me, "You're never left here alone."

"I know." I mumbled, looking down. I was quiet for a second, before I sighed, "I hate my mind sometimes."

I still shook, but not near as intensely. It was quiet for a moment, before I spoke again.

"Jasper isn't around, is he?"

"No." Carlisle answered, "He and Alice are out." I knew that meant they were hunting. I nodded, looking down. He'd been out every night that week, and I worried it was getting harder on him to be around me.

"Can I sit out here for awhile?" I asked quietly, "I'm afraid to sleep."

"You should sleep, shorty." Emmett told me, "It's not good for you to stay up so late." Carlisle looked as if he agreed.

"Just until Jasper comes back." I plead slightly, "I always sleep better when he's around."

"Shorty-"

"What if I dream about the trial again?" I asked, "It's so hard to calm down after those." I looked down, drawing my knees back up to my chest. Esme sighed sadly behind me, and reached down, gently helping me up and sitting me in the chair with her. Clearing my hair from my shoulder, I kept my gaze on Emmett.

"They're just dreams." He replied comfortingly, "You don't have anything to be afraid of."

"But I did." I reminded him, "When I dream about it, I'm there again." I glanced over, watching as Rosalie descended the stairs, obviously curious, "I know they're only dreams, but I don't know they're just dreams when I'm dreaming. I still get scared. I remember everything in them." Rose stopped beside Emmett, her eyes on me as well. I looked down, hating how I'd disturbed her.

Emmett was quiet now, looking to Carlisle. Probably not knowing what to say.

"Can I ask a question?" I asked finally, looking to Carlisle as well.

"Of course." He replied, instantly listening closer.

"Would I ever die if I was like you?" I knew I'd asked the one question he was hoping he'd never have to answer, by the way he glanced to Esme again. It'd instantly gained Rose and Emmett's attention as well, surprising them by the way they looked wide-eyed to him as well.

I waited, letting him form his answer. It wasn't what I was looking for.

"It's more complicated than that." He finally replied.

"Why?"

"I don't know if I can explain it in a way you would understand."

I couldn't help my curiosity about them, and though they usually answered my questions, there were some that they wouldn't. I assumed now was one of those times, where Carlisle wouldn't answer these ones, but I still wanted to know. Here I was, in a family of vampires, immortals, and being the only human aside from Bella, I wanted to know these things. She wasn't around the others as much as I was, though. She didn't see as much as I saw, especially during the summer break. I was home all of the time, aside from times when I'd go along with someone somewhere.

I thought my curiosity was perfectly justified, but it didn't make it any easier to answer me.

"I'm just curious." I mumbled, "Would I?"

He sighed, understanding that I probably wouldn't let this go.

"It'll be easier to answer you when you're older." He said, trying to dodge my question.

"How much older?" I pressed, "Don't you want me to be like you? You seem so strong, and I'm.. Not. If I was like you, I'd never have to worry about dying, or being weak again." I was babbling, I knew it, but it was distracting me.

"You don't understand what you're asking, Leandra." Carlisle's voice was tight, as if this were a hard subject for him. I knew it probably was.

"What if I were dying? Not even then?" He was quiet, obviously not up for talking about this. I was quiet for a minute, before speaking again, "I don't want to die. Ever. I want to be like you."

"You're far too young to make that decision right now." Carlisle responded, his voice even tighter. I looked down. Normally, I didn't press things. Normally, I just stopped asking if it was a question nobody was willing to answer, but I found myself unable to. I knew if I didn't ask these questions now, then it'd probably never come up again.

"No I'm not." I shook my head, "I won't change my mind, no matter how long I live. However long that is." I looked up, surprised when he suddenly stood and lifted me, sitting me on the armrest of the couch and standing in front of me. He met my eyes.

"I want you to clearly understand me." His tone wasn't one of scolding, but of pleading. He wasn't mad, he just wanted me to understand, "You've been alive for ten years. Just ten, short years. You have your entire life ahead of you, Leandra. More can happen in ten more years than you can ever begin to imagine. You've just begun to live, and I'm not going to take that from you. I can't."

"B-But, what-"

"No." He said firmly, "You don't want this life."

"Yes, I do." I said before he could interrupt me again.

"You're a child." He responded.

"That doesn't mean anything." I insisted, "You said yourself, I've already lived much more than anyone my age. Being human sucks."

"You haven't experienced enough to make that assumption."

"What more do I have to experience?" I replied pleadingly, "I'm not sure what else there is. How much worse does it have to get before I can change your mind?"

"Life isn't all bad."

"Tell that to me." I mumbled, looking down.

"You're upset right now." He said as if that made up for how I was feeling, "When you've calmed down, you'll change your mind."

"No I won't." I paused, "Carlisle, I'm sick of being so afraid. So tired of being so scared all the time. If I was like you, I wouldn't be afraid of anything. I wouldn't be afraid of dying, or anything else. I could be strong. I could be brave, just like you."

"Leandra, I get scared too." He said, "All the time."

"What do you have to be afraid of?" I asked, looking down.

"This." He said, gesturing to the two of us, "Right here." I frowned, looking up at him, confused, "I fear this the most. You deciding to throw your whole life away for our way of life. If you only understood." He shook his head.

"Does it hurt?" I asked quietly. He paused, meeting my eyes as I looked up.

"Excruciatingly." He said after a moment. I think he was just trying to scare me into changing my mind.

"I don't care." I said after a moment, looking down, "I'm used to pain. I can handle it."

"Not like this." He said quietly, his voice filled with pain, "It's a thousand times more painful than anything you've felt before." I didn't respond, so he continued, "We're not discussing this any further. This is one thing I will not be lenient on."

"What if I was dying again?" I asked again, looking up and meeting his eyes.

"Is that what brought this on?" He asked, "The fear of death?"

"Not only that." I mumbled. My voice got quieter, "I'm afraid of losing you. If I was like you, you wouldn't give me away. If I was like you, nobody could take me from you. Least of all, my mom."

"Leandra-" He sighed.

"Okay.." I interrupted, "But what happens then? If I'm about to die again? And I never have a chance to say goodbye? What if I'm scared? What if I'm not ready to die yet, but it would happen anyway?" I paused, waiting for a few seconds, "Like before? You were there. You saw. What if something like that happens again?"

He sighed, closing his eyes and hanging his head, "You know I don't like thinking about that."

"I don't either." I told him, "But I have to. I don't have control over it."

"Leandra-" Esme spoke this time.

"It's an honest question." I insisted quietly, "Would you then?"

"I will not take your life." He said firmly after a moment.

"I'm not asking you to." I replied, "I'm only asking you to help me keep it. All I want is to be like you."

He was quiet, stepping around and sitting back down on the couch. I turned around on the armrest, facing him.

He looked to Emmett and Rosalie, sighing a little. As if silently asking for assistance.

**A/N: This would have been out last night, but the site was down for a bit, so I went to sleep instead lol  
I hope you enjoyed chapter two. (:  
It took.. Several hours of editing before it became something I was willing to release. Straightening out the confusing parts and whatnot. ****Lots of work went into this chapter. More than usual, strangely enough, so I hope it's decent enough to earn reviews.  
Speaking of which. My reviewers are amazing. Seriously. I love it when you guys provide me with what you liked about the chapter. That helps me so much. So.. Thank you guys!  
And thank you to those that followed/favorited this already as well. (: **  
**Chapter three will be on its way out once I get some desperately needed housework done. The hubby is starting to think I died. o.o**


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter Three**

"I'm serious, Carlisle." I begged, "If you would just-"

"I'm serious as well, Leandra." He told me firmly, shaking his head, "The answer is no. At least, for the time being." For the oddest reason, I felt disappointed. I never pressed anything this hard. I knew, though, that it was only because I was scared. What I was asking for didn't seem like so much to me. All I wanted was peace of mind.

"You're not being fair." I whined, pouting.

"Hey." Emmett called my attention sternly, "That's not being fair." His tone was scolding, and I instantly checked myself. I looked down, "You owe him more than that."

"I know." I closed my eyes, trying not to cry at the correction, "I'm sorry."

"Shorty, you don't know what you're asking for." Emmett sighed, seeing that he'd upset me, "All he's doing is protecting you from that. You can't blame him for that. Geez, I wish I could explain it to you in a way you would understand.." He seemed frustrated with himself. I looked down again, gazing at my hands clasped between my drawn-up knees.

To my surprise, it was Rosalie that stepped over instead of Emmett. She reached down and lifted me from the armrest, and sat me down in the empty chair, kneeling in front of me. Her gaze was serious.

"Why?" She demanded. I couldn't speak at first, "Really. Why?" I looked to Emmett, unsure. He was quiet, watching.

I looked down, "I'm tired of being weak-"

"You're not weak." She said firmly, "You are not weak, do you hear me? I never want to hear that from you again. Just because someone is stronger than you, doesn't mean that you're not strong as well. You are the strongest kid I've ever met. You might not be very physically strong, but what you've been through is enough to prove that you are stronger than most humans on earth."

"But I don't _feel_ like it." I explained, "If I was stronger, maybe I would."

"What you're talking about, is feeling vulnerable." She told me, and I nodded a little, "That's different. Very different, and changing you won't take that away. Next reason."

"I'm tired of being afraid-"

"Again, that never goes away." She said, "Immortal, or human, you still get scared. There are still things that scare us, Leandra. It might not be the same reasons as you have, but we still do get scared."

"What do you have to be scared of?" I mumbled, "Nothing can hurt you."

"Other immortals can hurt us. Easily." She answered, "Thanks to Carlisle, we tend to avoid confrontations with them, but there is still that chance. We worry for our family, and we worry over our way of life. It's a little harder than just choosing to hunt animals instead of humans. It's more complicated than that. I won't go into details, but trust me. What we do is reason to worry. Especially for you."

"I'm not worried."

"You're ignoring the instinct." She explained, "Because of what we've done for you. Remember how scared you were of Laurent? The one you saw in the kitchen?" I nodded numbly, "That was instinct, Leandra. Your mind was telling you to be afraid of him, and for very good reason. It wouldn't be as strong, but had you found us before getting to know us, before meeting Alice or Edward, or even Carlisle, if none of that had happened, you'd be afraid of us too." She was so sure. So positive, I couldn't argue with her, "Try again. Next reason."

"I don't want to be given away."

"Why?" She asked again. I looked up, confused, "Why don't you want to be given away?"

"Because." I spluttered, "I love you all."

"Is this about having to go live with your mother?" She asked quietly.

"Sort of." I replied, "I'm scared. All the time. I'm afraid of what could happen."

"Leandra, let me explain something to you." She sighed, "I think I can see where you're coming from. Change scares everyone. Trust me. Change is nothing easy, but I have nothing but the highest confidence that your mother will get it right this time. She's seen what happens, she's seen the consequences, and she won't put you through that again."

"If I go back to live with her, you'll forget all about me."

"You really think that?" She asked, surprised, "Leandra, that would never happen. I don't think it's possible."

"If Carlisle turns me, then that won't happen." I reasoned, "You'd never want to give me away."

"It's not that we'd want to give you away, Leandra." Esme commented sadly. I glanced to her, before looking back to Rosalie.

Rose looked at me as if she'd made her point. She paused before sighing.

"I want you to think, and think hard." She looked into my eyes fiercely, "Consider what you will be losing. Just what you'd be losing out on if you keep insisting Carlisle changes you. That emotion right there, love, is reason enough to stay human. You can't make the decision to give your life to immortality until you've really lived."

She was right. I looked down, doing as she asked, and thinking about just how much I loved my family. How much they meant to me. I guess I hadn't realized before how much I really did rely on this family. How much I really did love them, and how grateful I was for all they'd done for me. The emotion and way I felt right that moment was so breathtakingly beautiful, it broke my heart and it made me cry. Rose pulled me to her, hugging me tightly as I cried into her shoulder.

"I want to be able to defend myself." I cried to her, "I'm so tired of not being able to stand up for myself. I'm tired of being breakable. I'm tired of being fragile." I sobbed, "These dreams, these fears. They hurt. They show me things I can't stand to see, and I never want to see them again. B-But I _do_. I can't just not dream about them."

"Just because we don't show it, doesn't mean there isn't anything that breaks us. We all have weaknesses, just like you. I do. Emmett does. Carlisle and Esme do. There are still moments when we feel breakable and fragile. Believe me. That doesn't just magically go away, Leandra." She paused, "Once the change is made, it's permanent. There is no changing your mind, or going back. Do you understand what that means? It means forever."

"Forever?"

She sighed, looking down and searching my eyes desperately, "You really don't know just what it is you're asking for, do you? There is more to this than large amounts of strength and speed, Leandra. If you were turned right now, the age you are right now is how old you will be for the rest of time." She said, "You would outlive everyone you've ever known. Years and decades will pass, seeming like no time at all to you, and in what feels like the blink of an eye, everyone you know will be gone. Could you handle that? Should I go on?" I sniffled into her shoulder, shaking my head, "Carlisle can tell you more about that, though. He's the oldest out of all of us, and has seen it." She was quiet for a moment. She rubbed my back as I held onto her.

It was odd, sharing this moment with her. She'd been so carefully distant since I'd known her. This was obviously something that meant a lot to her. A subject that she felt strongly about. I began to calm down, and she pulled back, taking my face between her hands, "There are so many beautiful things to life you will miss out on. You're so young, Leandra. So many beautiful things are waiting for you to just get a little older. You can't even imagine."

She paused, "To grow, to mature. To have fun, and love so deeply. To learn from life's mistakes. Life will teach you things you can't learn without it. To live every day like you will die some day. You can't do that when you're like us." She paused again, searching my eyes with pleading ones of her own, "All you've experienced until now is the worst life has to offer, but there are so many more things to life that you have yet to experience. You'll see."

"How do you know?" I sniffled, "What if things just get worse?"

She smiled slightly, "There is always that chance, it's true." She allowed, "But you never know. Things could become so much more beautiful. You never fully know what you could be throwing away."

"B-But-"

"It's the possibility, Leandra, that gives you the advantage." She said firmly, "What could be. What something that seems so bad at the time can turn into. So many possibilities lie ahead of you. You have the whole world in your hands, and you don't even know it." She paused, "All we're asking is to grow a little first. Then make your decision." I looked down, "Carlisle isn't refusing because he doesn't want you. He's just.. He's refusing to take your life when you've not even lived yet."

"B-But-" I tried again.

"What you've been through, Leandra, isn't living. Think of it as.. Weighing you down. Holding you back from the life you're supposed to experience. Imagine what you could become when you have had a chance to move passed it." She paused, "He's seen what changing someone can do. Especially when they haven't had a chance to move passed the bad things that's happened to them. Changing them before they've had a chance to heal. He knows what happens when someone is turned before they can come to terms with it, and he doesn't want to see that happen to you."

I looked down again. I sighed, knowing she was right.

"Just be patient." She murmured, "You're going to grow up into a beautiful young woman, and probably be too busy with your own life to want to be changed. I know it's hard for you, but try to think beyond tomorrow. So very much can change between now and ten, even five years from now. You just never know. You're much too young to give up now." With that, she pulled me into another hug, "Okay?" I nodded into her shoulder.

I understood what she was telling me. It wasn't a flat out no. All they wanted me to do was grow up a little bit before making any decisions. To try. To give living another chance. It was the least I could do after being given the opportunity to. My heart still beat. I was still alive. I nodded again, taking a deep breath.

"Way to go, babe." Emmett murmured from the side after a moment of quiet. She looked over, giving him a small smile before pulling back and standing.

I stood also and walked over to Carlisle, sitting back down on the armrest beside him.

"I'm sorry." I murmured quietly, "For begging so much."

"I definitely understand, Leandra." Carlisle told me, "I honestly do, but Rosalie is right. I'm not denying you this trying to be selfish. I'm only waiting for you to live first. Do you understand what I was saying now?"

"I know now." I nodded, looking up at him, "I just have to wait a few years."

"Or ten. Or twenty. There is no obligation here, Leandra. You have the option to change your mind. You always will, until after it's done." I nodded and looked up, meeting his eyes.

"I just have one more question." I murmured, and though he seemed apprehensive, he let me know he was listening, "Would you still want me after my mom takes me?"

"Leandra," He sighed, turning more to face me, "I think something you're not understanding, is the fact that just because she takes you home, doesn't mean in the slightest that we won't be around. I think the reason why you're so apprehensive, is because you think that when she takes you, you won't see us again." I was quiet, "Is that it?" I'd told him this before, but now that he was asking about it, it seemed harder to answer. I nodded a little, fighting back the emotion.

"Fat chance, shorty." Emmett murmured and I glanced to him, "You're too much fun to pick on."

"As Rosalie told you just a moment ago," Carlisle spoke again, "It's not possible. Just because you'll be leaving here, doesn't mean that we'll ever forget about you. Leandra, the impact you've made on our lives isn't something that can be just forgotten about, I assure you."

"The impression?" I asked quietly, and he smiled a little, knowing what I was referring to. Edward's talk with me after catching me smoking behind the school. He'd told me that I'd left an impression on Alice earlier in the day.

"Precisely." Carlisle replied. I sighed, looking down.

"So no more dreams like that, okay?" Emmett asked, "We're not going anywhere."

I made no promises, but there was no denying I was tired again. I'd calmed down enough to allow myself to go back to bed. I was still apprehensive, nervous about closing my eyes, but as soon as I did, I fell right back to sleep.

I didn't ask about being turned again, which I knew relieved Carlisle quite a bit.

The rest of the summer mostly consisted of more frequent visits from my mother. It seemed like she was there every day. I didn't have much choice in the matter, however. I never spoke a word to her, but I at least had to sit there.

She told me she'd be buying a more suitable home somewhere in Forks. She'd already sold the trailer, thankfully. We wouldn't have to go back there. I'd be allowed to visit with the Cullens as often as I wanted, as she was choosing a house in town. She even tried to show me pages of potential homes.

I hated the subject of going home with her. I knew I would not handle that well, so I avoided it as much as I could, yet she brought it up as often as she could. It didn't make sense to me. She knew it bothered me, yet she spoke about it every chance she could. Maybe she just liked to torture me, or it was just as Esme said. She just wanted to help me adjust to the idea.

It wasn't until two weeks of non-stop visits with my mom that I'd been informed of the fact that the reason she was there so much, was because she'd gotten out early. She'd completed the program ahead of time, and that news felt like a punch to the stomach.

"What?" I gasped, unable to fully comprehend what she told me. The first word I'd spoken to her since my birthday sounded forced.

"Yeah." She laughed, nodding, "Two weeks to the day. Isn't that great? I've already got a job interview lined up for Monday, and another on Wednesday."

"Job?" That was fast. I felt my world shifting again, changing around me once more. Changing so quickly, I couldn't catch my breath. I couldn't deal with this.

"Dr. Cullen was so gracious, Leandra." She said, not even noticing my impending breakdown, "With the money I got from the trailer, and what he's chipped in for us, I was able to buy that little yellow house. You know the one, with the tree in the big backyard, right outside your bedroom window? Oh, honey. This is going to work this time. I know it." I clenched my teeth. If she didn't shut up, I was going to hit her. Esme, noticing my mood as she sat across from us, called my attention.

"Leandra." She murmured, concerned, "Breathe, honey." I looked to her, and just noticed I hadn't taken a breath in a minute. I let out what breath I'd been holding, before closing my eyes and taking another in. It was during that breath that the tears started. I was so angry no one had told me.

I stood without a word, and strode from the room.

"Leandra." My mom called behind me, "Leandra, wait." I slammed my bedroom door, locking it with shaking fingers. I collapsed into a crying ball on the floor beside my bed, drawing my knees up to my chest.

I now had maybe two weeks, at the most, still here. I sobbed in my anger, unable to keep it back. How dare she? How could she do that to me? Her completing the program early only screwed me over. Again. I'd counted on months here, not weeks. What hurt the most, was that my family knew about this. They'd had to have known for weeks, even Carlisle, and nobody felt I needed to know this.

Nobody told me.

I stayed in that position all afternoon, not unlocking the door for anyone. Despite how many knocks came to the door. There was only one person I wanted to see at that moment, and he was still at work.

When he arrived home sooner than usual, I knew Esme had called him. I uncurled, striding to the door when I heard his knock. I pulled it open long enough for Carlisle to step in and I slammed it behind him.

"How could you?" I demanded instantly. I'd calmed down, but as soon as the opportunity to confront him arose, my emotions resurfaced.

"Leandra, just listen for a moment." He murmured calmly.

"How could you not tell me? Didn't I deserve to know this?" I sobbed, backing up a step when he attempted to pull me into a hug, "You know what this means! She's gonna get a job, she's gonna prove that she can take care of me, and then she's gonna ruin my life!"

"Look at me." I turned my eyes up to his, tears streaming heavily down my flushed cheeks, "You can't see it like that."

"How else am I supposed to see it?" My voice broke in my emotion, a sob escaping, "That's all I've ever gotten from her!" This time, I let him pull me into a hug, wrapping my arms around him. I cried into his jacket, more upset than I had been in a while. He embraced me in return, waiting until I took a few breaths before speaking again.

"I know this seems so much like we're betraying you." He murmured gently, "But you have to look at this from our point of view. As much as you mean to all of us, Leandra, you belong somewhere you can grow up without the dangers we pose to you. We'll still be here. You can still see us. Whenever you want."

"You're not dangerous to me." I sobbed, shaking my head, "None of you are. How could you think that? How could you ever think I'm better off with that bitch?"

"Leandra." Carlisle murmured, correcting me.

"It's true." I cried. Carlisle lifted me, and I wrapped my arms around his neck this time, crying into his shoulder, "She's more dangerous to me than you are. It's her fault. It's all her fault, everything that happened. She married him! She didn't listen!" He didn't speak. He let me vent, which was exactly what I needed at that moment, "I don't want to go with her, Carlisle. Don't let her take me. I want to stay here. Please, please don't let her take me."

I already knew his answer. It wasn't their choice. Once she regained custody, I was hers again. Whether they wanted to or not, they'd have to let me go. I hated putting him through this, having to hear me beg, but I couldn't help it.

His hand came up, smoothing the back of my head, comforting me just a bit.

"I know this is hard on you." He told me, "And I know this is hard to understand. If the court decides for you to go, you're going to go. There's nothing we can do."

"You can hide me." I suggested, "Anywhere. I don't care where, just don't let her take me from you." I pulled back, searching his eyes in the dimly lit room, "Don't let her take me from you like she took me from my dad. That's what she's doing. She hates that I'm happy where I am, and she wants to ruin my life. You're the closest I've ever come to having a dad again, and I don't want to lose you too."

"Leandra." He sighed, hugging me to him again. I heard the sadness and pain in his voice, and I knew I was hurting him with my begging. I bit back anything else I had to say, choosing just to cry instead.

The rest of the day went much the same way. I left my room once, but otherwise stayed put. I eventually had to leave the room the next morning. I got too hungry to stay in the room any longer. I just didn't speak much.

It took a week, even less before she had secured one job. Another quickly following. Pulling in steady income, but was still home often enough to be considered fit.

Each step forward she took, it became even more clear that I was so close to losing my family.

The week after school started again, August tenth, the date for the custody hearing was set for the thirteenth. Both Carlisle and Esme would be there, as they were both my foster parents, but I couldn't go. Not with school. All my mom would have to do was prove she could care for me, prove that she'd gotten everything together, and that was it.

When I got home from school that day, I learned it'd gone in her favor. I knew before that it probably would, but I still couldn't help but hope that it wouldn't. Just like that, I wasn't theirs anymore. Everything I'd fought to keep when this same situation arose with my dad was torn away from me. Just like that.

It crushed me, to say the least. I hated my mom so much when I was told that. I hated her. She claimed to care about me, yet here I was. Sobbing into my pillow in my room, in the only home I'd ever know or accept.

I cried all afternoon.

Carlisle attempted to console me, assuring me that he knew my mother was fit again to care for me, and he promised me that he'd keep watch over me. Nothing he told me helped. I stayed curled up on my bed, sobbing quietly.

I knew all this, yet it still felt horrible.

I'd made myself sick that night by how upset I'd gotten. It didn't change anything, unfortunately.

There was no easing me into being independent anymore. I had to learn how to be before the weekend. I had to learn how to get passed being afraid. I had to learn how to be alone again. Even if I could see them whenever I wanted, it couldn't be as often as I truly wanted.

I was to move out that weekend. The fifteenth, sixteenth, and seventeenth.

All through the weekend, we packed my things and took them to my mother's house. Each box that left my room hurt me more than the last. I hated this more than anything else, and I hated my mom more with each passing second.

I hadn't realized I had so many things, but luckily, my new bedroom was big enough to fit everything. A double bed sat in the corner against the wall behind where the door opened into the room. Much smaller than the queen sized bed I was used to. I had a feeling I'd roll off the side of it. I hated that bed. I hated this room. I hated everything about this new house.

I looked around my finished room on the seventeenth, knowing this was where I would stay. Part of me knew this was it. No amount of fit throwing would get me back into the Cullen's house.

All of my clothes were in the dresser and closet. All my stuff, picture frames and things, were set up. The room was also much smaller than I was used to, but I knew my mom couldn't afford anything like the Cullens had. Nor did she need a place that big.

A tiny lamp shaped nightlight sat on the dresser across from the door, a pink shade over it made the room glow almost. That was the only light on in the room, despite the lamp I had beside the bed, and the overhead light.

Carlisle stood beside me, looking around also. As hard as I looked at the room, I couldn't think of it as home. It was strange. It felt strange, it smelled strange, it looked strange, it wasn't home. The hardwood was cold, even through my shoes. I sniffled, wiping tears from my cheeks before looking up at him.

I was trying to be brave by then, but I couldn't.

Carlisle went to leave that evening, this time not bringing me with him. I clung to him, crying. He kneeled down in front of me and looked into my eyes. I'll never forget the look he gave me, a mix somewhere between pain and trying to be strong.

"You'll be okay here." He told me, "Please. Give it a try."

"Don't leave me here." I plead, my voice breaking, "Please."

"I know this is hard. Believe me, I know." His voice was quiet, and I heard the pain he attempted to hide, "I don't want to leave you here any more than you want to stay, but there is no other choice."

"Carlisle-"

"You belong here." He cut my protest short, "With your mother."

"No I don't." I insisted, shaking my head, "I don't."

"You'll understand some day." He murmured, "You'll be okay."

I watched as he stood, gave my shoulder one last comforting squeeze, and left. I watched after him, a quiet sob leaving me. After he was gone, I decided to at least try again. I made my way back into my room, closing the door behind me. If I was going to be forced to live here, I had to find some sort of peace here, or I'd lose my mind.

I stepped over to the window, looking out over the side yard, over the neighborhood. I only had the one window in my bedroom, which bothered me. It was so much smaller than my other window at home. My hand came up and pulled the heavy, dark pink curtain to the side.

I really wasn't that far away from them, I tried to reason with myself. I was still in the same town, and the town wasn't that big. A few miles, if that. I just wasn't used to living in the middle of town. The Cullens lived on the outskirts of town, and the trailer had been outside of town as well. It was odd, to say the least. Brand new to me to see a neighbor's house so close by.

Evening birds chirped in the neatly trimmed hedges of the houses nearby, and a dog barked a few yards over. From what I could see of the sidewalk, an older couple was taking an evening walk, and a car drove by. The neighbors' porch lights were just coming on, as were the streetlights. Pristine lawns, complete with gardens was where I had come. I wasn't used to living in a neighborhood.

A couple of younger kids were out playing in their front yard a few houses up across the street. It was obviously an okay part of town. I tried to find some part of me that was okay with all of this, but I just couldn't. It bothered me so deeply.

I had nightmares that night, watching Carlisle leave over and over. Each time, I'd wake up in tears. My heart had broken, and each time I sat up alone in my bed, it made itself known.

No one came in to comfort me. No one came in, because no one heard my cries.

I was lonely here, and I hated it. I was alone here, and I was afraid. I didn't want to be here. Me being here despite how I hated being here just made me feel worse. The small, two bedroom house was dark. My mom having already gone to bed, because she had work in the morning. I doubted she wanted to be bothered, and I knew better to even try to wake her while she slept. She'd probably just groan at me to get back to bed, and roll over.

I had no way of describing the hatred and bitterness I felt. There were no words to. There was no way to ease it, other than crying into my pillow. I was confused, and I was hurting. Every part of me was telling me that I didn't belong here. I shouldn't be there. It was telling me that I wasn't safe anymore.

This room seemed cold, though I knew it was perfectly warm. It wasn't home, it wasn't mine. I shivered, holding onto myself. I laid down, curling onto my side, my back to the rest of the room. I sobbed softly, wishing I could sleep, wishing I could be comforted by someone. My mom wouldn't be the one to satisfy that, even if she did wake up.

I wanted my family. Not _her_.

If I could get to them, I wouldn't feel this way. I'd proven that to myself several times. More times than I could count. If I was able to be around them, I'd be comforted. I wouldn't be scared, and I wouldn't feel alone.

It wasn't only Jasper's gift that gave me comfort, though it was an added plus. It was just their very presence that comforted me most, and here didn't provide that to me. I knew exactly where they were, though, and I knew I could get there if I just tried hard enough.

I sat up in my bed again, determined now. I looked at the clock. 12:13am. Despite how tired I was, I wouldn't let myself rest until I was with them again. I jumped up and pulled on a pair of jeans and a coat over my pajama top, walked to my window and threw it open. If they wouldn't come to me, I would go to them.

I jumped up, swinging first one leg, then the other over the sill until they were outside. I hopped out, thanking my lucky stars that this house was only one story.

Just as I jumped out, I was pulled into a hug. I jumped a little, not expecting it, but quickly calmed enough to realize. It was Carlisle. He was there. He'd been there waiting. I didn't know if it was Alice's gift that tipped him off, or if he just knew me so well, but he was there. He was waiting for me. I realized this, clung to him, and cried. He lifted me to him.

"Tomorrow night, I won't be here." He told me as I started to calm down, "I have to ask you to stay here."

I didn't respond as he carried me back into my window and sat me back in bed. I felt myself torn from him as he released me and looked at me.

"Stay here."

"But I don't want to be here." I told him quietly, shaking my head.

"I know." He responded, "I know you don't. Please believe me. This is hard for all of us too, but this is the way it has to be."

"Carlisle, please." I plead quietly, "Take me home."

"You are home, Leandra." He corrected gently, "This is your home now. A little bit of apprehension is normal, but I need you to try."

"I don't _want_ to!" I finally cried. Nobody was hearing me, and I was getting mad. He looked up toward the door with a soft sigh. Listening, I soon realized, "She won't wake up. She never does."

During my stay with them, I realized that I _should_ have a voice. An opinion in what happened to me. They taught me that, but this was different. No matter how hard I tried, no matter what I said, or how hard I fought, things wouldn't change. I didn't like that, and they needed to realize that soon, or I'd explode.

"Would it be better if I stayed with you tonight?" He offered quietly. I would have preferred to go home, but having him stay was the offer. It was better than nothing, so I nodded. He nodded as well, and gestured that I lay back down. I pulled off my jacket and shoes, getting comfortable enough to sleep. I turned over and crawled under the blanket, surprisingly a lot more relaxed about going back to sleep.

It wasn't too surprising to me. Carlisle was there, and he was offering to stay the night with me. I felt safer instantly, and that provided me the comfort I needed to give sleep a chance.

I cuddled into the blanket, sighing heavily. I looked up at him, watching as he stepped forward and sat gently on the side of the bed.

"Don't leave." I requested quietly, "Please."

"I won't." He told me, "Now sleep. It's late." I nodded a little, letting my eyes close. I opened my eyes a few more times, just to make sure he was still there, before I drifted off.

"Leandra." I woke with a start, realizing I must have been having another nightmare, given my racing heart. I looked to the bedroom door, meeting my mom's eyes in the dark, "I'm off to work, sweetheart. Don't be late for school." I looked to the side of the bed, empty as if nobody had ever been there. Had I only imagined him coming over?

"Okay." I mumbled, disoriented and she nodded.

"Love you, honey. Have a good day." With that, my door closed, and I laid back down onto my back. It was still dark outside, so I knew it was way too early for me to be awake for school. I sighed, rubbing my tired eyes.

"Go back to sleep, Leandra." I jumped, yelping a little at Carlisle's voice beside the bed, "I'll wake you up when you need to be up."

Uncovering my eyes, I blinked up at him, "I thought you left."

"I told you I wouldn't." He replied, sitting back down, "I just had to move out of sight until she left the room." I laughed a little, imagining the look on her face if she'd caught him.

My smile faded as I looked up at him, "Will you stay tonight too?"

He sighed, giving me a look.

"I know." I mumbled, "I know. I have to get used to it. I just.. Hate it so much here. You being here makes it bearable."

"We'll see." He told me after a moment, "I just want to see that you're trying."

"I'll try." I murmured. It was the first time I'd agreed to try, and he noticed that as well. With him there, it'd be easier to adjust. I could already see that. Him being there would be like a reward for not hitting her.

He nodded with a quiet sigh, "Get some more sleep. I'll be here."

I raced through the day, eager to get home. When I got home, my mom was already home. Surprised to see me excited for once, instead of glaring at her every second.

"How was your day?" She asked, turning from where she stood preparing to make dinner.

"Good." I replied, sighing. Trying not to seem too excited, "Yours?"

"Oh." She seemed even more surprised, "It went well. I think I've made a pretty good impression so far."

"That's good." I nodded, glancing toward my room, "Um.. I think I'm going to go take care of my homework."

"Yeah." She nodded as well, "Go ahead, sweetheart. I'll just.. Be here." She watched after me, the water in the sink the only sound behind me.

It was effort, and it was enough. I even helped my mom with the after-dinner dishes. Mostly silently, but it was more than she could have asked for. Five minutes after we'd finished the dishes, a knock at the door came. I perked up, watching as my mom stood from her place in the chair and stepped over to pull it open.

The first one I saw was Carlisle. Beside him, however, were Emmett and Esme. I grinned, hopping up immediately. Emmett stepped forward to lift me without hesitation, and I hugged him.

"Hey there, shorty." Emmett told me, "How'd today go for you?"

"Amazing." My mom answered before I could, shock in her voice, "She was so well behaved. Like a completely new kid. I don't know what's gotten into her, but whatever it is, I hope it lasts."

"Good job, shorty." Emmett told me, smiling, "And Jasper thought bribery wouldn't work."

"I'm sorry?" My mom asked. He'd said that last bit only loud enough for me to hear, and we smiled at each other.

"Nothing." He replied, "Just asking shorty if she'd done her homework."

"Even tomorrow's." I replied, "It's too easy for me."

"Wow." He laughed, "You're kicking butt, aren't you?"

"I always do."

They stayed for quite awhile, enduring my mom's repeated thanks for whatever was said to me to turn my attitude around. I would be the model child as long as someone stayed with me at night. That's all I asked.

And they did.

I kept my end of the bargain unwaveringly, and so did they. When Carlisle couldn't stay with me, someone else would. Usually Esme, but now and then Emmett would take her place. I didn't get much sleep with him around, though, as I was always worried he'd get bored.

Shower taken, teeth brushed, and always in my room before nine. Staying ahead in my homework, excelling in school, and helping my mom around the house when she worked late. Not a harsh word her direction, or even a complaint.

Without even realizing it, I'd begun to adjust. Someone staying with me at night was beginning to just be an added plus. By doing all those things, just looking forward to someone showing up at night, I was learning independence. To do things on my own, instead of staying at my family's hip.

Even my annoying classmate was becoming less irritating. I found I tolerated his presence easier. Even telling him to go away now and then. He'd just laugh and shake it off. Usually shutting up, knowing his rambling was bothering me.

After about two solid weeks of this, however, I began to notice something. When I woke later in the night, whoever was staying with me would be further from me in the room. Still there, but eventually across the room, nearest the window. It unsettled me a little, knowing exactly what they were doing.

Distancing themselves from me.

The first morning I woke up alone, I was disappointed, but I understood. I knew it couldn't continue the way it was. Independence, and all that. I accepted that. I even accepted it when someone would come by only every other night instead of every night. It was when it became every third night that I started to have a problem with it.

I lost sleep, and my mood began to drastically decline. I stopped trying so hard, both at home and at school. Why bother, I figured. What was the point?

I sighed, tossing my untouched piece of toast onto the plate in front of me. Today was Monday, and my stomach was nervous. I was going to tell them today what exactly I thought of their attempts to distance themselves. How unfair it was. I'd done everything I was asked to do. What had I done to deserve their distance?

I would ask that, I decided. I wanted to know what I'd done wrong. I understood it was their way of helping me adjust, but it bothered me. I hadn't asked yet, but tonight, I would. I would let them know how unhappy it was making me.

Bella's birthday party was scheduled for that evening, September 13th.

**A/N: Chapter three in. If there are any mistakes, I apologize. I haven't felt well since last evening, and I think I'm going to get some more sleep before I continue on with editing chapter four, or putting together chapter five. Try to get passed this fever, and stop being a wuss lol  
My reviewers are freaking awesome! You rock! Thank you for taking the time to let me know you're there. (:  
Until chapter four, guys. See you then! (:  
**


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter Four**

I looked up from my seat on the swing, spotting my annoying classmate buddy coming my way. I couldn't even really remember his name.

"You look horrible." I rolled my eyes at his voice, turning my gaze down. Recess had just started, so I was stuck with him bugging me for the next half hour. My fingers played with the butterfly pendant still around my neck absentmindedly.

"Seriously." He took the swing beside me, "The last time I looked like that, I was sick. You're not sick, are you?"

"No." I mumbled, "I'm not sick."

Encouraged by my response, he grinned, "Good. Because being sick isn't any fun. I remember the last time I was sick, I couldn't eat anything for two whole days. Man, I was starving by the time that thing passed." He waited, probably for a response. When none came, he changed the subject, "How come you never talk? You must be really shy. It's okay, because so am I. I don't talk much to anyone else. They all think I'm weird." That gained my attention. I'd often wondered why he spent all his time with me. As if he didn't have another option.

I looked over at him, "Why?"

"Because I never talk." He laughed, "I never talk to them, because they think I'm weird. They think I'm weird, because I never talk. It's funny how things work sometimes, huh?" He made sense when I actually listened to him.

"Yeah." I mumbled, looking forward again.

"So hey," He said, "I only know your name, because people from your class talk about you."

"They think I'm weird, too." I explained quietly, "What's your name again?"

"Andrew." He replied, smiling. This was the most I'd talked to him yet, and he seemed thrilled.

"Nice to meet you." I sighed, and he laughed a little. I even smiled a little, finding it slightly funny.

"I noticed you were always sitting alone." He said, "I thought I'd come be your friend."

"Why?" I asked, looking over at him once more.

"Because you looked lonely by yourself, and could probably use a friend."

"I was always so mean to you, though."

"I could tell that you really didn't mean it." He smiled a little, "Can't be too careful, can we? I won't give up on you, friend." I couldn't help but smile a little. It was quiet for a moment, the only sound being the normal sounds of kids playing further out on the playground. However small it was. It wasn't raining today, so they weren't afraid of getting wet.

"So what's bothering you?" He asked, looking over at me.

"Nothing." I immediately said, sighing.

"It's okay to tell me." He said, "Really, who will I tell? Even if I wanted to, I couldn't." I thumbed the sleeve of my sweater, keeping my eyes on the ground, "It might help to talk to someone about it." He had a point there. Get another's opinion.

"My.." I didn't know how to explain it right, "My mom finished her treatment, and I have to live with her again." He waited, confused, "I didn't want to move back in with her. I wanted to stay with the family I was with while she couldn't take me."

"Oh." He said, nodding, "How long were you with them?"

"A couple of months. Almost six."

"Don't you get to see them?" He asked.

"Yeah." I said, "But I still miss them. I don't see them as much as I used to. I hate my mom."

"Wow. She must have done something bad to make you hate her." He was wanting more information. I wasn't comfortable telling him.

"She did." I replied, "I miss my family. They're all I could have asked for. My mom just hates letting me be happy."

"Who were they?" He asked quietly, "I might know them."

"I don't doubt it." I sighed, "The whole town knows them. The Cullens."

"Oh!" He looked over, grinning, "Yeah I know who you're talking about. Dr. Cullen fixed my broken arm last year. He even gave me a blue cast, because I didn't like the green one."

"Yeah." I nodded, looking down, "That sounds like him."

"He was your dad?"

"Foster dad." I admitted, "But the closest I ever came to having one."

"I'm sorry." He said honestly, "And your mom won't just let you stay with them?"

"No." I replied, "It's final. She thinks she's doing this amazing thing for me, but she doesn't get that I just wanted to stay with them. It's not fair."

"Have you tried talking to her about it? Letting her know how you feel? That helps me and my dad sometimes."

"No." I shook my head, "It wouldn't change anything."

"You never know." I looked over at him, giving him a sad smile.

"Thanks." I said, "For listening to me complain."

"No problem." He grinned in return, "I don't mind it, really. I'm a pretty good listener. Did talking about it help, at least?"

"A little." I admitted, shrugging.

"I'm glad." He replied, "At least I'm good for something." I frowned, looking over at him.

"What do you mean by that?" I asked quietly. Recognizing just a hint of misery in his voice, hardly detectable. I knew it, though, because I'd felt it before.

"Nothing." He shook his head, laughing. I saw now. His laughter, his jokes, and his bubbly personality were a cover. That was his cover just like my attitude was my cover. How could I not have noticed this before? I saw something in him that I used to see all the time in myself, which was probably why I didn't insist he leave me alone. His smile faded a bit, and he looked down.

"So, uhm.." I said, looking down as well, "Do you live in town, or..?" I felt bad for him suddenly. I felt bad for how often I'd tried pushing him away. I wanted to make up for it.

"In town." He confirmed, and he told me the general vicinity of his house. Three streets down from main street, behind the general store. It turned out he lived on the next block. Easily within walking distance from my mom's house.

"We live close to each other." I pointed out, "That's right near me."

"Wanna come over to my house after school?" He asked, smiling.

"I can't." I said honestly, "I'm getting picked up for a birthday party tonight."

"Oh." He said, "Maybe tomorrow?"

"Maybe." I said, "I'll have to ask my mom."

"Cool." He nodded, looking as if I just made his day. He was quiet for another moment, before he finally laughed, "So what finally changed?"

"What do you mean?" I asked, sighing a little.

"Why are you finally talking to me?" He asked, "Not that I'm not happy about it. I'm just.. Curious, I guess."

"I don't know." I told him honestly, "I guess I just needed someone to talk to."

"Well, I'll be that someone." He offered, giving me a kind smile, "Any time you want."

We talked the rest of recess, and I found him very easy to get along with. Like as soon as I decided he was worth talking to instead of just ignoring him, we became instant friends. Not much had changed in the way of his rambling, except my attitude toward it. I found it was actually quite a pleasant change than the rambling of my mind. Actually listening to him, I found we had more in common than I thought we did before. I even smiled once or twice. Now and then offering a quiet reply or something to keep him going.

By the time school was over, he met me outside the classroom door, and we headed toward the parking lot together. I let him walk with me this time. Actually paying attention to him this time, instead of choosing to ignore the fact that he was there.

He was in the middle of a story, so I waited this time. I listened to it, not just walking off like I usually did.

"You talk about your dad a lot." I pointed out, ignoring the other kids thinning out around us, "Is he nice?"

He thought about the answer for a few seconds, before he laughed, "As far as dads go, I'm pretty sure he's one of the best of them. What about yours?"

"Which one?" I snorted, "I have three of them." He frowned, seeming confused, "My real dad, my stepdad, and my foster dad." I explained, and that seemed to clear things up, "My real dad.. He's pretty cool. I like him a lot, but he left when I was so young, I didn't want to go back to him when he came to get me earlier this year. My foster dad chose to let me stay when my dad offered to give me up." This was the most I'd talked to him. Ever. He was attentive the whole time, and I quickly realized that he was a very good listener, "Out of the three of them, my foster dad wins. Every time."

"What about your stepdad?"

I looked down. Unable to answer at first, but I _had_ mentioned him, so it was only natural for him to ask about Jack, "He's.." I had no words to describe him. I didn't want to go into too much detail, and scare him off. Luckily, a car horn honked by the curb, the line of parents picking up their kids backed up.

"Oh." Andrew murmured, looking back, "My dad's picking me up. I gotta go."

"Oh. Yeah, that's fine." I said, nodding. I was truthfully incredibly relieved that I didn't have to answer. I scanned the row of cars, finding one very familiar, "Well, that's my sister's car. Well, foster sister." I murmured, gesturing to the shiny red convertible sitting by the curb. I spotted Alice, grinning our way from the passenger seat of Rosalie's car. Andrew smiled back at her, noticing as well. He waved a little to her, and she waved back.

"Right." He nodded to me, "So I'll see you around?"

"Yeah." I agreed, "Yeah, I think so."

"Cool." He grinned, "Okay then. Bye." He grinned, and without warning, he leaned in and pressed a light kiss to my cheek.

I turned bright red, really fast.

Before I could ask him about it, he'd already turned, heading off. Already half-way toward a pale gold colored car. I stood there, watching him walk away for a few seconds before I could even move. I turned numbly, heading toward them. Alice stepped out to let me into the backseat, flipping the seat forward. She grinned widely, and I knew she saw that.

I wished I'd been prepared for that, instead of standing there like an idiot. If I'd have known he was going to do that, I would have run off in the opposite direction. I still felt like doing that, weirdly enough. My stomach felt a little queasy and nervous. Like I wanted to throw up, but I wouldn't.

"Why'd he do that?" I asked quietly as Alice climbed back into the car.

"He likes you." She smiled back at me.

"So?" I asked, "Doesn't mean he has to do that." My cheeks held their blush, and I looked down.

"He wanted you to know it." Rose said as she pulled away from the curb.

"He could have just said so." I cringed, shaking my head.

"Well, it was cute." Alice chirped excitedly, "I think it's nice that you have a friend. You two are definitely cute together."

I frowned, unable to understand, "How is standing beside each other meant to be cute?"

"That's not what she means, Leandra." Rose laughed a little, finally leaving the school.

"Then what does she mean?" I asked in response.

"You'll understand some day." Alice giggled, and I sighed. I hated being told that, "So I heard what you said about Carlisle."

"It's true." I replied, nodding. I knew she probably had. I wasn't embarrassed to admit it.

"You really think he's better than your dad?" Rose asked curiously.

"Yeah." I said incredulously, "I have so many reasons to." I paused, trying to find the right words, "I'm not sure if it makes sense, but he makes it easy to breathe." They were quiet, and I watched Alice look to Rosalie, "Like.. When I'm around him, I don't have to be afraid. Of anything, because I know he wouldn't let anything get to me. When I'm on my own, like at school, I always worry. So much, but when I see him again, it's like I can breathe again. Like I can just stop worrying so much."

"It makes sense, Leandra." Rose assured me.

"Not only that," I said, my eyes out the window, "He just gives me so many reasons to look up to him. He's smart, he's nice to _everyone _he meets. Why can't I be like that?"

"You're still learning, Leandra." Alice offered, "You'll get the hang of it soon."

"I hope so." I mumbled, "I hate it when I disappoint him."

The rest of the ride was silent. It wasn't too long, but I was heavily anticipating being home again. I could hardly sit still. I hadn't been home since I moved back in with my mom, and I realized I'd missed it so much. To see Jasper, and Edward again. To see everybody together, instead of just one at a time.

I'd gotten a gift for Bella, and lifted the box from the backseat along with my backpack as we climbed out. I'd gotten her a dark blue blouse with pastel pink flowers embroidered on it.

When we got in, most of the decorations were already in place. So all there really was for me to do was socialize until Edward brought Bella home. I came running in from the garage, already smiling, knowing they all were in the living room.

"Grr." I laughed, jumping onto Emmett's back. Wrapping my arms around his neck and hanging on as he laughed.

"Terrifying." He told me, looking over his shoulder at me, "Seriously. I'm shaking."

"You should be." I replied seriously, "I hear I'm pretty scary." He laughed and pulled me up, over his shoulder until I landed in his arms. Hugging me properly. He squeezed me until groaned, and laughed.

"I still bite, you know." I warned playfully, and he stopped squeezing me, but continued to hold me.

"You wouldn't bite me." He said, "You'd hurt yourself."

"Probably." I allowed, laughing.

"So." He said, narrowing his eyes a little, "Have you been good?"

"You'd know, if you were there." I huffed, pouting a little.

"But I'm asking you." He countered, dodging my accusation, "Have you been good?"

"No." I answered, "But I haven't been bad either. Just lazy." He sighed at that, laughing a little.

"What are we going to do with you?" He shook me a little until I laughed also.

"Get a dog." I suggested, "I bet they do their homework."

"No." He mused, "They eat it." I laughed, struggling down out of his arms, "I missed you, shorty. Seriously." I almost demanded to know why they haven't come by, but before I could, I looked up at Alice by the couch. I took one look at the dress she held up, and all I could think for a second was, 'That's awful small for her.'

Then it hit me.

"Leandra." She called as I dashed upstairs. Scrambling in my haste.

"I might be a girl, but you can't make me look like one!" I called back. I heard Emmett and Jasper's laughter, choosing to ignore it.

"Leandra, you know I can still find you." She called, sounding very mildly frustrated.

"Prove it!"

"You're hiding in the second linen closet nearest the stairs to the third floor."

"Damn."

"Come on." She sighed, outside the door now, "It's not that bad."

"Yes, it is." I countered, "It's horrible."

"If you wear this now, I won't ask you to again the next two times it calls for it." She offered, and that got my attention.

Eventually, she managed to get me out of hiding, and into the dress. I hated it, hated it deeply, and it showed. I let her fix my hair, which gave me time to adjust slightly to what I wore now. She pulled my hair back into french braided pigtails. Pulling it out of my face, and secured tightly. My scowl announced my displeasure at the whole situation as she led me back downstairs.

"She's not happy." Jasper chuckled from the side, helping Rosalie arrange some flowers.

"Tough." Alice grinned back at me, "It's about time she starts acting like a girl."

"Why?" I demanded, "You know I hate this dressy crap."

"She already sounds like one." Emmett gushed, pinching my cheek as I walked passed him. I swung, missing him but making him pull his hand away.

"I don't care. I like dressing like a boy." I huffed, sitting down, "You're the only one who seems to care, Alice."

"Should I remind you about Andrew?" Alice asked smugly, picking up another vase.

"No." I growled, blushing once again. That shut me up.

"Who is Andrew?" Emmett asked, immediately grinning.

"A boy at her school." I pouted as she explained, "He gave her a kiss on the cheek today."

"Oh really?" Emmett asked over the quiet murmur of 'Aww's.

"He lives by my mom's house." I muttered.

"Do I have to bring out the big brother bat so soon?" Emmett asked, and I looked up, seeing he was serious.

"No." I said incredulously, "He didn't do anything wrong. Sure, it bugged me, but he didn't mean anything by it."

"He was letting you know he likes you." Alice explained again, grinning.

"I know, I know." I rolled my eyes.

"Breaking hearts already?" Jasper asked, amused.

"No." I said immediately defensive, "I don't even know what that means."

"It means," Emmett said, sitting beside me on the armrest of the couch, "That you're so pretty, boys fall for you, but you don't like them back."

"Even without all this girly crap." I said, making my point, "And I don't think he fell for me. I've known him forever."

"Really?" Emmett seemed surprised.

"Well.. For about as long as I've been going to this school." I clarified, "I used to ignore him a lot, but I don't know. I just really started talking to him today."

"But you said-"

"He's always talked to me." I explained, looking up at him, "I wouldn't talk back. He used to bug me, but he _always_ sits by me."

"Persistent little guy." Jasper commented, laughing a little.

"He said it was because I looked lonely by myself." I ignored Alice's squeak of endearment, "So he liked to keep me company."

"That has got to be the cutest thing I've ever heard." Alice squealed, clasping her hands in front of her.

"I don't know if it's cute." I mumbled, shrugging, "But he's nice. I don't mind him so much anymore."

Alice startled me, suddenly heading toward the door. I heard her talking to Edward, so I knew they'd come home.

"Upstairs until we're finished." She barked, and Edward's chuckle had me smile a little as well, "Everything has to be perfect."

"Leandra." Esme called my attention, having stayed quiet while I spoke, "Would you like to help?" I looked down, honestly considering it, but I felt like a cat that had just had a leash placed on it for the first time. Stiff and uncomfortable, not moving unless you either take off the leash, or drag it.

"Not really." I admitted sheepishly, "I'd rather just stay stationary." She laughed quietly, nodding.

I looked up as Carlisle made his way downstairs, giving me an apologetic smile.

"I see Alice managed to get a hold of you." He murmured, making his way over to me.

"Unfortunately." I grumbled, looking down at the monstrosity I was wearing. It really wasn't that bad. The dress was a pastel colored blue, thin straps over the shoulders. Darker blue flowers embroidered in a 'Y' shape down the front. It wasn't too tight, or too loose, and it came to just below my knees, but I still hated it.

Carlisle, seeing my discomfort, smiled and laughed a little, "I think you look great."

"Thanks." I muttered, letting help me to my feet. I looked up at him once I was standing, suddenly reminded, "Can I talk to you?"

"Of course." He replied.

I looked down, unsure where to start.

"I want to know why you haven't been staying." I mumbled, gaining Emmett's attention as well, "I mean, I know why, but.." I paused, trying to figure out how to word it.

"You were doing so much better." He explained, "You don't need us there as often."

"Yes, I do." I said immediately, "I just think it isn't fair. I've been doing everything you told me to do, and suddenly, you're not doing what you said you would." I crossed my arms over my chest, looking up at him.

"Leandra, our goal here is to help you become independent, and comfortable in your new home." He sighed, "The more often we stay with you, the less chance there is that the transition will be smooth. We were only there to help you adjust."

"Yeah, but-"

"I know you like having us there, shorty, but trust me. Us being there would only hurt you in the long run." Emmett spoke up, and I sighed, looking to him, "And before you say it, yes. You should still be doing everything you were doing before."

"Why?" I asked, "I don't see the point."

"Because it's the right thing." He answered as if it were obvious, "You were doing so good before."

"Before, I still saw someone everyday." I argued bitterly, "Now I don't. So why bother?"

"Come on, shorty. Don't be like that." Emmett murmured. I was disappointed. Basically just being told that it wouldn't go back to the way it was before. I looked down, and turned, sitting back down on the couch.

As disappointed as I was, I found I couldn't feel it. Before it could overwhelm me, it was covered. At first, I was confused, until I noticed Jasper's eyes on me.

"Not fair." I grumbled, looking back down.

"Sorry, Leandra." Jasper chuckled quietly. I sighed, but accepted his calm. I didn't want to ruin her party with my mood.

"Okay." I said, standing back up, "But will someone still come by? It doesn't have to be every night, but I still like the company."

"For a bit longer." Carlisle allowed, and I nodded.

"I can't stay tonight, can I?"

"Sorry, Leandra." He said, hugging me into his side.

"Mom's working late tonight." I offered, hoping that would change his mind, "I'm sure she won't mind as long as she knows I'm here."

He sighed, looking down at me.

"We'll discuss it after the party, okay?" He asked, and I nodded again, this time smiling a little.

"Okay." Esme finally said, "Looks like we're finished."

Alice stopped to readjust the presents on a table before dashing upstairs. I stayed against his side, my smile fading as I found myself wishing I really didn't have to go home after this. I looked up at Carlisle, and he smiled a little down at me.

I understood that the only reason I was given back to my mother, was because the court ordered me to be. I understood that they didn't have a choice in the matter. That if it were up to Esme and Carlisle, they would have kept me. I comforted myself with the thought that Carlisle would be keeping an eye on me, and my home situation. That if things were to go wrong, he'd save me. He'd be there.

Trying to comfort myself was all I could do. The only option I had. I had no other choice but to accept the way things were now. That's what they were trying to say. It would only be harder on me the more I fought it.

"Smile, sweetheart." Esme told me, smiling sadly.

"It's hard to." I admitted, looking over at her, "I miss you."

"I know." She said quietly, taking my hand and pulling me to her, "Believe me. We miss you too." I looked down before I could start crying again, and took a deep breath, once more accepting Jasper's calm.

I sighed and forced a smile as Bella, Edward and Alice all came back downstairs. Bella looked completely uncomfortable with the whole party idea, but accepted it. I offered her an apologetic smile from the side, which she returned.

I watched patiently as a few pictures were snapped, and a gift was handed to her. As far as I was concerned, I didn't care if she took all night to open her gifts. I wanted to tell her to take her time. Don't rush. The longer she drew this out, the longer I could stay.

Slowly, I allowed myself to step closer, to be more a part of the party instead of a wall flower. Eventually, I was standing beside Bella, curiously looking over her shoulder.

It was when she was opening Esme and Carlisle's gift that things went horribly wrong. She seemed to struggle a little with the wrapping.

'Use your nails.' I thought, smiling a little as Edward looked to me. My smile instantly faded, and I frowned as she gave a quiet yelp of pain, the thin wrapping paper cutting into the skin of her finger. At first, I was worried, because it looked pretty painful.

Suddenly, everything around me tensed.

Everything seemed to happen in slow motion. First, I saw the blood slowly leak from the wound. Second, I remember recalling what I knew about this family. They were vampires, and resisted human blood. Third, I also recalled how it was a constant battle. What would happen if they ever lost that careful control? Carlisle always stressed how I was constantly in danger here. I had a feeling, even before anything happened, that I was about to find out what he meant by that.

That's when everything sped up. I gave a loud yelp as I was lifted around the stomach, and yanked backwards, away from Bella. Far off to the side, far away from where everything was going on. I watched from behind Esme as Bella was shoved rather roughly back by Edward, before he spun and shoved Jasper, seeming more angry than I'd ever seen him as he charged toward Bella, across the room and into Edward's piano, shattering it to splinters when he landed on it. I flinched at the sound it made, whimpering quietly. I watched, wide eyed, as Jasper quickly righted himself, and started for Bella again.

Luckily, Carlisle and Emmett managed to grab a hold of Jasper and restrain him this time. Jasper snarled and fought in their grip, his suddenly black eyes on Bella. I feared for Carlisle and Emmett's safety. I'd never seen any of them act this way, and it scared me. My breathing raced, and my eyes stayed on Jasper.

I looked to Bella, frightened for her also, when I saw that when she'd been shoved back, she'd landed against the far table, glass shattering into her skin and cutting her far worse than the paper had. I trembled behind Esme, taking in the scene with fearful eyes.

Everything seemed to still, Alice attempting to calm Jasper. She only then seemed to notice that Bella's wound was worse now. Much worse.

"Get Jasper out of here." Carlisle said to the group, and the room began to clear. I was nudged over to Carlisle as he helped Bella off the floor. I looked back, seeing that Jasper's eyes were on me this time as he was being dragged from the room, and I quickly scooted to the other side of Carlisle.

The room was suddenly empty, only the three of us occupying it. Bella looked frightened, but not as much as I was. I trembled in fear, now understanding what Carlisle had meant.

I followed the two of them upstairs, not a word from either of them. My hand was balled in the back of Carlisle's shirt, afraid to let go. I knew I was safest with Carlisle, but I couldn't help but glance behind me every so many feet, making sure it was just us.

I was quiet the entire time he stitched her up. I watched from across the room, still trembling as he gently sewed up her skin. They talked, but I tuned it out. I sat in a chair to the side, my legs brought up to my chest. Silently thanking my lucky stars that I had never bled around them. Only Carlisle, but he didn't seem the slightest bit bothered by it, which told me I was still safest with him.

"Carlisle?" I asked when he'd finished. He looked over at me sadly, "I-Is that what you meant? A-All those times?"

"Yes." Carlisle sighed, continuing to clean up. He didn't continue so I slowly stood, and made my way over to him.

"It wasn't anybody's fault." I said. I wasn't sure why I said that, but it felt right. He gave me a tight smile, moving passed me to the trash can. The strong smell of rubbing alcohol and bleach made my nose sting, and I had a feeling it had the same effect on them as well.

I sensed tension between Edward and Bella as he left with her to drive her home. I watched them leave with worried eyes, before looking to Carlisle again. He had the same concern in his eyes, but there was also something else there. Defeat? I wasn't sure what it was that I saw when he looked at me. Sorrow, maybe. Dread.

"I can't stay here tonight, huh?" I asked quietly, and he looked down.

"That probably wouldn't be a good idea, Leandra."

"It's okay." I said, not wanting to be a pain, "Some other time."

Carlisle drove me home himself, not a word from him. I hardly noticed that I still wore the dress. That no longer mattered to me. Though I knew he was deep in thought, I didn't press him. After tonight, I had no doubts he was worried about what I'd witnessed. I didn't want him to stress over me, so I tried to comfort him.

"I won't tell anyone." I told him quietly as he turned onto my mom's street, "Don't worry."

"Thank you, Leandra." He said in response, giving me a smile. There was a tenseness in that smile that worried me.

I went to sleep that night, dreaming of Jasper's angry eyes. I didn't fully understand what happened tonight, but I knew it was nothing good. It worried me enough to sit up in my bed half the night, watching to the window. Hoping someone would come by, and explain. Looking around my dark room, it seemed cold again. Just when it was starting to warm up.

I woke the next morning, just as worried as the night before.

All through school, I avoided Andrew. Too worried to be bothered by him. My mind constantly on what had happened. I almost skipped school entirely, but knew that that wasn't what Carlisle would want.

I came home, hoping for just a phone call. Something to let me know that everything was okay now. Hardly eating at dinner in my disappointment at no phone call, I went to bed early. I didn't want to call, and bother them in what I was sure was a tough time, so I resisted.

The second day during school, Andrew caught on, finding me easily in the classroom at recess.

"How did the birthday party go?" He asked, sitting in the desk beside mine.

"Not so good." I murmured, staring down at the top of the desk.

"Why? Didn't they like what you got them?"

"That's not it." I shook my head, "I'm just worried about my family. Something happened that worried my dad. A lot."

"Try calling him." He suggested.

"He usually calls me." I reasoned, shaking my head, "He'll probably call tonight." I could always hope, I thought.

No missed calls when I went home, so I sat there by the phone all evening. Biting my lip, and nibbling on my thumbnail in anxiousness until I finally went to bed early again. Mom was working late, so I didn't see her that day.

I fell asleep anxiously with the phone resting by my head.

Waking up awhile later, I realized what had woken me. I sat up instantly, smiling at Carlisle as he closed the window behind himself.

"I'm sorry I woke you." He told me, and his tone instantly worried me. It was more tense than it was the last time I'd heard it. Saddened, even.

"What's wrong?" I asked quietly, watching as he sighed and crossed the room.

"Nothing." He replied gently after a moment, "You should go back to sleep."

"But you're finally here." I mumbled, "How is.. Everyone?"

He sighed, glancing down as he slowly sat on the side of the bed, "I won't lie. Not good."

"Oh." I murmured, looking down as well, "Carlisle, it wasn't his fault. You've always told me that it was a very tricky thing."

"I know that." He nodded, "And he knows that, but he does still feel responsible." I didn't know what to say, so I sighed. It was quiet for a minute. I felt his eyes on me, so I looked up.

"What?" I asked quietly. He was looking at me as if there was something he really wanted to say, but couldn't. Whatever it was, though, I somehow knew it was nothing good. Having him so worried made me want to cry.

"You should go back to sleep." He answered, and I frowned.

"Will you stay?" I asked, somehow now uncertain. Somehow, that question didn't seem so far off, and somehow, it seemed that question had more than one meaning. The look in his eyes told me that.

The fact that he didn't answer worried me even more, but I only did as he asked. Laying down on my side, and curling the blanket to myself with a quiet sigh. My hand rested next to my pillow by my head, and I slowly drifted off.

I was in that spot between half-asleep and half-awake when I felt him stand. Hardly moving me at all, or making any sound. I barely felt him smooth my hair a little, and a barely heard his whispered parting words.

"Good night, Leandra."

I woke in the morning to find him gone. I couldn't remember if I'd heard him correctly, or if that was a dream.

I went to school that day, somehow not at all eased by his visit the night before. I was, if possible, more edgy. As if expecting something to happen. The tension couldn't keep going the way it was without me insisting someone talk to me.

Before I'd even set my bag down, I called Carlisle. Asking in a quiet voice how Jasper was today. If things were any better than they were last night. He was quiet for a moment, but I even felt the weight of the silence.

"We're leaving, Leandra." He finally told me, "We're leaving town, and will most likely never return." I never expected to hear those words. I couldn't breathe for a second, dropping my bag to the floor, and sitting numbly in the chair behind me.

Suddenly, it hit me. Last night, before he left. His parting words. He hadn't said good night. He'd said goodbye. The two phrases sounded so similar, but they definitely meant completely different things.

"B-But.. Why?" I asked quietly, breathless.

"I need to ask you to behave yourself." He said, dodging my question, "Give your mother a chance. You belong there with her. Be good for her, okay? Please?"

"C-Carlisle? No. No, wait. You can't leave." I never expected him to leave me. Especially without giving me a chance to say goodbye, "I still need you." My heart was breaking. My voice reflected that.

"No, you don't." He told me firmly, "You've grown up so much, Leandra. Please don't misunderstand. I'm so proud of you." I went to speak, but his voice interrupted, "No. I'm so proud of you, Leandra. You're ready to start moving on now." I looked over as my mom returned home from work, closing the door behind her and tossing her keys on the table beside the door.

"Carlisle, please." I whimpered, "Don't go."

"Be good for your mother." He repeated, and I felt like I couldn't breathe again. Like I couldn't find a breath.

"W-Wait.." I murmured, "C-Carlisle.. No. You-You pro-"

"Take care of yourself, Leandra." I heard nothing but concern in his voice, and I heard the click as he hung up. Silence following.

I sat there, numb for a moment before it hit me. They were leaving me. All of them. I hung up the phone, tears already falling.

"What's wrong?" My mother asked, concern in her voice. Without answering, I forced myself to stand, and jogged out of the room. Down the hall and into my room. Tears rolled down my cheeks as I laid face down on my bed, my heart breaking further.

I denied it. No. He always promised to be there. To never leave me behind.

I thought about what he told me over the phone. Every word replaying in my mind. Over and over again, I found myself dwelling.

He wouldn't. He couldn't just leave town, and never come back. Maybe I'd heard him wrong. Maybe I'd misunderstood. I just knew if I were to make it to their house tonight, it'd be just as bright, and warm as I ever remembered it. They'd still be there, surprised at my misunderstanding.

I cried until midnight, when I slipped out of my window. Unlike the first time, Carlisle wasn't there. He wasn't there to pull me into a hug. I didn't take that as an answer, though. I ran through town, determination fueling me, but when I got to their house, I was crushed to find it dark. Completely dark. Not a hint of anyone, or even anything inside.

I panted, pausing at the bottom of the porch steps, looking up at the dark windows. The lights were _never_ off. Not at night. Tonight, though, they were.

Jogging up the steps, I tried to look through the window. From what I could see, there was no furniture. Just an empty house. Not completely empty, however. It held my memories. All the best memories I had.

They couldn't be gone. They just couldn't. They wouldn't just drop me and leave. The last month I'd been at my mom's, they'd always been there. They'd always helped me in one way or another. They always promised to be there! They wouldn't just leave. They couldn't. Surely, I meant more to them than that.

They'd come home eventually. Of that, I was sure. When they did, I'd hug them so tight. As tight as I could, and beg them never to play a joke like this again.

I turned around, looking around the dark yard. Feeling so lost. Slowly, I caught my breath, unsure what to do. I, at least, needed to rest before going back, so I stepped back. Sliding down the wall beside the door until I landed on my butt.

That was the first night I slept on the porch.

When I woke in the morning, and looked around myself, seeing that they hadn't come home, I cried. I couldn't believe it. They _wouldn't_ just leave. I kept telling myself that, but the empty living room through the window told me otherwise. I refused to believe it, even as the evidence lay right in front of me.

I made excuses, I denied the truth. I stood and tried the doorknob. It was locked, of course. They were just out hunting, I told myself, and changing out furniture at the same time. I'd sit here at night until they came home. I'd lay here at night until they came home. I didn't care how long it took. I wasn't losing my source of support. Not without a fight.

I'd keep their porch warm for them until they came back.

I returned home that afternoon to get something to eat, and prepared to leave again that night. My mom had already left for work, so I assumed she thought I was in school already.

I slipped out my window sometime passed midnight that night, huddled in my coat. It was unseasonably cold that night, and I doubted I would get much sleep. Even as I walked through town, I shivered. My nose burned in the cold, as did my ears. My arms crossed over my chest, trying to hold in just a little bit of body heat.

I made it there, fully hoping the lights would be on tonight. They weren't.

I bit back the tears, settling further on the porch, close by the door once more. That way, I was under the overhang. I'd be protected in case it started to rain. The house still protected me. It still comforted me, even if I couldn't find a way inside.

Two weeks of this routine went by. I never gave up on it. I never skipped a night.

I went to school maybe two days a week, the rest of the time I spent sleeping. Staying up most of the night before falling asleep around 2am. Only to wake around six, and head back home.

I'd see Andrew when I decided to go to school. He seemed really worried about me, witnessing for himself how far downhill I was sliding. I never admitted to him my nightly routine, knowing he'd think I was crazy, and he never asked. Offering a quiet source of support.

The house phone got lots of calls from the school, but I always erased them before mom got home. Mom never noticed me gone at night. At least, if she did, she never asked about it. Letting me do my own thing. She probably thought it was good for the grieving process, instead of the possibility of me going insane.

Even if she had tried to stop me, I wouldn't have responded well to that. I probably would have just gone anyway, and not bothered to come home.

Despite the denial, I felt the heartbreak just under the surface. Once more, I was feeling like the lost kitten. The abandoned puppy. Like I had when Carlisle had to leave me at Mrs. Harrison's house. This time was different, though. There was no promise to return. There was no reason to hope, no reason to hold on. Yet, here I was.

This was where I felt safe, and this was where I'd always go.

Curling into an upright ball, I brought my coat tighter around me, shivering into it as I lowered my head. Burying my eyes in my knees, I prepared to sleep. Spending the last night of September this way.

**A/N: So.. After being repeatedly attacked by a hyper chihuahua, I finally got this out. I like the way this chapter turned out. I know there are still spots that need work, but I don't have the energy to devote to it right now.  
Chapter five is something that's plagued me for days now. I _will_ finish that if it kills me. There is much new in that one****. I haven't decided yet which way I want to go with that one yet, maybe that's why I haven't finished it yet. Worried about the chapters after that, and how much they'll change. There is a _big_ possibility of change, so be prepared for that.  
Anyhoo. My reviewers are beautiful. (: I'll figure out a way to pass out cookies to you guys. Some day. You're all awesome for reading, but the reviewers get the cookies. (;  
Until tomorrow, kids. **


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter Five**

October came, and I grew more into myself. More reserved, kept more to myself. Never speaking at all to anyone but Andrew, and even then, it wasn't much. He seemed to get me more than my mom did.

Even without speaking much to him, he knew I was hurting. Heartbroken, despite my denial.

I had yet to go over to his house, but he didn't pressure me on that. He just stayed the same, caring kid who would ramble about random things when I needed him to.

With how few times I went to school, my grades plummeted. From A's and B's, heading steadily to F's. I didn't care. I didn't try. I saw no reason to. The teacher tried to ask me about it, but I never said a word in response. Eventually, she just stopped trying. The effort wasn't there, and she saw that.

She sent a request home with me to meet with my mom. I tore it up as soon as I left school that day. I knew that wouldn't acheive anything, that she'd just keep trying, but I would worry about that when it came up.

I was also requested to see the school's guidance counselor. I left class, and left school. I didn't need guidance. I needed my family back.

Mid October came, exactly one month after they'd left. I was sure by then, my mom knew how drastically I'd fallen, but she never said a word about it to me. I had no idea what the hell she was thinking, but I returned home that night to find she'd brought a guy home with her.

Immediately, I distrusted him. My mom's taste in men was questionable at the very best. My taste in people was usually spot on. I was hardly ever wrong, so I knew from the very start this asshole couldn't be trusted.

"Leandra," She smiled as I slowly let my bag down off my shoulder, eying the man with trepidation, "This is Keith." He stood from the couch, and the first thing that went through my mind was, 'Jack.'

Same build, same height. About 6'4, maybe 6'5, cleanly shaven. Respectable looking guy. His eyes weren't the same shade of blue. Keith's was more of a grayish color. Without even speaking to him, I left the room. That was her thing. I wouldn't be a part of it. If she wanted a guy, she could have him. I wouldn't stand in her way.

I listened to her apologize to him for my behavior. Explaining that I was "troubled" and eventually, I would come around. He seemed perfectly nice. He really did. All night, I'd heard mom laughing. More of in the school-girl crush kind of way. I just hoped she knew what she was getting herself into.

'Go for it.' I thought as I made my way out my window.

That was the first night I left the house before she went to sleep. Her bedroom light was still on, and I knew what they were up to in there. I gagged a little, closing my window behind me. Grossed out beyond words.

I just couldn't understand it. I thought hard about it that night, shivering on the porch. Why would she bring home a guy, when she knew how I felt about them? Especially given my past, did she honestly think I would ever warm up to him?

Eventually, I figured it out.

"She's crazy." I shook my head in the darkness, sighing heavily. She had to be out of her mind. I already saw it ending badly. I was ten, and I saw that.

I began to doubt myself then. Maybe this guy was different. Maybe he was different. Maybe she'd chosen carefully.

However, the longer he was there, slowly but steadily moving his things into the house, I knew mom was taking things way too fast. Every time I'd see him, even on days I skipped school, he always had a kind word, or smile to offer me.

My distrust quickly turned to hatred, but I kept my mouth shut.

Something about him didn't sit right with me. He was home every time I came home, usually without mom home. He left me alone every time, doing nothing but chuckling at the way I'd scoot from the room, but the way he watched me creeped me out.

Like he was waiting to see something he was looking for. Probably waiting for me to come to him. To make the effort to like him. That seemed like a completely normal thing to do. Especially when dealing with a kid with my issues, but this was different. It was hard to explain, and I definitely didn't want to figure it out.

Until one day, about a week and a half after I first met him, he called me into my mom's room. I ignored him at first, but then worried he'd come to me, so eventually, I stood up.

"What?" I asked, poking my head into the door. That was the first word I'd ever spoken to him, so he probably thought he did something right. He patted the bed beside him, and I waited. I couldn't help noticing what he had been doing. My heart pounded uncomfortably. He'd just finished cleaning a small hand gun, as the supplies were still out, and the reassembled gun sat on the bedside table.

"I've noticed that you and I have yet to have a good chat." He said, smiling and standing from where he sat.

I retreated quickly as he made his way toward the door, stepping passed me and heading up the hall. I watched him, glancing back into the bedroom at the gun sitting harmlessly on the table before following him into the kitchen, "And?" I asked quietly, unsure.

"So I'd like to get to know you." He smiled at me, pulling some ice cream from the freezer.

"Why?" I stepped into the kitchen, but just barely. He gestured that I sit at the small table, so slowly, I did. I kept my eyes on him as he scooped some of the ice cream into a bowl.

"Want some?" He asked, looking back at me.

"No thanks." I admitted, shaking my head. He just shrugged, shaking his head. He was quiet as he put the ice cream away, taking the bowl to the table.

"So anyway." He continued, "I really like your mom."

"I can tell."

"She's been telling me how you and I need to start getting along better, if the relationship is going to go anywhere." I was surprised, to say the least, when he told me that. I was surprised that my mom actually thought of me before getting too deep into this thing with him.

"So here's how it's going to go." Immediate hatred flooded me again at his tone. I realized now what I was facing. He was a control freak, "You're going to tell your mom that we had a wonderful talk. Oh, you love me. Can't wait for me to marry her."

Jack had his controlling side, but this was different. I could instantly tell that controlling people was his thing. Jack's thing was beating me. That's what he did. Keith's thing was obviously forcing people to let him have his way.

I narrowed my eyes, not liking the way he thought he could talk to me. I snorted.

"Right. Next option."

"It's either that, or you get shipped off to some school in Tahiti, or some institution." He chuckled, "Your choice."

"Good luck getting me to go." I growled, watching as he sat across from me.

"I have my ways, you little nutcase."

"Excuse me?" I demanded.

"Your mom tells me you have lots of problems." He clarified, "_So_ many issues. Maybe _here_ isn't the best place for you, darling." His condescending tone grated on my nerves, "I'm positive you'll do so much better in a place with medication, and nice doctors to watch you all the time."

"My mom would-"

"Your mom doesn't know about you leaving at night." He told me, and my heart sank, "At least, not yet. All she knows, is you're struggling pretty hard in school. Poor little thing." I glared his way, tense in my chair, "Your grades are horrible, and so is your attendance. She hasn't asked you about it yet, but trust me. She's _deeply_ concerned. She knows you're not doing well, and she's looking for _any_ suggestions that might help you. All it would take is.. A little knowledge being brought forth, and a teeny-tiny little suggestion. I could conveniently notice your absence, and panic. I wouldn't mind calling the cops on your ass. They'd catch you, and it'd be off to the nuthouse with you."

"You can't bully me." I growled, forcing myself to stand, "I know all about your kind."

"And I know about you." He countered, nodding to me, "She told me about Jack-"

"Don't bring him up." I snapped, and he grinned. He knew exactly which buttons to press, obviously. That was why he watched me so closely. That was what he was watching for.

"Look." He chuckled, standing, "We'll get along just fine, if you do whatever I tell you to do. Keep leaving at night. You could be a prostitute for all I care. I don't give a shit what you do, but you stay out of my way, and I'll stay out of yours." I glared heatedly at him, "As long as you tell your mommy that you adore me. It's not so hard."

"Go to hell." I growled, "I'm not afraid of you."

"One thing you need to realize," He said before I left the kitchen, "Is your mom is very happy with me. I think you've noticed. A little bit of extra income here and there secures your position in the home. And of course, I'm such a good guy, it ups her reputation with your social worker. Not even a speeding ticket." His tone had darkened, and I glared forward, listening him stand from the table, "You're going to tell her you like me. Trust me." I flinched forward, away from his hand as he cleared my hair from my neck. I spun, glaring up at him.

"You're not the first asshole I've dealt with." I shot back, "I've survived worse than you."

"Yes." He said, "I know. Jack was stupid. Arrogant. Nothing around here," He gestured around the house, "Is going to change. Nothing, except your attitude."

"Good luck with that one." I countered, "Really." He studied me close for a second, a smile coming to his face.

"You'll do it." He finally nodded, "Trust me. You'll do it."

"You can just go fuck yourself." I growled. I left the room, listening to his chuckle from the kitchen.

"Do it, Leandra." I heard him call, "And there won't be any problems."

I cried over Carlisle that night. Needing him now more than I thought he could ever know. He thought I was ready to face things on my own? He was either lying to me, or to himself. I couldn't tell. I needed his advice, his comforting words. I needed him to tell me that everything would be okay, and that he was there for me.

I was scared, and I was alone. Two things he'd promised I never had to be again. He'd promised that I didn't have to feel this way, that everything would be okay. If only he could see, he'd know that I wasn't ready to be on my own. I wasn't ready to live without them, and I doubted I ever would be. I needed him there. I needed all of them there.

Sobbing breathlessly most of the night, I honestly didn't know whether I should leave again or not. I wanted to, but I was afraid. I wouldn't have doubted that he was right about my mom. He seemed too confident to be bluffing.

I only wound up falling asleep on my bed. Having cried myself to sleep.

After finding out about Keith, his smiles and glances grew a whole new meaning. Despite how much I hated him, though, I couldn't let my mom down like that. He wasn't wrong when he said that she was happy. He hadn't gotten her to drink again, so that was at least a plus. She'd gush over him whenever she'd mention him. I couldn't bring myself to squash that, no matter how shitty her boyfriend was.

She'd ask how I liked him, of course, and I'd always tell her I wasn't sure.

October passed. November started.

I started disappearing every night again, even as the nights grew colder. I didn't care, though. The house was cold, dark every time. No sign that anyone had been home. I'd sit up, awake on the porch until I finally fell asleep huddled against the front door. Curling up on my side, my face toward the yard.

It was the explanation of my "unexplained" colds. I was making myself sick, both metaphorically and literally. Watching, waiting for their return.

My determination began to fade the longer my nightly routine carried on. They'd never been gone this long before. I slowly grew closer and closer to facing the truth. I sat up one night, shivering in my coat as I watched the snow fall, and it finally hit me. They weren't coming back.

The crushing realization finally broke through to me, worse than before. Chipping away at my denial until there wasn't much left of it. I cried again as this happened. The first time I sat on their porch and cried. Normally, being here comforted me. It helped me feel just a little better. Tonight, however, I cried. Curling tighter into a warmth-preserving ball, I buried my face in my knees and cried.

My denial had faded, but I would stay. I wouldn't give up on them. I needed them too much. I needed them, and I needed hope. Just a shred of hope to keep me from finding the entirety of my life to mean nothing.

Keith grew nearly intolerable.

Every time he'd see me, he'd chuckle, and softly mutter, "Tell her." He knew how to pressure someone. That was for sure. I wondered how long I had left at home.

His pressure increased. Until one day, I grew tired of it.

"I won't!" I shouted at him.

"It's only a matter of time, Leandra." He sighed, meeting my eyes.

"Or I could just tell my mom all about your worthless threats." I countered, crossing my arms over my chest. He studied me for a moment, his piercing gaze unwavering. Eventually, he looked down.

"Fair enough." He murmured, looking to the magazine in his hands. I thought I'd won, but I knew better than to expect it to last.

It turned out, I was right. The next night, I disappeared, and I was found by the cops at 5:30am. Taken to the police station to wait for my mom to come and pick me up.

"What were you doing way out there, honey?" I was asked that multiple times as I sat there, slouched on the wooden bench by the door. My gaze on the floor. Each time that question was asked, it was answered with silence.

Luckily, Charlie hadn't seen me. He would know exactly why it was I was found where I was. He'd know I'd lost my mind. Unfortunately, Keith had come along to pick me up. His smile was smug, and I wanted to hit him. He knew what he was doing. I had to give him that.

"Leandra. Thank goodness you're okay." Mom sighed, pulling me to her. I glared toward Keith, and he just smiled back at me.

"Yes." Keith spoke, "I'm glad you're okay. We were so very worried, Leandra." My mom looked at him and sighed. Relieved.

"Where was she found?" My mom asked, turning to the cop.

"She was picked up way out at the Cullen's old place." He answered, standing. I looked down as my mom sighed again, this time disappointed and looked to me, "She's free to go any time. Just.." He looked to me, "Try to stay home, honey."

"I'm not your damn honey." I growled, kicking the leg of the bench.

"That's enough of that, Leandra." My mom corrected sternly, "Thank you." She said to the cop, taking firm hold of my shoulder and leading me toward the door, "I'm just glad you noticed her missing." She said, looking to Keith on our way to the car, her arm around me, "Thank you, Keith."

He gave her a smile, and my eyes narrowed.

"Let's get her home." He said, gently taking her hand, "I'm sure she's very tired after her long night." I looked at their connected hands, hating the sight. I still didn't say a word, though. I kept my mouth shut, despite how bitter I felt at that moment.

Seated in the backseat, my glare stayed out the window.

"I just want to know." My mom sighed, trying for the hundredth time, "Why were you out there? There's nobody there." Thanks mom, I thought bitterly, for the painful reminder. I stayed quiet, "And young lady, if you don't start going to school, I'm not going to be so happy with you."

"Good." I grumbled quietly.

"What was that?" She asked, obviously having heard what I said. I was quiet again, listening to her sigh frustratedly and turn forward again.

"I don't know what I'm going to do with her." My mom looked to Keith, talking to him as if I weren't sitting right there, "Honestly. I'm.. Running out of options."

I looked back out the window in time to see our street come into view. I didn't want to be here. Why couldn't she just get that?

"I'll talk to her." Keith assured her, "Who knows? Maybe she'll turn around." I looked down as my mom sniffled. Knowing I made her cry somehow bothered me now.

"It's like.. I don't know her." She whimpered, "I want to help her, I do, but I can't if she doesn't let me in."

I climbed out of the car before it had even fully stopped in the drive way, heading straight toward the sidewalk.

"Leandra." My mom called behind me, "Stop. Where are you going?"

"Back." I called back to her, surprised when she caught up to me and managed to grab my arm.

"No, you're not." She told me, wiping left over tears from her cheeks, "Leandra, there is _no_ one there. You need to face that, and you need to get over it."

"Get over it?" I demanded, yanking my arm from her grip. Glancing to Keith as he climbed out of the car as well, "Mom, this is not something I can just get _over_!"

"For Pete's sake, Leandra, stop it!" She finally returned my shout, "They're gone! They left, and they are _not_ coming back! You're going to get yourself straight, young lady. Or so help me-"

"What?" I shouted, "What are _you_ going to do? Not a goddamn thing!"

"Get in the house." She grabbed my arm, pulling me toward the door, "We are not having this discussion here. What would the neighbors think?"

I struggled heavily with her, "God forbid they see what a horrible mom you are!"

She managed to get me through the door, me stumbling along behind her. Refusing to let me go while Keith trailed behind us. Despite the serious look on his face, I knew he was pleased.

I struggled in her hand, but she kept a tight hold. She was actually starting to hurt me, so I did the only thing I could think of. I lunged forward and sank my teeth into her forearm. Biting her harder this time than I had the last time. Her shriek of pain barely registered to me. Keith strode forward and grabbed a tight hold of my hair, pulling me free. He threw me backwards, making me hit the floor near the coffee table.

My mom's shocked gaze met mine, and I looked. Seeing the damage I'd done. Her free hand covered a heavily bleeding wound. Keith stood beside her, his eyes on me as well. I didn't know what to say. It was silent in the room as she slowly uncovered her arm, and looked over the wound briefly before turning her eyes back to me.

"What did he _do_ to you?" She finally asked, her voice hardly above a whisper. I wanted to reply. I even had the words ready, but I couldn't make myself speak. I couldn't say them. They wouldn't come out.

"Go to your room." Keith growled, and at first, I just sat there. Until he took a step toward me, and clapped his hands loudly. I flinched, flying to my feet and racing up the hall.

I had an easy explanation for what I'd done. I felt threatened. Cornered by Keith's hidden threat. She didn't know about it, but the fact that I saw what he was doing scared me. I didn't want to be sent away. I didn't want to be given up on. Despite my words, despite my actions, I didn't want her to give up. She was all I had.

What if the Cullens came back after I was sent away? They'd never know where to find me. If they even wanted to. I didn't know how far away I'd be sent, and I didn't know where I'd end up. I didn't want to go. My mom's tears, though, told me she was coming close to her wits end.

Me not going to school was reflecting badly on her. Getting her into trouble. I knew that, but I just didn't belong there. She didn't understand that. Some people just didn't have what it took to take care of someone like me.

I couldn't control what I did when I felt threatened, though. It wasn't my fault.

The second month, to the day, they were gone, bars were installed over my bedroom windows. I watched, sitting on my bed, as Keith put them up himself. Effectively blocking that escape route. Locking me in my room like an animal.

I guess I earned it, but it still bothered me.

It meant I couldn't leave. I couldn't get back to the place I felt safest. It'd take some serious effort to get through those bars. I could do it, but probably not without hurting myself.

I wouldn't let him bully me. It was difficult to keep that promise to myself, however, because I was so small compared to him. I may have been ten years old, but I was still small compared to where I should have been for my age. I was hardly 3'7. He was 6'4. Way too much bigger than me for me to really do much of anything. I had to try, though.

The very next day, while mom was working, I confronted him.

"You might try to keep me home," I growled, "But I can always find a way out."

"Oh, I'm not done." He assured me, "A security system is going in next week. Open the door then. Or a window. I dare you."

"Happy or not, my mom deserves to know how fucking nuts you are." I tried to spin, trying to leave the room. His hand closed easily around my upper arm, yanking me back to my place. I grunted with the force of it, and looked up at him.

"If you screw this up for me," He threatened quietly, "I swear, you will wish you were never born."

"Every time I look at you," I countered, "I already do." The resulting slap seemed to echo in the living room. I squeezed my eyes shut at the involuntary tears that sprung to my eyes, my cheek stinging painfully. It had been awhile since I felt that pain, and at first, all I could was look up at him. Surprised.

"Try again." He told me quietly. I glared up at him now, a handful of tears escaping. Quiet now, "What? No come back?" Stupidly, I balled my fist and slammed it as hard as I could into his stomach. I knew it wasn't as hard as he could take, but it was effective enough to get me released. He laughed a bit breathlessly as I scrambled from the room.

"Good one." He called after me, and I slammed my bedroom door closed, turning the lock on the knob. My breathing raced as I leaned back against the door. Closing my eyes in my desperation, "It's my turn next."

I collapsed into a crying ball against the door, drawing my knees up to my chest. My thoughts immediately on Carlisle, and how badly I needed him here. How badly I needed him to come back, and see what I was living with again.

Why couldn't he have just stayed? Did his leaving have anything to do with Jasper's behavior on Bella's birthday? Or was it because I begged him to turn me months ago? Was that the reason they just left me here? Suddenly, the reason didn't concern me anymore. What concerned me was that they left at all. When I still needed them so much.

I thought I'd never have to be afraid again, yet here I was. Frightened to tears, with nowhere to escape to.

"Aww." I flinched away from the door at Keith's voice on the other side of it, "Did I hurt your feelings? Open the door, Leandra."

"Go to hell." I replied, my voice thick with emotion as I made my way to my bed.

"Open the door." He commanded again, and I heard the patience leaving his tone.

"You're crazy."

"Last warning." He growled, "Open the fucking door."

"Fuck you." Without warning, the door seemed to explode off of its hinges. I flinched, giving a yelp as the pieces of wood hit the floor.

"There." He said, "Problem solved." I watched him stride in, before managing to duck around him and run from the room.

"Mom is gonna be pissed!" I called behind me as I ran.

"I had to." He reasoned, following leisurely, "You were threatening to kill yourself."

"She'll never believe that." I said, spinning once I reached the living room. Glaring his way. He leaned against the wall across the room from me, raising his eyebrow.

"Are you sure about that, Leandra? You're troubled. You've been having problems adjusting. It seems perfectly rational to me." He replied quietly. My heart pounded in my fear, "Should we pretend you succeeded?" I realized what he was saying. I spun, heading for the front door. Before I could open it fully, his hand slammed against it, shutting it again. He was faster than I thought. He stood right behind me now, and I trembled in my fear.

He didn't say a word at first, keeping his hand pressed firmly against the door. I didn't say a word either, my hand still on the knob. The silent threat this man posed was something I sensed immediately. I recognized it. I felt it in my toes, trembling on the spot.

"You know." He finally said, "You're beginning to prove that you're far more trouble than you're worth." He paused, "It wasn't a problem before, but your behavior has upset your mom now. Now you're messing with _my_ happiness, and see.. I have a problem with that."

I stayed quiet, even as he waited for a response. When none came, he just chuckled.

"You're going to change your behavior. Turn around overnight, just the way you did before."

"I can't." I muttered breathlessly.

"You're going to."

"I _can't_." I told him, "It's not possible." Suddenly, I was turned around and pressed back against the door.

"Well, looks like you're going to do the impossible." He murmured, "Your mom is open to any suggestions at this point. And, well.. If she chooses to keep trying with you, what's to stop you from killing yourself? You're just too far gone to help, sweetheart." He tucked my hair behind my ear, smiling, "Sending you away would only be for your own safety. I'm giving you one last chance. Give up now, and we'll head straight to the hardware store right now for a replacement door, and she never has to know. Continue fighting, and see where it gets you. You leave this house, and it's off to the looney-bin."

Without another word, he dropped his hand.

I hesitated, thinking about my options. I wasn't going to be shackled to this place. I wouldn't give in. I couldn't. I wouldn't let myself. He was asking me to just give up everything I'd fought to build with the Cullens. Self-respect. I had grown up without any, and I wouldn't let it go without a fight.

I eventually sighed and spun quickly, pulling the door open and running out of the house as fast as I could. Up the street, leaving the house behind. I didn't stop running until I'd rounded the block, just out of sight of the house. Only to start crying again. I had to stop eventually, sitting on the curb outside the corner neighbor's fence.

Not wanting the neighbors to start wondering, I only sat there for a few moments. I didn't want to go as far as the Cullen's house. I knew if I wasn't directly around, my mom would only be angry. Where else could I go, though?

It was Sunday, I realized. I had somewhere to go.

I rounded the block, heading up the next street over. Looking on both sides of the street, I kept an eye out for someone familiar. I spotted the gold car in the driveway of a cute little two-story house instead, and I made my way over to it.

I wasn't brave enough to go to the door, so I sat on the curb. It took maybe half an hour before I heard the door behind me open, and I looked back, spotting Andrew coming outside. He smiled, dropping a trash-bag into the trashcan sitting near the garage door, and making his way over to me.

"Hey." He greeted with a small laugh, "What brings you over?"

"I just.." I mumbled as I stood, "I could use some company."

"Oh, well come inside then. You don't have to sit out here by yourself." He reached down, taking my hand. He led me toward the house, "What happened to your cheek?"

"Huh?"

"It's all red." He said. Well, at least it wasn't bruised.

"I was laying on it for awhile." I replied, "It'll go away soon." He led me inside, not replying to what I said. I doubted he believed me. I remembered what I realized about him that day. I'd forgotten it with everything else that had gone on that day, but I remembered now as he led me through the front door, closing the screen door behind us.

Looking around the small entryway, the first word that came to mind was, "Homey."

"Yeah." He replied, laughing a little, "My dad-"

"Andrew." I jumped at a man's call further in the house, "Have you finished the dishes, son?" I looked wide-eyed to Andrew, and he smiled comfortingly at me. He took my hand again, and led me toward where he'd been addressed from.

We rounded a corner into the living room, and a man looked up from the magazine he sat reading. I was nervous, instantly distrusting. My history with men hadn't been the best, and this man seemed to sense that. I could tell immediately that he could see how timid I was. He offered me a small smile, trying to ease my obviously frazzled nerves.

"Oh." He said, "Who is this?"

"Dad, this is Leandra. A friend from school." Andrew replied, "Leandra, this is my dad."

"Nice to meet you." I responded quietly, keeping my distance, watching as he stood. His dark brown hair matched Andrew's, as did his brown eyes. He was kind of short, maybe 5'8, but still built. I eyed him with hesitation, but his gentle smile never faded. It wasn't at all like Keith's smile. His was kind, supportive.

"I didn't know you were having a friend over." His dad chuckled, keeping his eyes on me, "Tell you what. I'll finish the dishes for you." He finally looked to Andrew now, "You kids go upstairs. Let me know if you need anything."

"Thanks, dad." Andrew smiled. With that, he turned, taking my hand again and leading me up the stairs.

"How long do you have here?" Andrew asked, pulling me into what looked like his bedroom.

I looked down, "As long as I want." I admitted, "I'm not going back there any time soon."

"Why?" He asked, suddenly concerned, "What happened?"

"Nothing." I said, sitting on his bed. I sighed heavily, "So.. Your dad seems nice. I thought you made that part up."

"I didn't make it up." Andrew agreed, sitting beside me, "You seem surprised."

"I guess." I mumbled, looking at my hands.

"I've noticed you haven't been going to school." He said, his concerned eyes on me, "I don't mean to pry, but.. What's wrong? Really, Leandra. I'm worried."

I sighed, unsure if I should even bother telling him. I glanced over at him, seeing nothing but genuine concern in his eyes. He was honestly worried about me.

Maybe all I needed was just someone to talk to. That was one of the things I missed so much about my family. The ability to talk, and have someone listen. If there was anyone that would listen, it was him.

"Alright." I sighed again, standing, "You know the Cullens left town."

"I know." He replied, watching me as I paced, "And it hit you hard."

"It did." I admitted, wringing my hands a little, "They were.. Really the only family I've ever known. They'd done so much for me, taking me in when they really didn't have to. They were always there when I needed them. I counted on them to always be there, and now that they're not.." I trailed off, shutting up before I could make myself cry. I swallowed a few times, "Anyway.. Um.." I carefully chose my words, "Something.. Happened at the birthday party, and somehow I think that was what made them leave. I was with my mom, so they didn't think to bring me along." I paused, studying an aquarium on a shelf. I was trying so hard to hide the fact that I was crumbling where I stood, my bravery and rock-solid nerves shaken deeply. Thankfully, all that gave me away was a slightly shaking voice. I held desperately to it, but it was quickly fading.

I took a deep breath before continuing, "It's been two months since they left, and I haven't heard anything from them. Not a phone call, not a letter or even a damn postcard."

"You're hurt because they forgot about you." Andrew murmured in understanding.

"A little." I murmured, "But it's not even so much that. I miss them more each day. I never knew what that saying meant before, but now I do. Every day, it hurts even more. I miss them more than I've ever missed anyone or anything in my life. I need them so much, but.. I have no way to tell them that." I cursed myself quietly when I realized I had tears streaming down my face. Andrew stood and made his way to me, pulling me into a hug.

"You have me." He offered, hoping it would calm me down.

"You can't protect me like they can." I reasoned, a sob leaving me, "It sucks being so alone. I loved them more than anything in my life. Now they're gone, never coming back. They _always_ promised to be there. They swore to me that they'd never leave me unprotected."

"What do you need protecting from?" He asked quietly. I was quiet, unsure how to answer. When I didn't respond, he shook his head, "You don't have to answer that."

"Thank you." I replied, "I just.." I pulled away, looking down, "I need them, but I have no way to find them. It h-hurts that I can't just run to them."

"It's Carlisle you miss most, isn't it?" He asked, "I remember you saying how close you were to him."

I nodded, closing my eyes briefly, "I can't believe he'd just leave me like that. I couldn't even say goodbye." I paused, looking up and meeting his eyes, "They were all I had. They were everything I counted on, and everything I tried to hold onto."

He pulled me into another, tighter hug. To my surprise, actually comforting me. I cried for a few more minutes, both of us just standing there in the middle of his room. It felt nice being able to cry about my family, and have somebody listen, offering a hug when I desperately needed one.

"Is that the only thing wrong, Leandra?" He asked, pulling back.

"No." I said, sniffling. I took a deep breath, "For the passed two months, I've been.." I cut off, unable to admit how crazy I was.

"You've been..?" He prompted gently.

"I've been.. Sort of.. Spending the night on their front porch." I looked down, waiting for his judgmental laugh.

"Leandra," He said after a moment, "That's not safe."

"You don't think I'm crazy?" I asked, surprised as I looked up at him.

"No. I think you're just looking for the comfort you always found in the house." That surprised me, and it showed in my eyes, "I can read people pretty well. You're not crazy, Leandra. I'm just worried about you heading through town at night."

"I've never run into any problems." I assured, "But that's not the problem. My mom's boyfriend, Keith, put bars on my window. So I can't get out at night. I can't go through the front door, because I'd have to walk right passed their bedroom door."

"So he's keeping you there?" He asked, "Leandra, he's probably just trying to keep you safe."

"No." I said immediately, "That's not his intent at all."

"Are you sure?"

"Positive." I said, "He wants to keep me there. Just to be an asshole. All he knows is I leave at night, and that I prefer that place over the house. Any day."

"So you think he's stopping you from leaving, just to keep you from being happy?" Andrew asked, frowning, "Why would he do that? What reason could he possibly have?"

I didn't know how to answer. I looked down. I knew his reasons. He wanted me desperate enough to leave, just so he could make his point and convince my mom to send me away. That shouldn't have been so hard to admit, but it was.

"And another question." He said, "Does going there really make you feel better? Or does it hurt you more? Because if I was in your shoes, I know going there only to find nobody there would hurt me a lot."

"Whose side are you on?" I demanded, narrowing my eyes.

"All I'm saying," He said, defending himself, "Is your mom's boyfriend is probably just looking out for you. That's all."

"Good." I growled, "Then maybe you can be the replacement kid. You can stay there, and I'll keep my freedom, thank you very much. You can live with him." I turned, ready to stride from the room.

"Leandra." He called after me, "Wait." He managed to catch my arm in the hallway, "I didn't mean to make you mad. I'm sorry."

"You don't know what this guy is like." I stressed. He studied me for a moment as if trying to figure me out. Suddenly, he seemed to piece everything together.

"Him. Keith is the one you need protecting from." He murmured, and I realized my mistake, "Leandra, tell my dad. He works for the police department."

Shit.

My heart dropped into my feet. Knowing what that meant. Cops meant attention. Attention meant being taken away, which wouldn't be such a bad thing, had it not meant that I'd be placed with another family. Being placed with another family was just too risky for me. Whether they treat me worse than Keith or Jack, or gave me a safe place to stay like the Cullens did, I wouldn't accept either one.

I turned again, heading down the stairs.

"This was a bad idea." I called back to him as soon as we made our way outside.

"Leandra, don't go." He called in return.

"I'm not starting that stupid process all over again!" I finally shouted back at him, turning on the sidewalk and facing him, "And don't tell him yourself, because I swear-"

"I wouldn't do that." He said, shaking his head, "But Leandra, if he hits you or anything-"

"Stay out of it." I warned, forcibly calming my voice, "Please. I'm fine right where I am. I'm not going to another foster home." I shook my head, defeat in my eyes, "I can't do it. I can't do it, Andrew, please.."

"Okay." He said, raising his hands a little, "Okay. I won't tell anyone if you don't want me to. Just.. Don't go." I continued to hesitate, "Please." I sighed, looking around myself. Calming down a bit, or rather, hiding how scared I was.

"I have to." I said, calmer now, "I should get home anyway. I'll come back, though." He sighed as well, nodding and looking down.

"Okay." He said, "So I'll see you soon, then?"

"Yeah." I nodded, "Don't worry." I wanted to tell him that I've survived someone like Keith before. I wanted to tell him that I knew when to get the hell out, but I figured he didn't need to hear that.

"Leandra?" He called as I went to turn, "If you need someplace to go at night, where you won't be cold but don't want to go home, come here. Okay? My dad won't mind."

"Are you sure?" I asked, surprised.

"Positive." I smiled a little, unable to help it. His generosity never failed to surprise me. I'd never met anyone like him my age before.

"I might just take you up on that offer sometime." I replied, "Thank you."

He returned my smile. It wasn't expecting. It wasn't demanding. It was just a kind, friendly smile.

**A/N: Look! I finished it! :D  
On three and a half hours of sleep, nonetheless! Problem, however. The closer I come to the change, the more I hesitate. Chapter six is now plaguing me. There are so many ways this change could go, but I don't want to take forever and a half to try them all out. That'd just be mean. I could keep it the same, but what fun is that? (;  
Once again, I love my dear reviewers. Awesome, awesome, awesome!  
I'd love to read your thoughts about the chapter, and what you think the change is. That'd make my day, as every review always does. (:  
Until six, beautiful readers. Ta for now.  
**


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter Six**

After a few minutes of gathering my bravery, what was left of it anyway, I carefully stepped inside, hearing him in the kitchen. I tried making no sound, scurrying quickly through the room toward the hallway.

"Welcome home, Leandra." He called after me, letting me know he'd noticed. I grit my teeth and continued on. Through my shattered bedroom door, carefully stepping around the broken pieces. I paused, looking down at the pile of splintered wood. I tried to bite back the anger, but it wasn't working too well. I quickly bent down and lifted a large piece of wood, and threw it as hard as I could up the hall.

"Fucking asshole!" I shouted, my words following the wood up the hall.

"That's not very nice, Leandra." He laughed, pausing to look, unimpressed at the piece of wood as he went to walk by, "Get out here and pick that up."

"Pick it up yourself, prick." I growled, laying on my bed.

"I'm sorry." I heard in the hall, and I instantly jumped back up, "I don't think I heard you right."

"I'm coming, I'm coming." I grumbled, scooting passed him and heading straight for it.

"I'll have you trained yet." He laughed, watching me with arms crossed over his chest, "There might be some hope for you."

"That makes _one_ of us." I retorted, stupidly right when I was within arms reach of him. I grunted as I was suddenly pressed back against the wall. His hand on my neck, holding me painfully near my jaw.

"You just don't _learn_, do you?" He seemed heavily amused, "God, not even Jack beating the snot out of you was enough to make you learn, was it?"

"Go fuck yourself." I growled, not liking the reminder.

"Are you stupid, or something?" He asked, "You really must be as worthless as he says you are." I looked down, the words hitting me just as hard as they used to. I honestly didn't know what to say to that, so I stayed quiet. He laughed, shaking me a little, "What? No wise reply?"

I continued to stay quiet, so he smiled and nodded. Letting me fall to my feet. I looked toward my room, taking in the sight of what was left of the door. The only way at all he had to explain that was the excuse he told me earlier. He would tell my mom I was trying to kill myself, and she'd believe him. Guaranteed. She wouldn't even bother asking for my story. Not with something like that.

I was helpless. There was nothing I could do anymore. There were no right moves. He'd won, and that was that.

I thought, and I thought. Searched my mind in those few seconds I stood there. The closest thing I could think of to safety, would have been my dad. I would have gladly gone with him now. I would leap at the opportunity. He couldn't legally take me in, though, because he'd given his rights away. I didn't belong to him. I belonged to my mom again, but this was proving not to work.

I was feeling more alone in those seconds than I had yet, and suddenly, it became too much. I felt the tears coming to my eyes, and no matter what, they wouldn't be stopped. I leaned back against the wall, falling to my butt with my knees drawn up, and just cried.

Falling to pieces right there in front of Keith. I didn't care if he saw. I didn't care if the whole world saw. I was in so much pain then, I wondered if there would ever be a time I would feel safe again. That wouldn't be possible. Not until my family came back. That thought alone made my tears fall faster, more intensely.

I didn't want to be sent away. I didn't want to be sent God knows where, never to see anybody again. I'd never see Andrew again. Or my dad. I'd never see my mom, no doubt it'd be too hard for her to see me like that.

I wasn't the perfect kid, and I knew that, but I was also beginning to realize that what I did when I was afraid quickly got me into trouble. It got me into a lot of trouble, which only increased my fear, which only intensified my actions. I was stuck in a rut, a cycle I couldn't get out of, and what I faced when my mom got home was so much bigger than I was.

Nobody understood me like my family did, and I needed them so much.

"Are those tears of defeat?" Keith finally asked, and I turned my eyes up, looking up at him as he stepped closer with a quiet chuckle. I watched him as he squatted in front of me, tears trailing heavily down my cheeks, "For your sake, I sincerely hope they are, dear."

The only response he got was a soft sob, which only made him smile, "Well.." He sighed, "I'm sorry to say that those are a little too late to save you. Once your mom gets home, and sees what I had to do to save you, she's not going to be happy." We both glanced to the shattered remains of my bedroom door.

"So.." He continued as we both looked back to each other, "What do you say? Truce while you're still here?" He seemed to find that funny. I whimpered, struggling to stop crying. I forced myself to my feet, and he did the same. Sniffling roughly, I looked up at him, "Come on. What have you got to lose? You've already lost everything." My lower lip trembled a little, but I bit it. Suddenly angry, I acted without much thought.

With a grunt, I kicked him as hard as I could in the shin. Which both hurt him, and hurt me. To my surprise, though, after his loud shout of pain, he laughed. Swiping for me, I quickly ducked, dodging it.

Why the hell had I done that? I asked myself as I raced toward the living room. What in the world gave me the smallest impression that that was okay? That I could get away with that? What possibly could be going through my mind?

He was faster however, and easily swung me to a stop. Giving me my second rough slap of the day, holding me upright. I knew another one was coming, so I reacted. I was more scared now than I had been with my mom, and I needed to find some way to defend myself. Of course, I bit him.

He shouted louder this time in pain, and I grunted with the effort with which I bit him. Letting all my hatred for what he did, as well as my fear fuel me in biting harder.

I didn't know why I expected that not to meet retaliation, but it did. It really did. He tried to pull me off, but at first, I only bit harder. Nearly biting off a piece of his arm. As it was, I was already tasting a lot of his blood in my mouth, and though I gagged a little, I didn't let go. Then, his grip moved to my jaw, painfully adding pressure until I had no choice but to let go. It was either that, or have him break my jaw.

Yanking me back, he threw me roughly to the floor, and landed a pretty decent kick to my stomach.

"What the fuck is wrong with you?" He shouted down at me as I laid there, struggling for breath. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't take one in. I was starting to get scared, panic making my suffocation worse.

I remembered exactly what it was like not being able to breathe, and I was quickly learning to hate it just as much as I hated being alone. Without waiting for me to take in any air, he pulled me upright by my hair, and turned. He pulled open a door in the hallway, throwing me into it.

I hit the floor of the closet, watching as he slammed the door behind me. Tears of suffocation rolled heavily down my cheeks, and I clenched my eyes shut as I forced myself to calm down enough for just one, minimal breath. My lungs decided to work again after that. They remembered what they were supposed to do, much to my relief. I coughed hard, trembling where I lay.

"You come out of there a second sooner than I let you, you'll be in for much worse than that, you stupid little bitch." He threatened through the door, and I believed him. I was surrounded in darkness, other than the light coming from under the door.

I didn't try escaping when I felt up to it. Not right away.

All I did was crawl to the back of the closet, and curl into a ball. Drawing my knees up to my chest. Watching the light, waiting for it to be interrupted by him stepping in front of it.

I knew he probably wouldn't let me out until my mom got home that night. That was six hours, at least, from then. If she didn't work late. I was stuck in here until then, facing an unknown future yet again.

I whimpered into my hands, knowing this slap would probably bruise. If only a little. Somehow, he'd make it out to be my fault. Maybe part of the struggle to save my life? Same thing with the new bruise I had on my stomach now? Every mark on both of us could be explained away, only making his lie more believable. I was aiding him by acting out.

I sat in there for a good three hours. Just sitting there. Now and then readjusting my hold on my drawn up knees. Thinking hard about my options. I quickly came to the conclusion that I had actually no idea why I was sitting around here waiting for my mom to come home and decide to send me away.

I had nowhere else to go, though. I tried to reason with myself. They'd found me at the Cullen's house, curled up on the porch. They'd know right where to look for me when I returned to it. I was onto something, though. I thought harder, my eyes narrowing in the dark.

Unless, I thought to myself, I wasn't on _that_ porch when they came looking.

The house had multiple layers, and every side had at least one balcony. A place I could hide, if I could somehow find a way to climb up, and get to it. Nobody would ever think to look up. Not expecting a ten year old to be able to climb the way that I could if I was determined enough.

That solved the problem of where I'd go, but how else would I survive? I would need food. And a way to keep warm. I would only have one straight shot out of here. I couldn't go to my room, grab the small stash of money I had, and still make it out. I would be just asking to starve to death if I left here without that, though. I had about sixty bucks stashed away. Enough to survive on for quite some time if I was smart about it.

I would have to be pretty damn fast to make it out of here with that. Unless he was sitting there staring at the door, though, I was pretty sure I could sneak out. If I could be quiet enough to get out, and grab the money, I could still race for the door before he even saw me.

I silently climbed to my feet, hesitating for only a moment. I took hold of the knob, and turned it. Peeking out, I spotted him sitting on the couch, his arm now bandaged. As far as I was concerned, until I couldn't be anymore, I was still in control of my own life.

I had to be. Those in charge of my life had absolutely no idea what in the hell they were doing.

I pushed the door open just enough to squeeze out, carefully controlling my frightened breathing, and keeping my eyes on him. Sitting on the couch, his back to the door. I briefly thought about attempting to knock him out, but then I didn't know how, and my mom would be pissed if I killed him. I didn't give it another thought.

If I got out of here alive, I'd never bite another person. I bargained with myself.

I carefully made my way down the hall, toward my room. Thanking my lucky stars that the hallway was carpeted, so my shoes made no noise. As soon as I was in my room, I quickly ducked down and crawled halfway under my bed. Reaching for the sock that held the small amount of cash I'd need to keep myself alive. I'd carelessly thrown it under the bed the last time I'd had it out, and it had rolled toward the wall. In the far corner of the bed.

I grunted quietly in pain as I had to stretch, and my aching stomach protested. Wiggling just a little further under the bed, my fingertips just managed to reach it.

Just as I pulled it to me, though, the light in my bedroom turned on. The breath in my lungs turned to concrete, and I froze, waiting.

"Well." He said, "You lasted longer than I thought you would. For a second, I was beginning to think you'd given up." I took a deep breath, knowing I had to make it out of here soon, or he was going to grow bored of playing games.

In one quick burst, I threw myself out from under the bed, and around him. Headed for the door. Trying to dodge his grabs for me at the same time, I stumbled. Stepping on one shard of wood, it propped up, and managed to stab me in the side of the other leg.

Though it hurt, I couldn't wait. I ignored Keith's laughter, and pulled it out quickly before continuing on. Trailing blood through the house as I listened to him following behind me. My sock of money still clutched tightly in my small hand, I ran for my life this time.

I knew he probably wouldn't kill me on purpose, that he was just trying to scare me, but he could easily kill me on accident. Not only that, but if I waited around for my mom to send me away, my life would be over. I had to get away. There was no doubt about it. This was it. I wasn't coming back.

I made it to the front door a second before he did, throwing it open with violently trembling hands and throwing myself from the house. Stumbling off the front step, I took off. Straight into the now pouring rain.

He didn't chase me. He let me leave. This time, I didn't stop running to cry. I sobbed as I ran, tears racing down my cheeks as my lungs ached for air. I couldn't come back. I wouldn't be back. I slowed to a quick walk along the long drive, needing to calm down if I was going to have the strength to pull myself up the side of the house.

I knew I wouldn't be bothered by the police until my mom came home. He needed her to see how much of a trouble-maker I was. Letting her find me missing herself would be the most effective way to do that.

I glanced down at my pantleg, taking in how soaked it was in my blood. I knew it wasn't bad enough to kill me. It would stop bleeding eventually, but there was still the risk of infection. I wouldn't be able to use that leg on the climb. Now that I allowed myself to slow, I felt the pain of it.

I broke out into view of the house, taking a deep breath at just the sight of it. I ran again, as much as I could, crossing the smooth drive. I looked up, whimpering as I saw actually no way to climb. The side of the house was made of nothing but smooth wood. Even if I had the proper shoes, I wouldn't be able to hold on. The balcony I was thinking of had a railing. If only I could somehow find a way to get to the railing, I could climb over that easily.

I needed some sort of ladder, or rope. Or a log. But once I was up there, how would I move the log to keep anyone from suspecting I was up there? Damn it all.

I thought harder. I was desperate enough to do anything, but there was nothing I could do. I really didn't think this out, I was quickly beginning to realize.

Maybe if I used a small enough log. Just barely long enough. There had to be one out there in the trees.

An hour and a half of searching later, I stood the log up along the house. It was sturdy enough to hold me, but light enough to lift. I wiped my hands on my jeans, bit the sock to hold onto it, and prepared myself to scale the log.

It was much, much harder than I thought. With nothing to secure the log, I couldn't pull back on it without it falling. I fell more times that I could count, only succeeding in getting almost half way up the log, and scraping up my hands along the rough bark.

The sun had started to set by then, and the last time I wound up on my butt, I growled in frustration. My leg was throbbing painfully, but I had yet to look at it.

Maybe the log wasn't sloped enough. I stood back up, readusted the log. What I lost in height, I gained stablility. I tried again. This time, I managed to get passed halfway, but fell back down when I reached roughly for the edge of the balcony. This fall hurt more, tearing up my elbows and knees. Though I was covered head to toe in new bruises, I wouldn't let myself give up.

"Come on." I nearly cried in desperation, "Just a little further. Please. Let me get it this time." I paused, turning at the sound of a car approaching, and I knew by the sound of it that it wasn't my family. I knew it was my mom's car, and coming fast.

My desperation exploded, and I cried this time. I forced myself up the log, and my fingertips barely managed to grip onto the balcony when I lost my grip on the log with my feet. I held on for all that I was. I didn't have time to readjust my grip. I just kicked my legs, hoping to gain a few inches. I slipped thanks to the blood on my hands, nearly falling, but I caught myself. My fingers finding a crevice between two planks of wood the balcony was made of. Panting heavily, I grunted loudly and with a final burst of energy, I clawed my way under the railing, and up onto the wood.

Just as she pulled out in front of the house, I'd just pulled the log up behind me. Laying it flat on the deck so no one would see it. I took in deep breaths, trying to catch my breath and stay quiet at the same time. Curled in the corner beside the door, I listened to her climb out of the car.

"I doubt she's here, Gina." I flinched at Keith's voice, not having anticipated it.

"I want to check _everywhere_." She replied, and to my surprise, she didn't sound mad, "God, she has to be so scared."

"She wouldn't come back here. Not if she was found here before." Keith reasoned, and I listened to him climb out of the car as well, "She's insane, not stupid."

"Stop saying that." My mom instantly corrected, "I appreciate your concern, Keith. I do. But she's _my_ daughter. She is the way she is, and I wouldn't trade her for the world."

'Go mom.' I thought to myself, smiling a little.

"If I decide to send her to the facility in Tacoma, it will be my decision. Not yours." My smile instantly faded, "And it definitely will not be an easy decision."

"We've already tried everything else, Gina." Keith sighed, his tone trying to reason with her, "She's too far gone to help."

"But.." My mom's voice, which sounded so sure just seconds before, sounded hesitant now, "I can't give up on her."

"Don't think of it as giving up on her." He corrected gently, "Think of it as coming through for her. She _needs_ help, Gina. The kind of help no amount of love will give her."

"She showed so much promise before." She argued half heartedly.

"Losing this family must have been the last straw." He pointed out, and the fact that she didn't reply had me close my eyes and lower my head into my knees.

"Maybe you're right." She finally spoke, "But first things first. We have to find her."

"She isn't here." Keith agreed, "Let's try the bus station again, and if she's not there, we'll go home, and let the police handle it." Their voices ended as they climbed back into the car, and drove away.

Police? Shit. There went seeing Andrew again. I couldn't go back to school. They'd find me there. I'd have to be incredibly careful when going into town for food, or whatever else I needed. I'd be able to pull this off, if I was careful.

The balcony was more covered than the porch was, so I knew I'd have even more shelter than before. Now, at least, animals couldn't get to me. I was safe here tonight, but there was the matter of the cold.

I'd left without a jacket. Only my money sock, but that wouldn't keep me warm. That didn't change my mind about staying right where I was, though. I couldn't make myself move. Even if I wanted to, I wouldn't. This was my home. They'd have to come and drag me away from it again. I'd always come back, though. Always.

Even if they weren't there, even if I couldn't even get inside, this would always be my home. For as long as it stood, I knew they were real. They'd helped me more than anyone had ever helped me. What they meant to me couldn't be explained in words.

It grew colder the further night closed over me. I thought about Andrew's offer as I huddled into myself, listening to the night animals begin their nightly routine. Though I wanted to take him up on it, as I shivered roughly in the cold, I didn't want to leave. Leaving during the night, potentially missing their homecoming hurt even to think about. Despite realizing the truth, I still held hope. I refused to fully believe that they would never come back.

I needed the hope too much.

I barely slept that night, too cold to even uncurl a fraction of an inch. I shivered constantly, whimpering when a particularly rough shiver would roll through me. I gave up on sleep as dawn slowly approached. Staring toward the drive, hoping just to see a hint of them.

I was cold and hungry, which was the only reason I stood sometime after the sun had risen. My leg hurt even worse today, but I couldn't make myself look at it. All I knew, was that it hurt to even put pressure on it, so getting back down was going to be tricky. But it had stopped bleeding, so that was a plus. Looking around the yard below. I didn't want to climb down, and not be able to get back up either. This was safety, but I needed something to eat.

I felt slightly cornered where I was, but I knew I had enough time to figure out what to do. I could take my time. I just needed to sit back, and take a breath. Think without the heavy pressure on me. I'd figure out a way.

I sighed, stepping back until my back hit the door. I leaned against it, and slid down. Much like I always did. I was intending to sit curled against the door.

I'd slid down too fast, though, and my elbow hit the lever door knob. Suddenly, the door behind me wasn't there anymore, and I went tumbling backwards with a quiet, startled yelp.

My elbow really hurt, but as I opened my eyes and realized I was now inside, the pain was forgotten. I scrambled to my hands and knees, looking around. The door behind me still open, I almost laughed with how simple it was. Thrilled at the simple fact that the door opened. It was simple, but it was so huge to me.

They'd locked all the ground level doors, but this one was left unlocked.

A grin came to my face. Happiness exploded in my stomach, and I let out a quiet yell of joy. This solved my shelter problems, _and_ my warmth problems. As well as the issue of getting up and down to the balcony. I was _safe_ again. As long as nobody knew I was here, as long as I was careful, I was _safe_. I didn't have to go home and suffer. I didn't have to be sent away just to live.

I crawled forward, and gently kicked the door closed. Loving the feeling of the carpet under my hands, I cried again. This time in relief. Kneeled there on the floor, I cried. In relief, and in happiness. My head hanging as I cried, but the smile never left my face.

I only allowed myself a few moments to cry, though. I quickly stood up and left the room. I had to see what I had to work with. I had to see what, if anything, was left behind. I went through, doing inventory.

There was very little furniture left in the house, but there was some. A few beds, and a chair here or there. A handful of blankets in the upstairs linen closet. Fucking _score_, I thought to myself. As a test, I tried a light switch. It didn't work, but I figured I'd deal. The house was insulated well enough to keep the cold from effecting me too badly. I was sure of that.

And if I got too cold during the night, I could light a small fire in the fireplace. I just had to make sure it was out long before morning. I could do that.

Looking around myself in the living room, I sighed deeply.

But again, I had to be careful. I couldn't leave any evidence that I was here where anyone could see it from the windows. I knew after long enough of me missing, they'd come back here to search. I just hoped my family didn't decide to sell the house while I was still here. Otherwise, it'd be back out on my butt.

Not being seen would be acheived easily by choosing a room upstairs. I limped back upstairs, wincing as my leg protested. I paused, deciding to at least get a look at it while I had daylight. I stopped in the upstairs bathroom and sat on the edge of the tub. I winced as I raised my pantleg, the dried blood making it painful to do so.

Immediately, I knew it was infected. The redness, and swelling around the silver-dollar sized wound told me that it was. I cursed quietly, gently touching the skin around it, knowing it was deeper than it looked.

I looked around myself in the bathroom, doubting heavily there was anything there I could use to clean it. I checked the medicine cabinet, not finding anything but dust. Maybe in Carlisle's office, there would be left over medical supplies.

It didn't hurt to check. It did, but I chose not to dwell on it. I crossed the hall, and walked in. Trying to ignore how empty it looked. I only found a ten pack of alcohol pads on one of the upper shelves. That'd have to work. I sighed and left the room, closing the door behind me, but I paused in the hallway. I looked to my dirty jeans. Cleaning the wound wouldn't do any good with my dirty clothes. It'd just stay infected.

If I knew Alice, she wouldn't take every article of clothing she owned. I hadn't checked her room yet, but I knew for a fact she wouldn't mind if I put some of her old clothes to use.

As it turned out, I was wrong. There was no clothing left in her room, or Rosalie's. Nothing but a bed, though I knew it wasn't needed. A prop, probably.

I was starting to worry about having to go into town for something clean to wear, when I found something in Carlisle and Esme's room. It wasn't Esme's clothing I found, though. There were three shirts of Carlisle's left hanging up, and considering it was the only clean clothing I had to wear, I pulled one down. I wouldn't have any bottoms to wear, but the shirt easily went to my knees, so I wasn't too worried about that. I didn't like it, but I would deal with it. If it meant I didn't die from the infection in my leg.

I cleaned the wound, cursing loudly as I did so. Biting my lip harshly, squeezing my eyes shut at the pain, but I managed to get it, and the skin around it cleaned with one pad. Hopefully, I didn't need more than ten.

I sat there afterwards, realizing just how tired I was. Exhausted, really. Not having slept the night before, I needed to rest before I did anything else. Even the hunger could wait.

Stepping back into Carlisle and Esme's room to retrieve my old clothes, I sighed.

"Screw it." I muttered quietly, climbing onto the bed that still sat there. I didn't even need a blanket, still so much warmer than I was outside. I looked out the window at the surrounding trees, feeling more comforted than I had since they left, and I let my eyes close. Promptly falling to sleep, curled into a ball in the center of the soft mattress.

While I slept, I didn't dream. I wasn't plagued by nightmares of Carlisle leaving. I still missed them, even while I slept, but somehow, being home provided me enough comfort to sleep dream free.

I jerked awake a long while later, and at first, I was disoriented. I was confused, looking around the dark room until I remembered. I smiled again, laying back down. Being relieved once more, I just breathed for a minute. Calming down, but one pressing issue made me open my eyes again. I noticed that it had fallen dark outside. Hours having passed while I slept.

Damn. I'd wasted the entire day. In my still half asleep state, I looked around myself in the dark room again. I didn't want to leave the house, but I had to eat something soon.

I sighed and climbed off the bed, wishing I could look at my leg wound before I pulled on my jeans. I had to get moving though before things closed down for the night. I had no idea how late it was as it was. I ached from my physical activity and the day I'd had, but I had no choice.

I hunted down my sock, and took a deep breath. I made sure to leave a side door unlocked before leaving. I did _not_ want to be stuck outside again. I hated going anywhere at night, but I wasn't willing to go the entire night without anything to eat. Not with having gone the whole day, and whole night before without eating as well. That, and it was better to go at night anyway. Less chance of being spotted by anyone that mattered.

I listened for any noises out in the yard, but I heard none but the normal night sounds. I closed the door quietly behind me, and quickly started at a run toward the drive. Trying hard to ignore the sharp, stabbing pain in my leg with each running step.

I still had no idea how late it was, but I wasn't passed by one car as I ran toward town. I slowed once I reached the first street light, trying to catch my breath. There was a twenty-four hour general store that I had in mind. It was in the middle of town, though.

Right across the street from the police station.

I looked around myself, paranoid that at any second, someone would see me. I practically dove into the store, scaring the hell out of the clerk reading a magazine.

"Jesus, kid." He grumbled, "You scared me."

"Sorry." I mumbled, glancing out the window at the still brightly lit police station. His eyes were on me. Watching me closely. I had a feeling he thought I was going to try and run off with stuff. Either that, or he was wondering what the hell I was doing out so late on my own. Or both. I shook my head.

With that, I got to work. Grabbing a loaf of bread, peanut butter, and some plastic silverware, I quickly found the medical supply aisle. It was scarcely stocked, at best. I sighed and scanned the shelves, trying to figure out what I could use. I knew a normal band-aid wouldn't cover it, so I grabbed a big box of the large ones. Just to offer the wound a little bit of coverage. Antibiotic cream would give me a little bit of a fighting chance. A big pack of baby wipes to clean the rest of the blood and dirt off of me.

I threw it all onto the counter, much to his relief. I looked up, waiting impatiently for him to ring and bag it all up.

"This it for you, kid?" He asked, and I nodded quickly, "Eleven bucks." Not bad. I handed him a twenty, and he gave me change, "Next time, try not to give me a heart attack, would ya?"

"I'll try." I mumbled, grabbing my two grocery bags. I left, glancing to the police station once more before heading quickly back through town.

I thought I'd made it once I reached the highway, almost to the drive, but a car's headlights behind me had me quickly diving into the trees a little earlier than I wanted to. I paused in the shelter of the trees, waiting to see if whatever car it was slowed down. If they slowed down, then for sure it was a cop. If they kept going, then it wasn't. Unfortunately, it slowed. I didn't wait. I turned, running as quickly as I could back in the direction of home.

Unfortunately, getting incredibly muddy and scraping myself quite a bit more before I paused in the trees around the yard. I heard whatever car it was coming up the drive so I raced across the yard, heading straight for the side door. It closed behind me, and I locked it again just as the house was flooded with its headlights through the many windows.

I panted hard, slightly trembling with both pain and exertion.

I stuck to the shadows and darted upstairs. Finding the linen closet, and stashing what I'd bought on a higher shelf, I chose the bathroom window to look out toward the drive, spotting a cop car, and it's driver out checking the trees with his flashlight.

"No, no, no.." I shrunk down, silently pleading with myself. Hoping he'd check the doors, and moved on. Hoping he was just as oblivious to the upstairs doors being unlocked as I was. I heard the door knobs rattled downstairs, holding my breath. Curling myself into an upright ball in the bathtub, "Please, please, please.."

If I was found now, that'd be it. I'd never have another moment of freedom again. I'd never get another chance to come back here. I was so scared in those few moments, hoping beyond anything I was as safe here as I thought I was. Please don't let them be able to come in. If they ever came in to search, maybe getting a locksmith to open the door, I would be found immediately. I wouldn't know where to hide.

After what seemed like an eternity, I heard the unmistakable sound of another car door slam, and looked back. I was half afraid he'd called someone else, but looking up, I peeked out in time to see the cop driving away. Leaving the yard just as dark as before he arrived.

"Yes!" I hissed, dropping back down, and relaxing in the tub in my relief. I had no doubts they'd be back. But for tonight, I was safe. I hoped. I took a few calming breaths in the dark room.

That reminded me. I jumped up, nearly tripping over the side of the tub. I quickly righted myself and jogged back downstairs. Making my way into the garage, I hesitated in the doorway. It was darker in there than in the rest of the house. I was looking for one drawer in particular. It was tough to see anything, but I felt my way along the row of drawers against the far wall.

I pulled open the third drawer from the end, hearing something roll to the front. If this was still here, I would be the luckiest kid in the world. Picking it up, I laughed.

"Yes! Thank you." I whispered, turning on the flashlight and leaving the empty garage.

I quickly changed out of my soaked and now worse torn clothing, back into the shirt and hanging them up to dry, before getting to work with recleaning the wound, and new wounds as well. As a test, I opened the faucet in the sink, and jumped back as water actually came out.

I could live without electricity, but water was needed to survive. I swore, it seemed like they knew. They knew I'd need a place to hide. Too many coincidences to count. I didn't question it, though. I shed the shirt, making sure not to get it wet, and kneeled beside the tub to carefully rinse out the scrapes, and especially the wound on my leg. I didn't want to get the shirt wet, as it was a little chilly already. Not nearly as chilly as outside, however, for which I was incredibly grateful. Without electricity, the only water I had to work with was cold. I wasn't complaining though.

I air dried before tending to my leg. Wiping it again with the alcohol pad, applying the cream carefully, and covering it.

I swallowed a sandwich almost whole, before deciding to try and get more sleep. This time, I did grab a blanket. Tomorrow, I'd rinse out my clothes, and give them the day to dry. I kept everything in the linen closet, already hidden away. Just in case.

Curling into a ball in the middle of Carlisle and Esme's bed once more, I closed my eyes again and quickly drifted back off to sleep.

A week of this routine passed, and with each passing day, I was settling into the routine. I'd stopped by the store again to pick up more bread, and other things. Like soap, both for me and my clothes, extra flashlight batteries, and a little battery operated clock. Using the flashing bank sign in town to set it.

When my leg wound healed, I chose to stop cleaning it so often. It still puzzled me how many things seemed to be right in place, despite the fact that they'd been gone for two and a half months. Maybe Alice tipped them off. Insisting some things stayed where they were.

"Thank you, Alice." I murmured one morning as I lazed in bed.

I was sure they were still searching for me, but I didn't care. I was learning to live on my own, and if I had my way, I'd keep it that way.

Independence, I realized.

Though I was lonely, it was far better than the alternative.

November and half of December passed this way.

I couldn't go into town as much anymore. Not with missing posters plastered up on every street corner. I knew the clerk recognized me, but as of yet, he hadn't said a word to anyone. I learned his name was Alex, and he worked the store three nights a week. Going into town at all, though, was pushing my luck. To conserve food, I only ate once every two days. Which wasn't a problem for me, because I was getting so sick of peanut butter.

That, and my money supply was running dangerously low. I had fifteen left, and I needed to save that for emergencies. I didn't know what I was supposed to do once that ran out. I was ten. No hope of getting a job. Even odd jobs were out of the question, because someone was bound to recognize me, and turn me in.

I briefly considered asking my mom, but then she'd know I was around. That was just asking to be found. I thought about asking my dad, but he'd tell my mom, and it'd end the same way.

I relished in the safety of the house while I still could. I knew once my cash ran out, I'd have to leave. To find somewhere to stay that would provide me with opportunites to eat, but not be recognized. Once my cash ran out, I'd have to move on.

Despite how I'd become independent, it still hurt me to live here. I felt safest here, it was true, but I remembered clearly what it was like to have company. This was their house, first and foremost, and I was incredibly grateful to have had the opportunity to live here while I had, but the truth was, I needed them to come back.

It seemed as if nothing in my life made sense without the Cullens. Nothing was right. Nothing was okay. Everything had just fallen apart right in front of me, and I couldn't pick up the pieces without them shattering further. While living here covered the emotional wounds they left, almost numbing them to a more tolerable level, they weren't healing.

I was okay for right then, but the time would come soon when that wouldn't the case anymore. I dreaded having to leave the house, trying to find some way to survive in the middle of winter. Without any winter weather clothes. Not even a jacket.

I needed them like I needed to breathe. They'd always been there when I needed them the most. I needed Carlisle, and I needed Esme. I needed all of them.

They would come back. They had to. They'd forgotten the one thing that was most important. They'd taken the furniture, most everything in the house, but they'd forgotten the most important thing in their lives. Me.

Keith had been a part of this I hadn't anticipated.

I knew something was bound to go wrong. I'd known it from the moment I learned I'd eventually have to go back to her, but I didn't know then how wrong it'd go. I didn't trust mom with him, and I had a feeling he just wanted someone to control. Well, if he was willing to chase me from the house to achieve that, he'd be willing to do just about anything.

I wondered how she was doing. I wondered if she'd moved on. Written me off as dead, and just forgot about me.

The night of December sixteenth, after my latest purchases and getting ready to sleep, I looked over what money I had left. Four dollars in nickels and dimes. Sitting cross-legged on the bed, I hung my head in sadness. Here I was, at the end of the road. It was comforting while it lasted, but after these supplies were gone, I had to be too.

I bit my lip, looking around the room.

I didn't know where I would go, honestly. Maybe look for a place to stay in Port Angeles, or if I was brave enough, Seattle. Seattle would have more opportunities, but a _lot_ more danger. It would be easy for a kid like me to get lost or hurt in a city that size. The chances of getting hurt was enough to make me lean more toward Port Angeles. It was far enough away that nobody would expect to find me there, yet their crime rate was probably much lower.

It hurt me to think about leaving the house. I definitely didn't want to leave it. Not when it provided everything except a way to eat. I was safe here as long as I stayed. The time was coming, though, when I could no longer stay.

**A/N: This was originally longer, but given the fact that it was wayyy over 8k characters, I _had_ to cut it back. I know you were expecting a much bigger change, and it originally was, but given the fact that I'd already changed a lot in this chapter, I figured I had to stop myself lol  
Chapter seven is quite different as well, but never fear, it'll round back out to the original ending. Maybe a slightly longer one, like last story, but I'll figure that out when the time comes. Okay? Okay. (:  
Right now, however, it's passed two-thirty in the morning, and I'm going to bed. **


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter Seven**

I was in the middle of considering asking my dad again when my attention was taken by the sound of a door opening downstairs. I froze at first, unsure. My heart pounded harshly, my thoughts freezing in their tracks. Could it be them?

I jumped up, running to the window. I only found something concerning, rather than comforting.

Two cop cars sat outside. Snow heavily falling in the headlights shining at the front of the house. How had I not seen them pull up? They hadn't been here in at least two weeks, so what made them come back?

Listening to voices downstairs. I quickly crossed the room, gathering my clothes and scurrying under the bed as silently as I could.

"Come on, John." I heard, "It's probably just a water leak."

"Doubtful." I heard another's reply, "Places like these don't get water leaks. Someone's been using water here, and since nobody is home, I think it's safe to assume she found a way in." My heart pounded as I heard them climbing the stairs. Shit. I didn't even think about them being able to know by looking at the water bill. I whimpered almost silently, scooting back and trying to hide the nearest the wall. I silently rolled over, pulling on my jeans, but leaving the shirt where it was.

I'd have to pass right by them to get out the door. I was trapped. I didn't trust these cops as far as I could throw them, and wanted no part of me vulnerable. I heard them out in the hall, and tried to think. They would for sure find me here if they were looking for any obvious hiding spots. Like under a bed, or in a closet.

I had to try.

Crawling out silently, I slowly tip toed toward the door, peeking out at them having found my stash in the closet. I quickly rounded the door and headed for the third floor.

"Hey!" My heart leapt in fear as one caught sight of me.

I listened to the sound of them following me, and the only direction I had to go, was up. My bare feet made no sound on the carpeted stairs as I pulled myself up them as fast as I could.

I swung around the corner, finding myself in Edward's room. I ran across the room, straight to his balcony door. This one wasn't covered, and this one didn't have a railing. I pulled it open, nearly jumping in my desperation. I stopped myself once I stepped out, my feet sliding a little on the accumulated snow on the smooth wooden ledge.

There was no way I would survive that fall.

A few things happened in the couple of seconds I stood out there. One, I shivered roughly as I was nearly covered instantly in the heavily falling snow. Two, I started to cry. Fearfully trembling there on the ledge. I wasn't about to jump, but I also desperately didn't want to be caught. Three, I felt myself watched. More than just by the two cops hesitating in approaching me.

I felt eyes on me, and for the first time in all the nights I spent there, I felt vulnerable. Open. Exposed as I stood there.

I could hardly see two feet past the headlights in the yard, the darkness beyond them seeming to stretch forever to the trees. I saw nothing in the darkness, but this feeling scared me into fruitlessly trying.

This went beyond some simple nervousness. Tonight, I was truly afraid. A sense of fearful anticipation choked me, making it harder to breathe. Like at any second, my life would end. I'd never felt this way before, so it shook me deeply.

I listened for any normal sound. Any normal nighttime sound, but never heard any. Just the sound of my elevated heart rate, and my nearly panicked breathing.

"Leandra." I didn't look back at the cop's voice, "Leandra, honey, come back inside."

"We've been looking for you for a very long time, sweety." I didn't believe their kind voice. I wasn't buying it. They only wanted one thing, and that was to turn me in. Return me to my mom only to have her send me away.

I scanned the trees, looking for any reason to confirm that I was being watched. Any reason at all to shake off the feeling. Before I could find anything, my arm was gripped almost roughly and I was yanked backwards, pulled from the ledge and back into the room as I was swung around.

I gave a startled shout and instantly began my fight. The cop that held me firmly wrapped his arms around mine, pinning them to my sides. Out of reach of my teeth, so someone must have tipped him off.

Writhing and twisting, I sobbed loudly in my desperation.

"The door!" The cop that held me shouted at his partner over my cries, "Get the door!"

I was wrestled down the stairs, kicking and fighting as hard as I could. I was dragged outside into the snow, and my sobs intensified as I was carried toward one of the waiting cop cars. In one last desperate try, I slammed my head back, finally making contact with something. I was released with a loud shout of pain from the cop behind me, dropped to my bare feet and instantly, I was off running. Barely dodging the other cop's grabs for me.

My feet burned painfully in the cold, but I didn't stop. I ran for all I was worth. Racing toward the drive. Though the back of my head hurt, I knew it was nothing compared to the damage I'd done to the cop.

"Go catch her! Goddammit!" I heard muffled behind me. That only made me push faster. I had to find somewhere else to hide out until I could safely leave town. Chased from this house as well. I was out of places to run.

I had to outsmart them, but somehow, not die of hypothermia during the night. I turned, jumping quickly into the trees. Since I had a headstart, he wouldn't know where I'd gone unless he was looking for my tracks in the light dusting of snow on the drive. I could only hope he wasn't.

Just in case, I found a fallen tree with ferns growing around it. Somehow the snow hadn't reached this area, so no tracks would be left. I jumped over it, and parted the tall ferns away from it, and laid down between the trunk of the fallen tree and the ferns. Just as I thought they would, they covered me.

I laid there for many hours, and by the time morning came, I knew they'd moved on.

I was very nearly too frozen to move by the time I sat up, shivering violently again. I was so cold, I hurt. Everywhere. I couldn't go back. They'd be watching the house now.

I had to get somewhere else, and quick. Somewhere warm to dry off, and warm up, or I'd die out here. I was facing freezing to death now, and I had to think.

With just Carlisle's shirt and my jeans to keep me warm in the snow, I shivered hard as I made my way through the trees. In the direction of town.

I thought as I walked. I remembered what Carlisle told me months ago about what a feral child was. How they went to extremes to avoid someone or something. Would walking through the snowy forest barefooted and without a jacket be considered extreme? Hurting people to get free, and running for my life, even if it meant dying alone in the snow? I just couldn't tell who was good anymore. As far as I was concerned, those cops were only helping my mom. They weren't trying to help me.

Several times, I had to stop. I had to cover my burning toes with my hands. They hurt so much, I couldn't stand it. The pain traveled sharply from my frozen toes, up my legs. Being so intense, and strong that I couldn't find a comparison anywhere in me. I shivered, roughly biting back the sobs of pain.

"You shouldn't be out here." I jumped, yelping as I threw myself forward at the voice behind me. Trying to stand, but my frozen feet wouldn't have that. I spun, my eyes landing on Laurent, the vampire that had stood in our kitchen several months ago. Seeing I was scared, he chuckled a little, "You have no need to be afraid."

"That's not what Rosalie says." I mumbled, keeping my eyes on him.

"Yes, but that was before I decided to change." He explained. His voice was calm, but I knew he wasn't feeling as calm as he let on. His eyes a black color I'd seen before. Before the Cullens left.

"I hope so." I replied meekly, "Because I can't outrun you." He smiled, keeping his distance.

"You shouldn't be out here." He repeated, frowning in confusion, "Why are you?"

"I don't want to be caught." I found myself admitting, "I have no other choice." I shivered roughly as I said that, trembling where I sat. My breath coming in puffs in front of me.

"I saw." He said, "I saw you fight the two other humans last night." I watched, slightly nervously as he shed his jacket, and held it out to me. He lifted it a little when I didn't immediately move forward to take it.

"Here." He said, "Consider it an apology." I still wasn't sure so he laughed a little, moving forward. Hanging it on a low, dry tree branch, and moved back.

I kept my eyes on him as I slowly crawled forward, keeping my deep red toes out of the snow as I reached for it.

"Why do you not want to be caught?" He asked, obviously interested, "Why did you fight to get free? You could die out here." The thick jacket slipped from the branch and landed on my head at first. He'd given me a jacket. The least I could do was answer him. I pulled on the jacket, trying to find the words.

"They'll send me away." I told him, "And I don't want to go. I'm just fine on my own."

"What about your coven?" He asked, and I frowned in confusion, "The family?"

"Oh." I said, "No. Not them. My mom is the one that wants to send me away. She thinks I'm crazy, but I'm not." He seemed to accept that. I took a deep breath, "Can you help me? I need shoes. To get somewhere warm, but I can't go back to the house, because they'll catch me there." He studied me closely for a few seconds.

"Only if you help me." He finally replied, "I want to know what you know about the other human."

"Bella?" I asked quietly, and he nodded once, "I don't know." I admitted sadly, "I don't see her much anymore. Hardly ever in fact. I know she lives in town, though." He looked down in thought, "Why?"

"No reason." He gave me a smile I didn't trust, but I didn't ask, "Only curious." He paused, "So. What do you need me to do?"

I was surprised that he was still willing to help me. Even though I didn't tell him anything about Bella.

"I need to get to the next town without anyone finding me, or losing my toes." I said, "Can you tell me how to do that?" He gave me a small smile, holding up a finger. Suddenly, he was gone. I only had time to shakily stand before he was suddenly back, tossing a pair of smaller hiking boots at my feet, and a brand new pair of wool socks at me. Instinctively, I caught them, amazed.

"Where'd you get these?" I asked, looking up at him.

"I stole them." He chuckled as if it were obvious. Seemed simple enough. I asked no more questions, drying my feet off before pulling the socks over them. Sighing in relief as they began to warm up instantly. The feeling returning to them both painful, and comforting. The boots were too big, but the thickness of the socks made them fit better.

"You need to get to the next town?" He asked, and I nodded, "Without detection?" I nodded again, "There is no way physically possible for you to acheive that. I would have to carry you."

I thought hard about it.

"Can you carry me without biting me?" I asked timidly.

"Let's hope, shall we?" He answered, striding over and lifting me easily, "Close your eyes." I did so without argument, hardly breathing while he held me. I didn't want to provoke him. I almost couldn't believe my luck. I knew at any second, he could end my life, but he was helping me. The more breaths I took, the longer my heart beat, I slowly began to believe that he was helping me. Though I was scared, he only held me securely.

Suddenly, I was on my feet again, and I opened my eyes. We were in an alleyway, the street easily seen from where we were. I looked around in amazement, looking to him several feet away. Slightly unsteady, but definitely still alive.

"Thank you." I told him, surprise in my voice, "I appreciate this so much."

"You're welcome." He chuckled tensely, "Take care of yourself, human." Suddenly, he was gone, and I was on my own. Still a little dazed, I slowly stepped from the alley, looking up and down main street Port Angeles. This was doable.

It was colder here, and I shakily zipped up the jacket I still wore. It was huge on me, but I didn't care. It was warmth.

I spent the next week and a half struggling to live. Living on the street was much, much harder than having somewhere warm and safe to go. I was still learning, but if I didn't learn, I didn't eat. By the third day into the week, I was honestly considering just turning myself in. Anything would be better than continuing living this way.

I'd perfected the whole snatch-and-run technique from the little restaurants along the street. The ones that had outdoor eating areas, and those stupid enough to use it. Nobody ever chased me further than a few feet, shaking their heads and sitting back down. Knowing I was too fast for them to catch. I hated doing that, but it was either that, or shoplift. I would avoid doing that for as long as I could. And I was not about to dig through trash cans. There was a limit to what I would do.

For now.

December passed.

The cold was finally starting to get to me. Despite my jacket, it wasn't near thick enough to keep me as warm as I needed it to.

January came with even more cold and rainy weather. I was very sick for the first few weeks, and it wasn't letting up. Sleeping in an alley during the night, I had little to no shelter from the cold rain and snow. Effectively making it worse. Each breath I'd take would rattle quietly in my chest, making it very difficult to sleep. My stomach and ribs were aching horribly thanks to the coughing fits.

I knew this cold would just get progressively worse until it became pneumonia, and I'd probably die from it. I almost laughed with the humor of that thought. I would have if I could breathe properly. After everything I'd been through in my life, it'd be a cold that killed me.

I chose not to consider myself homeless, despite the fact that's very much what I was now. Probably thought dead by my mom, and my dad. The family I'd thought of as my own oblivious to the fact that I suffered. I had no doubts that Carlisle thought I was safe at home. Adjusting just like he told me to do. Not wandering the streets of Port Angeles, soaked from head to toe day in and day out.

I knew I didn't look well. Either health wise, or appearance wise. Given the looks I got from other people as I wandered during the day. Nobody even noticed the obviously struggling ten-year-old, though. Nobody cared enough to see me, but I was used to that. They just kept moving. Getting to where they were going before they could make themselves turn around.

I'd found a new routine, though, so that was a plus. Give at least three blocks between where I'd stolen from the day before for at least a day or so. And I quickly discovered the rules. Stay away from certain alleys, as that's where other homeless lived. Stay away from the bars, and the less pleasant parts of town. Stick to the main streets only.

And the main rule: Trust absolutely no one. The _only_ ones that stopped to ask me if I needed anything were men, and had a price in mind. A price I wasn't willing to pay.

It came to a close call once, but I managed to get away by using my teeth to their full extent, and a well timed swinging fist. I got free, running back to the safety of main street. I wondered how he would explain the brand new bite mark on his cheek to his wife.

Before I fully knew it, January had ended, and February had begun a week ago. It surprised me, because I'd lost track of the days by then. Night and day holding no difference to me anymore. Day or night, it was always a struggle.

I walked along the rainsoaked streets. Sometime passed seven in the evening. Daylight had faded early, giving an almost eerie rainy gloom to the small town. I hated nights like tonight. When the sky couldn't decide whether it wanted to rain or snow.

I coughed hard as I walked, hoping for just a little bit of the fluid in my lungs to come up. It never did. My nose, pinker than it should be in the cold, burned and ran roughly. Another cough left me as I paused at the crosswalk, waiting for traffic to stop so I could cross. I let out a small sob of pain at the ache in my lungs. They hurt so badly, and every breath I took felt like inhaling glass. There was a restaurant I hadn't visited in a few days just up the street, and it was calling my name.

Unfortunately, I had to pass one of the well-used bars to get there. I hated the people that walked in, and left that place. I tended to avoid the place as often as I could, as it was dark out front of it. The streetlight outside the building hadn't worked for as long as I remembered, and that made me nervous.

I bit my lip as I neared it, pausing as three obviously drunk men came out. I didn't even look at them as they stumbled passed me, back in the direction I'd just come. Flattening against the wall to let them pass.

"Hey, kid." This call came from elsewhere, and out of instinct I glanced at the car parked against the curb. I continued on as if he hadn't spoken, until a loud whistle startled me, and I very obviously looked his way, "C'mere for a second." I shook my head and continued on.

God, I thought to myself, just leave me alone. I closed my eyes as I listened to him leave his car. It wasn't often that I got a follower, but I hated it every time. I increased my speed, desperate to get to the lighted part of the sidewalk.

He landed beside me just before I did. I saw the busy street corner just ahead, and I had a feeling he wouldn't pursue me across that street as well.

"Don't bother." I growled, "Keep moving, asshole."

"Well, that's not very nice." I wanted no part of his obviously too-sweet conversational tone. I'd heard it before, and it was useless on me, "I only want to help you."

"Save it." I growled again. Despite my tone, my heart pounded in fear.

"Just stop for a minute, would you?" He grabbed my hand pulling me to a stop on the street corner, "All I'm asking for-"

"I said, no!" I shouted up at him as loud as I could. Gaining a whole lot of attention, which was exactly the effect I was looking for. He immediately released my hand as if I'd burned him, looking around before turning and heading back up the sidewalk. Leaving me be.

"Fucking prick." I growled to myself. By then, most of the on-lookers had continued on their way. I stuffed both of my hands into my jacket pockets, and I shivered as I stood there. I kept my eyes down, staring at the sidewalk in front of me, until something caught my attention out of the corner of my eye. Out of instinct, I looked across the busy street.

A blonde haired man, striding down the sidewalk across the street immediately gained my full attention. Seeming oblivious to the fact that I now stared his way like an idiot. The restaurant forgotten, as was the man I'd just chased off.

My heart leaped for a second, and my breath caught, before I told myself it wasn't him. It couldn't possibly be him. There was no way.

I was too far away to really see his face, but I couldn't stop myself from clumsily reversing my steps, following him back up the sidewalk, back in the direction I'd come. Keeping my eyes on him, trying desperately for just a glimpse of his face. Now and then glancing up and down the street, waiting for the flow of traffic to slow enough for me to cross.

"Change your mind, kid?" My follower asked from his car, but I ignored him, continuing on.

It was darker on that side of the street, and he seemed to stick closest to the buildings, away from the streetlights.

"Carlisle!" I called, knowing my voice wasn't as strong as it normally was. I'd gained a lot of other people's attention, but he didn't stop, or turn. Or even acknowledge that I'd spoken. It was a pretty busy street. Maybe he didn't hear me.

The man never noticed me, or let me know he was aware I was following him. He wore a dark suit, dressed sharply. Much like Carlisle always had. Seeing this man brought emotions forward I didn't want to feel. The way he walked, I recognized. The way he held his shoulders, I recognized. I called again, louder but it hurt my throat. I shoved through groups of people heading the opposite direction as me. Desperately hoping he'd just look my way. Just once. Just so I would see for myself that this wasn't him.

"Move, move." I grumbled, shoving people out of my way, "Dammit, move!" Trying to keep my eyes on him for just a moment longer, but I was falling behind.

I knew this wasn't him, but my heart wouldn't let it go. If I had given up, stopped following him for just one second, I would never rest. I'd always be thinking, 'What if..'

"Please." I called, but I knew that it wouldn't be loud enough. My voice broke, however, with my sudden return of emotion and desperation. It was more of a quiet whimper, a plea for him to turn. To look at me just once.

Finally, the traffic in the street ebbed enough for me to dart across the street, barely managing to hop up on the sidewalk before a car honked my way. I jumped, turning to flip the driver off. When I looked forward again, the blonde haired man was gone.

"W-What.. No." I panted, "No, no, no.."

I whimpered a bit, jogging up the sidewalk toward where I'd seen him last. Looking around frantically, I didn't see even a hint of him. I looked through the shops windows, up and down the alley to my right. Nothing.

Running made me cough, and sniffle. Any type of exertion had the same effect, but especially running. I couldn't help it, though. This man fit Carlisle perfectly, and I couldn't help but need to find him. The longer I searched, looking around, the more I wanted to cry. To fall to pieces right in the middle of the sidewalk.

The movie theater in front of me was lined with people waiting for their show to start. Maybe he was in that group. I walked forward and searched each face for one I recognized, and even their hair color. I cursed quietly, questioning my eye sight when I found no blonde men.

I wouldn't doubt starvation and this fever would play tricks on my eyes. I was hopelessly tired, too, and I was sure that didn't help. Add in the rainy night, and that's just asking to see things that weren't there.

Someone I did recognize, though, was standing in the back of the group, looking down. I spotted Bella. This was the first time I'd seen her since the Cullens left, and boy did she look like shit. Probably not as much as I did, though. She was with two guys, both looked like friends from school.

I gave one last look around me, my heart breaking all over again. I turned on the spot, looking at every single person that walked passed me.

"Please." I whispered to myself.

When I still saw nothing to hint that he was ever there, I had to take a moment. I stepped into the alley. Out of the way, where I could effectively fall to my butt on the rough concrete, and cry.

I hated the way my mind had just tortured me, roughly rubbing my eyes. I hadn't had much of a chance to dwell on missing my family lately. Having just spent a month and a half on my own, struggling to survive, and now I was desperate for them to come back. To see what they left behind. To see what I was forced to endure, just to avoid capture and to stay. To hold onto them the way I wished so hard they would hold onto me.

I was positive this wasn't the way they wanted me to learn independence.

Not like this. Not where I could easily get hurt. Not where I had to be scared just to walk down the street. I sobbed silently into my hands, bringing my legs to my chest. I wanted to give up. I really did, but I wouldn't let myself.

Then I thought about it.

What did I have left to lose? I had no money to my name. I was cold, tired, and hungry. I was alone. I was lonely, scared, and desperate. I had no one. Nothing. Nobody was going to find me here, and my family wouldn't come back for me.

I'd been reduced to living on the street, sleeping in alleyways and stealing food from strangers. Not a clean inch of skin on me, and if I didn't do something soon, I would die that way. I was facing starvation now, and dying of pneumonia, and for what? Why was I putting myself through this? Because I couldn't bear to face life without them.

I felt myself watched again, but that was nothing new. There was always a curious stranger with their eyes on me. Yet not willing to lift a hand to help me. I had no doubts that my little breakdown had gained someone's attention. There was no privacy when someone my age lived the way I lived.

Despite the fact I knew I was being watched, that only made it harder. The night was darker now. I cried harder now, crying for the way it was before. How easy life was before, and how much I'd obviously taken for granted. My sobs echoed softly down the alley, letting me know just how truly desperate and breathless they sounded. How heartbreakingly realistically my pain was evident in the depths of them.

I thought, for just one second, I'd found hope again. Any reason to believe I wouldn't have to be sent away was reason enough to hope. Losing sight of the blonde haired man had just crushed me all over again, and made me see just how desperate I truly was. How very easily I could forget, for just one second, that I was no longer cared for.

Forcing myself to stop crying long enough to breathe, I struggled for what shallow breath I could take. I stood up, looking to Bella still outside the movie theater. Looking down, hardly speaking to her friends to either side of her.

There was one way to solve everything, and I just had to do it. I had to give up. I had to learn to know when enough is enough. And enough _was_ enough. I couldn't take anymore of having to be afraid of everything around me. How each second I spent out here was as dangerous as the last. I couldn't do it anymore. Like standing on the ledge that night. I knew if I were to fall, I wouldn't survive it. Well, I was falling. It was up to me to stop falling.

I whimpered, hating the way I did so, but I gave up. I would go back to living with being smacked around, and locked in closets if it meant I didn't have to struggle anymore. I would let myself be sent away, because I had no reason to stay. They'd moved on. It was stupid of me to keep holding onto them when they weren't holding onto me.

Without another thought, I walked forward. Bella looked up, watching me come forward. Seeming to recognize me instantly, despite how dirty I was.

"My dad has been looking for you for _weeks_, Leandra." She told me, shocked, "How'd you get here?" I didn't answer, and her eyes saddened. A sad sort of understanding. My eyes welled with tears again, and I looked down, "I'm going to call my dad. Let him know you're here." I didn't argue. I didn't run. I didn't shake my head. I sat down.

It hurt me, it bothered me so much to just give up. After all I'd fought for. Like I was losing a part of me by giving up the fight, but I kept telling myself. It was useless to keep it up. I had no reason anymore to keep fighting. Why bother? I listened as she spent thirty seconds talking to her dad, who seemed to be in a rush now. I heard his voice on the other end of the line, telling her _not_ to let me out of her sight. Not for a second.

"Do you want me to stay with you?" Bella asked afterwards, kneeling beside where I sat.

"No." I mumbled, "No, it's okay. Go ahead."

"You're sure?" She asked, "You won't leave?"

"I'm not going anywhere." I shook my head, "It's okay."

Once Charlie got there, everything was pretty confusing. He asked me so many questions on the ride back to Forks, not one of them I answered. I stayed silent, not even shaking my head or nodding. I never acknowledged he spoke. Only able to concentrate on the heat in the car. It felt so nice to finally be warming up after so long being cold.

I was taken to the hospital, to get checked over before I was allowed to go home. My mom met us there, looking exhausted. Pulling me into her arms and sobbing deeply. I didn't hug her back. I hardly looked at her. I did, however, look up at Keith as he trailed in after her. He laughed, shaking his head.

"I never stopped looking for you." My mom said, pulling back and looking at me, "I never gave up. Sweety, where have you been? Why did you leave?" I looked down. Not a word in answer.

After my mom had a very long talk with Charlie, I was taken home with a new bottle of pills to take for the severe chest cold I had. I was surprised they let me go. I was allowed to take a shower, which felt amazing, to be honest. I had yet to fully warm up, though, and crawling into bed without a word felt just as amazing. I wouldn't be going anywhere else. At least not without them having to send me.

My mom sat with me the entire night, and I knew how tired that probably made her, but I couldn't tell her that when I rolled over to look at her the next morning. I looked up at her, and instantly saw the change. I had to point it out. I had to let her know that I saw it, and that required talking.

"Mom." I whimpered, and the fact that I spoke to her seemed to thrill her, "He hits you too."

"No, honey." She tried to deny it, shaking her head and looking down, "No-"

"Yes." I nodded, gently reaching up and touching her cheek. She gave the tell-tale flinch at my fingers, and my eyes welled slightly, "Mom, I'm sorry."

"What?" She asked, looking back up, "Why, honey?"

"I should have warned you." I replied, "I should have said something."

"He hit you?" She asked, shocked.

"That's why I left." I murmured, "I thought.. I saw how you were happy with him. I didn't want to say anything, and ruin your life. He said you were going to send me away. He said.. That you didn't want to deal with me anymore."

"Honey, let me tell you something." I let her pull me onto her lap, wrapping her arms securely around me, "I'm a mother, first and foremost. It's my _job_ to be stronger-willed than you are. You can fight, and you can yell at me all you want. It's not easy, believe me, but I will deal with whatever you're willing to dish out. I told you I wouldn't fail you again, and I meant it. You've been under that impression for all this time?" I looked up at her, surprised at the tears down my cheeks. I nodded a little, and she closed her eyes, pulling me tighter to her side and clearing my hair from my face. Sighing gently, "Honey, no. I'm not sending you anywhere. They would literally have to come here, and take you from me before you went anywhere. Even then, I wouldn't let you go. I would never let you go, honey. Please believe that."

I turned, hugging her with a small sob. She wrapped her arms more securely around me, sighing in what sounded like relief.

"I'm sorry about the fight we had." She told me, "I.. I have no excuse for shouting at you that way. I guess I've just underestimated how much they meant to you."

"I'm sorry I bit you." I mumbled, "But I'm not sorry I bit him."

"Tell me what he did. To make you leave." She requested, pulling back and meeting my eyes.

"I wasn't trying to kill myself." I insisted, "I wasn't. I would never do that. I'm not that stupid. He.. Was being unfair. Trying to boss me around, and I made a comment he didn't like, so he hit me. I hit him back, and ran to my room, and I wouldn't open the door, so he kicked it in. Mom, you can't keep him aro-"

"Shh." She told me, glancing toward the door, pulling me to her again, "He gets.. Pretty upset when I tell him to leave."

"You can't keep him around." I whispered this time, "I can't live with that again." She sighed, looking to the door again, "Please, mom."

"I've told him to leave." She murmured quietly, "All it does is make him upset."

"He's more controlling than Jack was." I pointed out, looking up at her, "I shouldn't have left you alone with him."

"I don't blame you. I haven't blamed you for awhile now." She admitted, "I just wish you would have let me know you were at least safe, but I understand now why you didn't." She sighed, "I just don't know what to do."

"Tell Charlie." I suggested, looking up at her, "He can get him out for you."

Before she could reply, the door opened and I instantly shut my mouth.

"Well." Keith turned, taking in the sight of me on my mom's lap, "I'm glad you finally decided to show back up. To be honest, I thought you were dead." He laughed at that as if it were funny. My mom seemed as uncomfortable with that as I was, "But now that you're back, there are some new rules. You will not be leaving the house. You've missed too much school this year for them to take you back, so now you're stuck here. You're back, now we're being watched again."

Again, I stayed quiet. I bit my lip, looking up at my mom. She smoothed my hair from my face.

"You'll cut that biting shit out." He continued and I looked to him again, "I'm not raising some kind of animal. You're a fucking kid. Act like one."

"You're not raising me." I corrected quietly.

"Oh, are we in for another round?" I closed my eyes, looking down.

"No." I answered quietly, "Sorry."

"Well, that's better." He seemed to approve, "Anyway, yes I am. No one else wants to step up for your worthless ass. Might as well be me." It really was Jack all over again.

"Keith, please-" My mom spoke.

"And you." He barked, making her flinch, "Shouldn't you be at work?"

"I took the day off." She informed him, "I think they understood-"

"I'm sorry." He said, shocked, "Who in the hell told you that was okay?"

"Back off." I barked, hating the way he was bossing her around. I couldn't stand it. If she wouldn't stand up for herself, I would stand up for her, "You're not the one paying her to do her job, so shut the hell up about her schedule."

He seemed amused, which was a good thing. It means I hadn't pissed him off.

"It's been quite some time since I've had someone brave enough to argue with me." He finally said, "Forgive my surprise. I'd almost forgotten how incredibly stupid you are."

"I'm not the one arguing with a ten-year-old." I countered, "And losing."

"Leandra, don't." My mom murmured, "Please."

"Mom." I whispered, looking up at her, "You can't let him get away with hitting you. First chance I get, I'm going to Charlie. He'll set this fucktard straight."

I yelped a little in surprise as my mom suddenly sat me to the side, and stood, standing between Keith and me as he strode forward.

"She didn't mean it." She told him firmly, "She's tired, and hasn't had a chance to adjust yet." Each time he went to step around her, she countered. Eventually he got tired of that, and gripped her roughly by the neck. I kneeled up instantly, glaring his way. He didn't seem to be hurting her, given the fact that she made no sound. Or even bother to struggle.

"You keep that little brat under control." He growled to her, "Do you hear me? You control her, or I will."

"I'm not scared of you." I spat, "Let her go."

"Leandra." She spoke gently, despite how scared I knew she was, "Go into the kitchen. Get something to eat, okay?" I hesitated, watching her, "Please?"

I suddenly felt like my refusing to listen to her was only making it worse. So I sighed, and climbed off the bed. A rough slap to the back of my head, had me glare back at Keith, rubbing it.

Before I even made it to the kitchen, a knock came to the door. I sighed and crossed the room, pulling open the front door.

"Charlie." I murmured, surprised, "Uh.." I glanced back toward the hallway, "Want me to get my mom?"

"Actually, I came to see you." He replied, "Would you mind if I talked to you?"

"No." I answered, "I don't mind." I glanced back once more before stepping outside and closing the door behind me. He seemed confused, but didn't ask.

"Are you feeling any better?"

"A little." I sighed, sitting on the front step, "I'm not starving anymore."

"That's a plus." He chuckled a little, "And you look a whole lot better."

"Yeah." I nodded, "That too."

He was quiet for a moment until he finally sat down beside me, "I came to ask you a question. I only want as honest of an answer as you can give me."

"I'll try." I said, looking over at him.

"What.. Is it about those people that made you run from home?" He seemed honestly baffled, "What is it about them that makes you.. And Bella.. Just.. Forget about everything and stop living?"

"She's having a hard time too, huh?"

"A very hard time." He replied, "And I just can't understand it. Nothing I ever do seems to help."

"She's just hurting." I murmured, looking down, "Them leaving.. Was very sudden. I can only answer for myself. I can't speak for Bella, because she's hurting for a different reason than I am. I.." I paused, sighing, "I had just counted on them to always be there. They'd always promised to be there, and told me I never had to be alone again. That meant a lot to me, and I hung onto it. Then.. They left." He nodded slowly, seeming to understand.

"While you were in Port Angeles, did the change of scenery help?" He asked.

I hesitated, thinking about it, "It did." I admitted, "There was just so much more I had to concentrate on, you know? It was like.. It was easier to breathe without thinking about them every time I turned around and saw something that reminded me of them." I coughed roughly, and he sighed.

"Leandra, why did you run?" I looked up at him, before looking back down.

"I had my reasons." I mumbled, drawing my legs up to my chest. I coughed again, and suddenly the door behind us opened, and Keith stood there.

"What are you doing outside?" He demanded, stepping out and taking my arm, pulling me to my feet, "Get back inside before you get more sick. Are you nuts, kid?" He was in a bad mood now, but he laughed. Trying to ease Charlie who stood as well.

"I agree." Charlie said, "We should take this discussion inside. I'd like a talk with Gina anyway-"

"Oh." Keith said, "She just laid down for a nap. She hasn't felt very well for awhile now." I instantly looked up at him, glaring and starting off toward the hallway.

I paused outside her bedroom door, listening to her cry on the other side of it. I sighed and shook my head. Going in, I comforted her.

A week of this passed. Five months to the day that my family had left, I'd had enough of Keith. Up until that point, it had been hard for me to stay quiet. To watch, and not punch him in the face. I didn't, though. Knowing full well that it would only make it worse on her, because I knew, even then, that she would stand between him and I.

"Mom?" I asked meekly, gently pushing open her bedroom door. I stepped in, "Mom?" She turned from her spot on the bed, looking at me, "Are you okay?" She sniffled roughly and gestured for me to come in. I closed the door behind me before crossing the room and settling on the bed beside her.

"Leandra, baby, I'm so sorry." She cried, and again, I felt horrible. I kneeled up, hugging her. I hated seeing anyone going through what I'd gone through. Especially my own mom. As much as I used to wish she'd feel what I felt, just so she could understand, I hated it now.

"Mom, I hate this." I whispered, and she pulled back, "I need to know now. Can I call Charlie?"

"No, honey." She murmured, shaking her head, "No."

"Mom, I hate seeing you like this." I told her pleadingly, "You can't keep letting him do this to you."

"I-I.." She sighed, shaking her head again.

"You're stronger than this." I found myself saying, and she looked up at me, "You won't have to say anything. I'll tell him myself. Don't let someone like that asshole control you like this." I paused, "Just like Jack. Mom, he's just the same. You _have_ to stand up for yourself. Why not start now?"

That seemed to do it. I'd convinced her. I saw it.

"You have to leave him. Just leave everything behind, and we'll go somewhere else. At least until we can get him out. Please, mom-"

Before I could even get up, though, the bedroom door opened. I knew immediately that Keith had heard me, and I cursed silently.

"Trying to convince her to leave me?" My heart dropped, "Leandra.. That's not very nice." I looked up at my mom, and saw everything I'd told her was just immediately undone. I held her gaze as he strode in and pulled me from her roughly. She went to protest, to stand but he pointed at her, "Sit your ass back down."

The pure threat in his voice floored me. I hadn't heard it quite that threatening before, and instantly, I was afraid. Unbelievably afraid. He was getting worse. The longer he was allowed to do this, the more he did. He wouldn't choose my mom over me this time.

**A/N: Crap! This got long.  
Uhh.. Keeping this short. THANK YOU to my reviewers. You're awesome. Chapter eight will be on its way soon, just as soon as I finish typing it, and editing it. 'Kay? 'Kay! Bye!**


	8. Chapter 8

**ImPORTANT NOTE! ReAD ME!:**** It gets a little violent in this chapter. If you're sensitive to that sort of thing, proceed with caution.  
**

**Chapter Eight**

I was dragged from the room, and up the hall a bit. I knew I was being taken to my room, yet I couldn't struggle. Not at the pace we were going. One hand securely on my upper arm, the other free.

I was shoved through my bedroom door, and he stepped in behind me, closing and locking the door behind him. Pulling his belt free with his other hand.

The sight of it being pulled free was enough to send me scrambling across the room. Instantly terrified. I pulled open the curtain, only to find that the bars were still in place. My heart pounded painfully, and the first step he took had me spin to face him again, crouching in the corner beside the window.

"I'm tired of your attitude." The thick strip of leather sat ominously looped in his hand.

"Keep that thing away from me." I tried to make my voice brave, but it shook, trembling along with the rest of me.

"I'm sorry." He said, "But it's for your own good. You need to learn some respect." He took a step toward me and I was instantly up, standing.

"It's hard to respect a coward." I could see I'd just made it worse, but there was no way I was letting that happen again. He'd have to catch me first. He reached for me and I scurried passed him right for the door. He paused long enough to close the curtains again with a rough yank before starting for me again.

I darted from the room as quickly as I could once I managed to get the door open in my panic, slamming it behind me. I listened to the thud of him behind me, having to take two tries to open the door in his anger.

I raced down the hall, and I suddenly remembered this. This was exactly what happened the night before Carlisle found me. This was exactly the same, except now I knew what my punishment was going to be.

This time, I didn't blame my mom. This time, I could blame no one but myself.

Diving into the closet, I pulled it shut behind me, and holding onto the door knob for all that I was. I'd just successfully cornered myself. Congratulations dumbass, I thought bitterly to myself.

"I won't pull on the door." I flinched at the sound of his voice on the other side of the door, "I won't. What would be the point?" He paused, "You're going to come out to me."

"No I'm not." I sobbed. I knew if I didn't somehow find someway to calm him down, I was seriously in for it. I didn't want to face that pain again.

"Keith, please." My mom's pleading voice came from up the hall.

"What did I fucking tell you?" He snarled so loud, it hurt my ears. Even through the door, "You refuse to teach this little bitch some manners. Now, I'm doing it, and if you interrupt me one more time, I'll make you fucking watch. Get out of my sight."

It was quiet for a minute. I let the knob go, turning around and curling into a ball in front of it.

"Open the door." He wasn't shouting anymore, which meant he was in a whole new level of angry. I knew this side of his anger. I knew this part. This part was what got me my welts before. I laid my head back on the door, silently praying for some sign of what to do, "Open the door, Leandra."

I cried quietly in the dark closet. I felt so weak again. Against anybody else I was strong, I was tough enough that they couldn't hurt me. Against anyone, but someone like Keith. He brought out a weakness in me I couldn't fight. No matter how much defiance I showed, it was never enough. It was tiring, but I had no way to stop it.

"You have until the count of three." He growled, "Then I grab the gun." I froze in silent terror, and I know he knew, given his chuckle. He paused, waiting for me to restart my horrified heart, "One.."

That made me shove away from the door, turning the knob just enough before backing up and kicking the door open. I recognized the look in his eyes as he reached in for me, and I scurried backwards. Whimpering the entire way. He only seemed amused as he followed.

He closed in, and in a burst of energy, I attempted to run by him, but he caught my hair, swinging me around into the door frame. Smacking my head, and effectively dazing me. In a dizzying burst of motion, he dragged me back up the hall, straight back into my room. The door slammed behind him, and he locked it once more, which got me moving again.

I shook my head roughly, trying to steady my vision. It worked after a few tries, but by then he was closer to me.

"Running from me now?" He asked me as I lifted to my hands and knees, "Oh, Leandra. You know better than that." I tried so hard to find the strength to fight back, the strength I had just a few months ago. It was nowhere to be found. I knew I couldn't find strength in my mom. She was just as scared as I was. Having been hit by him also, perhaps more than I had, and she knew. She knew I had reason to fear this man, which I undoubtedly did.

I listened to him lift his belt again, and I squeaked, attempting to dive under the bed. Reaching down, he caught my ankle, and dragged me back out. Digging my nails into the floor, I think I actually made marks in the carpet.

"Oh, no you don't." He growled. He released my ankle only to close his hand easily around my arm. Pulling me up from the floor, he threw me face down onto my bed.

The first slap against me with the belt exploded in white hot pain. Causing me to gasp deeply and arch my back. I hated this feeling. The overwhelming sensation of pain that no amount of expectation could ever prepare you for. Though I had expected this pain, I'd felt it before, that didn't stop it from nearly turning my stomach with feeling it now.

The second hurt even worse, only because it had crossed the first one. The third and fourth, had me crying out.

The fifth, I turned over at the last second, struggling to move. Catching this blow across my cheek. My eyes welled in involuntary tears at the sharp pain across my cheek, dangerously close to my eye.

"Shit." He growled, reaching for me again, "That one isn't my fault!" I had a feeling he was shouting that to my mom. He grabbed a rough hold of my arm again, turning me back over and pinning me to the bed by the back of my neck.

There was a massive difference between spanking as a punishment, and what this was. This was torture in its purest form. This was Jack.

I finally found enough breath to sob desperately, hating feeling like this again. The breath exploded from me in deep sobs I couldn't stop. No matter how hard I tried, they echoed in the room around me.

Counting each and every one, I cried until I had no breath. I counted ten more individual slaps. Heavy, strong slaps, before I finally lost count. The only reason he stopped, was because the belt had torn, and a loud pounding came to the door.

"You touch her one more time, Keith, I swear to God. Charlie won't have anything left to throw in jail. Do you hear me?" I was surprised at the strength in my mom's voice, despite how hard it shook, but I couldn't stop crying long enough to pay attention to it. He panted, the exertion with which he'd hit me repeatedly had him out of breath.

"I think the little bitch learned her lesson, anyway. Didn't you?" He paused, waiting for me to speak. When I didn't, he just chuckled, "This will teach you. Mind your own fucking business, and we'll be okay. Don't attempt that again." My cries hadn't quieted yet. He shoved away from me, and I instantly reached back, trying to cover all the painfully bruising parts of me. Sobbing hard into the mattress when it hurt to move.

I listened to him head for the door, throwing it open and leaving it open.

"Next." He snarled, "Come here, bitch. Think you can take that tone with me?" I cried harder, knowing he was after her now. I couldn't do anything to help. Not with how much pain I was in.

The back of my shirt, and my skin had torn under the force of the belt. I only knew by the fact that my blood was cooling on my skin. Making me shiver roughly as I cried.

I squeezed my eyes shut, trying to block out his shouted voice and the sounds of his hand hitting her. The sharp sound of skin on her cheek. It seemed as if each time I heard that sound, I blinked more tears from my eyes.

How did I wind up back in this situation? How had my life gone so completely wrong? Again?

"You're just as worthless as your daughter."

"You know better than this, Gina."

"One day, you'll learn."

I shook my head, reaching up and gripping my hair in my fists. Unable to breathe again, the intense emotional desperation blocking my throat, making it impossible. Squeezing my eyes shut, trying to block the tears from escaping.

"Don't you run from me!"

That line from him only made me cry harder. Audibly gasping for breath before sobbing it all back out of me. The mattress took most of my sobs. I didn't have the will power left to push myself up.

I felt the violence in the house just as if it were me going through it. Her shouted voice ringing roughly up the hall from where he caught her in the living room. His shouted voice in response, letting her know just how much she'd messed up. Though she was scared, that didn't stop her from trying.

I felt so small once more, the pain running through me reminding me just how small I really was. I coughed hard, suddenly feeling so much more like I was suffocating. I had to calm down. With being sick, my breathing was already limited. Being this upset was just making it worse.

Feeling like I was suffocating wasn't only caused by my being sick, and I knew that. The pain was taking my breath, as was the fighting. I felt almost claustrophobic in those moments. Like I couldn't properly breathe, even when I could.

"Stop it!" I finally shouted, "Please!"

Needless to say, it didn't stop. He shouted something in my direction, but I didn't listen to it. The consequences of not trusting my mom right away were now tearing me apart. It was my fault they fought, and it was my fault my mom dealt with this.

I forced back the tears, biting back the whimper. Forcing myself up, I stayed there for a second. Every part of me trembled violently, and I painfully looked toward the now closed curtains over my window. I thought about how the world continued to go on passed the window, and how not one person out there could ever feel as horrible as I did.

I kept myself up only long enough to crawl forward. Not quite making it to my pillow before having to drop back down.

I must have fallen asleep there, because the next thing I knew, my door was thrown open again. I knew it wasn't too late at night, but it was much later than it was.

"You leave this room, I'll personally see to it you wind up where your mother is." I couldn't move if I wanted to. The door closed, and seconds later, so did the front door, and I knew I was alone now by the fact that my mom wasn't immediately with me, and the house was silent. I heard no cries, or shouts.

I briefly wondered where my mom was. What did he mean by that? I couldn't concentrate on that, though. Falling back to sleep. Hiding in my mind.

I don't know how long I slept, but I suddenly jerked awake, scooting back into the corner the bed was situated in. It took a moment for the pain to hit me, but when it did, the tears started again. I fought those back as hard as I could. Holding my breath until it hurt. Trying to be brave. Knowing if my mom heard me crying like this, it'd only hurt her.

"God, I'm so scared." I whimpered to myself, lowering my head, resting my forehead against my knees, "Please let her be okay." She was all that I had left. A left over sob forced its way out as I looked back up.

I opened my eyes, looking around my room for whatever might have scared me awake. It was darker in my room than I remembered it ever being. I still couldn't see a thing in the room, but somehow, I sensed something was off. Like the night I felt like I was watched, but less frighteningly. It didn't scare me this time.

Briefly, I was distracted as my eyes found something. That was what was off. My bedroom curtain was slightly parted, the streetlight outside shining just passed it. That wasn't the only thing that got my attention, though. Standing, I slowly crossed the room and peered out the window. The entirety of my room in shadow, aside from what came from the window.

The bars were gone. No hint of them ever being there, either.

"What..?" I asked in a confused whisper. I sniffled roughly and gently opened my window. Loving the breeze that came in. I closed my eyes, shivering a little as it blew my hair back a little. It definitely helped calm me down. Even with the bars there, a breeze could still get in, but this was different somehow. I don't know how it happened, but they were gone now, and I wasn't asking questions.

Then I remembered.

I spun, half limping toward the door. Through the dark room. Each breath I took, each step I took made the entire backside of my body scream in pain, but I had to look. I pulled open the door, half afraid of what I'd find.

"Mom?" I called, hoping Keith was still gone. Wherever he'd gone. Not hearing a response, I left my room. Cautiously stepping out into the hall.

I searched everywhere, only finding a little bit of blood on the carpet in the living room. I was here alone. I sighed and looked around. Wondering what could have happened that they both had to leave me here.

I decided to go back into my room again. In case Keith decided to come back. I debated whether or not to turn on the light when I entered my room, but decided against it. I just closed the door, unable to truly see in the darkness, so I stood there, sighing. I stepped to my dresser, pulling out a set of pajamas. Knowing I'd somehow have to find a way to clean the wounds on my back. Standing under a shower's spray didn't sound too enticing at the moment, so I left them alone for right then. They'd still be there in the morning, I thought to myself. I almost found myself wanting to laugh at that thought, finding it pretty funny.

I whimpered quietly as I pulled the torn cloth away from the dried blood along my back, as it hurt. Pretty badly. I tried to ignore it as I pulled the tank top over my head stiffly. I sniffled roughly, coughing heavily and repeating the process with my jeans and pajama bottoms before I made my way to my bed.

Slowly, I lowered myself onto my stomach. Knowing laying on my back would have been out of the question.

"Oh god." I whimpered, stopping for a few sobs, "Why does breathing have to hurt? I should have just stayed gone." I was honestly tempted to leave again, but I knew I couldn't. Not without knowing where my mom was, and what was going on with her.

I easily felt then that my fever was back. It knew my cries earlier hadn't helped, making my head ache dully. I glanced to the clock and noticed that it was just passed nine. The sun had set early.

I must have fallen asleep there, because I dreamed. I dreamed about getting hit again. Over and over, again and again. Like I was stuck in my own personal hell.

I grunted awake momentarily, thankful for the break.

"Go. Take my car." I heard someone speaking, whispering in my room, "I'll be here." Who? I couldn't force myself awake long enough to wonder.

"Don't you dare leave her." I heard a very feminine reply. The voices were whisper quiet, but in the quiet of my room and the house, I heard them pretty clearly.

I groaned what felt like seconds later, flinching weakly at something cold being pressed against my forehead, and my cheek, over the painful new bruise I now had. I still laid on my stomach, but my head was turned so the bruised side of my face was upward. My face toward the rest of the room instead of the wall.

I wished I would stop being woken up, but this was nice.

I opened my eyes, and it was still dark in my room. I could barely see by the light of the streetlight outside shining partially into my window. The curtains having been adjusted yet again. Looking to the clock, it was 11:32pm, and there was someone seated on the side of my bed, comforting me with their hand.

I swore I was dreaming this.

I more sensed them there, instead of seeing them. Maybe a very, very faint outline of them. It also didn't help that my eyesight was slightly blurry.

Whoever it was didn't say a word, only replaced their hand. It felt wonderful against my overheated head, as it was ice cold. I didn't think much of the temperature, because with as hot as my skin was, I doubted anything would feel warmer than ice. I relaxed until I had to cough again, gasping for breath after a few unsuccessful tries to clear my lungs. Despite how hot my skin was, I shivered under the blanket that had somehow come over me while I slept.

My head pounded harshly, and I nearly cried in pain. I would have if I'd have been able to. I brought my hand up, touching my palm to the side of my head and clenching my teeth until the wave of pain eased just enough to cry. A few tears escaped my eyes, a quiet whimper the only sound I was able to make. I was miserable, one sick pup.

The stranger seated on the side of my bed reached behind them onto the bedside table and lifted two bottles of pills. Still without a word, they opened the bottles, taking two from one and one from the other, holding them out to me. Though I knew what the stranger was handing me, one of the pills I'd gotten from the hospital before and the aspirin I had sitting there, I briefly wondered if I should take them.

I hesitated, unsure. Though I still couldn't see who this person was, I somehow knew I could trust them. I didn't know how, but I wasn't able to really rationalize in the state I was in, either. I reached up and gently took them from the offered hand, struggling to push myself up far enough to take them without choking. I was given a glass of water as well.

It puzzled me how this person wouldn't speak. Even a stranger would have the decency to say something when climbing into a sick young girl's window at night. I had a feeling that nothing would be said unless I said it.

Before taking the pills, I tried so hard to see who this person was. I may as well have been blind, because I still couldn't see a damn thing. I saw the outline of this person, and from that, I could tell that it wasn't my mom. It was hard to concentrate, hard to keep a steady train of thought. My thoughts were a jumbled mess, burning up with the fever and running from the pain too quickly, so I gave up trying to think. Nothing made sense anymore anyway. Why try?

With a quiet whine of pain, I forced myself to sit up fully. I was half afraid that by sitting up, I was making myself wake up, but whoever it was was still there when I opened my eyes again, much to my relief.

I looked at the pills in the palm of my hand.

I threw all three of the pills in my mouth and swallowed them with several heavy gulps of water.

"Thank you." I whispered, hoping to get a response from the stranger. In the darkness, I saw them nod. Without touching my skin again, they took the glass from my hand gently and insisted I lay back down. I stayed sitting up, however.

I shook my head, my previous instincts silencing me. Aside from thanking them, I couldn't make myself speak to this stranger. I wanted to say something else. I wanted to tell them to take me with them, but all I heard was a soft sigh. I watched as whoever it was moved slightly, looking toward the window.

Gently, I reached forward, noticing when they looked back to me. Taking the glass still in their hand and setting it to the side, before replacing the glass they'd held with my hand. My hand was cold, but not near as cold as theirs was. How desperate must I be for just some kind of caring gesture that I would do that? I never would have done that before my family left. The temperature of their hand instantly making me think of my family. If only they could see me now...

Just that thought had my eyes welling up again. I fought it, but I couldn't stop a gentle sob from leaving me. Somehow, there was more pain expressed in that one, soft sob than I could have managed to express in a shout. I needed this stranger to stay. To stay, or to take me with them. I didn't care where, but I couldn't stay here.

I felt my hand squeezed gently in return, and I looked back up. By then, my headache had begun to ease, and I knew. I felt that some part of me recognized this stranger. I knew them. Maybe it was the comfort they gave me that reminded me of someone. I couldn't tell for sure.

It made no sense to me, but then again, nothing about this situation did.

I felt cared for in this stranger's presence, something I hadn't felt in several months. It'd been several months since I had been taken care of, instead of having to be so strong on my own. Like for just a few minutes, someone else was here.

I jumped, gasping a little at the sound of a cardoor slamming outside, and I hopped out of bed. Around the stranger, and went to the window. A painful reminder of where I was again. I turned, looking back toward the stranger still on the bed.

The front door slammed open, and my eyes closed in despair. Then I realized. The stranger was still here. I heard Keith headed straight to my room, but I raced toward the door as fast as my wounds would let me, needing to keep Keith out of the room. I would protect this stranger as much as I could. I vaguely noticed the stranger stand, but I couldn't concentrate on that.

"Leandra!" Keith called, "Get your ass out here." I had the door pulled open before he even finished shouting that.

"What do you want?" I grumbled, the bright light of the hallway hurting my head. He took one look at me, and groaned, turning.

"Get into the bathroom, and cover that." He pointed at me, "And do it well, or you'll get another one."

"Where's my mom?" I demanded, crossing my arms over my chest.

"Waiting on your ass." He shot back at me, "Now get moving."

"Where is she?" I asked again. I could see what little patience he had was fading quickly.

"Do I _really_ need to tell you a third time?" He asked, narrowing his eyes. I fidgeted fearfully, clinging to the door to stay steady.

"Look, all I want to know-"

"Move it!" I flinched heavily at his shout, "Goddammit, bitch! If she dies while I'm standing here arguing with you, it won't be long before you see her again!" That shocked me into hesitating even longer.

"Dies..?" I asked in a whimper, "What did you do?" I found myself shouting now.

"I didn't do a damn thing to her that she didn't deserve!" He shouted back at me, "She's asked to see you for some stupid reason. Probably to make sure I haven't killed you yet. Now get your worthless ass in that bathroom, or so help me.." He started toward me, and I cringed back, closing my eyes tightly.

"Harm one hair." I froze at the voice behind me, my eyes opening again. Wide in shock. Slowly, I turned. Able to see now with the light from the hallway. I knew for sure now I was dreaming. Carlisle stood there, directly behind me. I couldn't breathe for a second. His eyes weren't on me, though. They were centered on Keith.

"Leandra, who the hell is this?" Keith demanded and I glanced back at him, before I looked back up at Carlisle.

"Who I am isn't the issue here." Carlisle spoke again, and I let out a sob, restarting my breathing, "But I can promise you, sir. You touch that child, we will have a problem."

"Come here, you little slut." Keith growled, reaching for me. Before he could get anywhere near me, however, Carlisle's hand closed on my arm and pulled me back behind him. I felt the tension in his grip, but he was gentle with me. I still had trouble breathing, feeling seconds from falling to pieces again.

"You _will_ maintain your distance." Carlisle told him. It wasn't a question. It wasn't an option. I was trembling roughly, standing on shaking knees. I couldn't believe my own eyes.

After all this time, there he was.

I was torn. Violently torn between wanting to just hug him and cry, but his preoccupation made me think twice. While he was preoccupied with Keith, I thought again. Just because he was here now, didn't mean that he would stay.

I went to step around him, but his hand came out, keeping me from passing.

Please. Don't let Carlisle make him too mad. I was the one that would have to live with him when Carlisle left.

"Leandra, get your ass over here." Keith growled, "Now."

"I didn't know-"

"Now." I flinched at his tone, and suddenly, my tears worked again. Instead of pushing passed Carlisle, I grabbed his hand, holding it tight in mine as my free arm hugged onto his arm. Sobbing into his jacket sleeve, five months of heartbreak pouring from my eyes. Carlisle turned, still keeping his eyes on Keith as he lifted me. Though it stung painfully to be lifted, I didn't care one bit.

I hugged onto Carlisle's neck, and everything else ceased to matter. The world could have ended right then, and I wouldn't have cared. I would have preferred it, actually. Just so I didn't have to face the day when he left me again.

We were outside before I opened my eyes again. I hadn't heard anything else said, though I knew it was. I couldn't find it in me to pay attention to that. I looked back at the house, spotting Keith standing in the doorway. Glaring after us. He was perfectly fine, but I knew he wasn't happy. I wanted to speak, to say something. To somehow accuse Carlisle, and plead with him, but all I could do was cry.

"I know." He told me, carrying me further from the house, "I know, and I'm sorry." I looked up, meeting his eyes. Having him returning the gaze only made me cry harder. Closing my eyes, gently trembling in his arms. Holding onto him as if at any second, he'd disappear.

"Have the others come back yet?" He spoke again, and I opened my eyes again, not even noticing he'd started running. Much less that we now stood outside of the house. I looked up at it, brightly lit again. I hadn't seen it lit in so long, I had to blink a few times.

"Not yet." I turned at Esme's voice, "I didn't know you'd be taking her tonight." She came forward from the doorway.

"I couldn't leave her there." Carlisle replied, stepping up onto the porch of their house, now brightly lit, "I'm amazed I left there without one injury to that man."

"I'm not upset that she's here." Esme assured him, "Just that we don't have much of anything in the house yet. Hi, sweetheart." She gave me a soft, sad smile, and my tears restarted. Double fold.

"I need to get her inside." Carlisle informed her, "I need to look at her injuries." Esme's smile faded to a sad nod, and she turned, holding the door open for us.

I didn't say a word, laying there on my stomach as he gently cleaned the dried blood from my skin. My arms were curled under me, which was the most comfortable position for me to lay in, given the situation. The splits weren't bad enough to need stitches, but they would be very uncomfortable, at best, for a few days. This was worse than the bruising I had before, but so many less than before, that it almost balanced out.

"Aspirin should suffice in taking away the pain, but if it doesn't, just let me know." He murmured, gently moving on to wipe the entire area with an alcohol pad. I didn't mind. They were pretty numb by then by individual cleaning, and it was more of a relief than anything.

"Thank you." I whimpered into my hands curled near my mouth. I jumped a little at feeling his hand smooth my hair, but relaxed immediately. I closed my eyes, enjoying the gesture. I didn't mind, even if it renewed my tears. At a much slower pace, of course, but without a doubt. New tears fell as I was allowed to sit up.

Instead of my tank top, I was given a large black t-shirt. The material was much softer, less irritating, so I didn't argue.

"Just don't let me forget that when you take me home." I murmured, "I like that shirt."

"You won't be going back. At least not tonight." He replied, "Not until I can be sure it's safe for you."

"It hasn't been safe anywhere since you left." I sighed, leading the way downstairs. Which was very much the truth, "Not even here was completely safe."

I paused on the stairs to look around. Noticing that while we were up there, Esme had been putting things back together. At least to a point. The couch had returned. I wondered where they'd put it, but decided I wasn't too worried about that.

"Your bed has been made." She paused placing flowers in a vase to tell me that, "I think it'll be pretty comfortable."

"Thank you." I murmured again, looking down. I honestly didn't know how to act. I didn't know what the situation was, and I didn't want to get close to them again. I was trying my best to protect myself, even if all I really wanted to do was just give up. I couldn't deal with the heartbreak again.

I had a feeling that I was losing that struggle, though. Even as I stood there, successfully biting back the tears for the time being, I knew that it'd be harder to do so if any one of them showed me any more kindness.

"Leandra." I looked up at Carlisle, "Who was that?"

"That was Keith." I sighed, "My mom's boyfriend. He was mad at me for trying to convince my mom to leave him. What I got is nothing compared to what she's been getting all week." My voice was quiet, hardly above a whisper, and how tired I was showed easily in my posture and eyes.

Carlisle sighed quietly, and Esme stepped forward. I couldn't make myself resist as she hugged me tightly, just holding me to her for a moment. This was what I was worried about. This was what I'd wanted for so long, and now that I was finally getting it again, suddenly protecting myself no longer mattered.

Eventually, I found myself giving in, and returned the hug as tightly as I could, clinging to her for all that I was worth. She lifted me after a few seconds, making it easier for me to hug her.

I tried to breathe while sobbing in her arms, but it was difficult.

"P-Please.." I cried, shaking my head, "I'm sorry." I was apologizing for clinging so tight to her, worried she'd be upset with me over it. I just needed a minute, or an hour. Or a year. Any amount of time would be better than what I'd just gone through.

I opened my eyes briefly, looking behind Esme as she turned and carried me toward the couch. Meeting Carlisle's eyes as he followed. My tears replacing themselves too quickly to see clearly.

After awhile, I began noticing something, though. Somehow having them here again only made the heartbreak worse. It made it harder to calm down, harder to breathe. It made everything I'd felt up until that point seem so small. This was so much more painful, and I only got more upset the more I let her hold me. Harder and harder my sobs intensified until I finally had to let go. To pull back and look at her.

I shook my head, falling to my feet. Moving to the other end of the couch, I sat down. I felt their eyes on me, and for a brief moment, I was glad it was just us three. I felt like I was too small to feel all I did, and it was overwhelming me.

"Leandra." Esme murmured gently, sitting beside me.

"It hurts." I admitted to her, "I can't do it." I shook my head, shattering just a bit more, "I can't let myself hope again, only to be smashed all over again when you leave me again."

"And that's my fault." I looked up at Carlisle's quiet voice, "Leandra, what you're feeling right now is perfectly natural. I let you down."

"That's not helping me." I sniffled, wrapping my arms around my stomach.

"I believed, perhaps way too easily, that you would do what I asked you to do." He explained, "To expect that of you, to ask you to do that so quickly was unfair, and I should have never done it. To not anticipate your reaction was something so unforgivable."

"Were you there?" I asked quietly, looking up.

"I tried not to be." He admitted, "I wanted so badly to believe that you were doing well. I wanted you to have the chance to heal, and grow up to live the life you were meant to." I was quiet, and I knew he knew what I was asking him, "I heard you that day, Leandra. I did hear you, and it killed me. To find you like that, in those conditions, it killed me. I had to try one more time, though. I led you that way, knowing you'd follow. You followed me, and you saw Bella."

"I cried so hard when you were gone." I whispered, my voice breaking, "I needed you so much." I closed my eyes softly, brand new tears trailing down my cheeks. I leaned forward, my arms on my knees.

"You needed your life more, Leandra." He murmured, "Or so I told myself." He stepped over, kneeling in front of me, "Witnessing what I witnessed tonight, I know why you were out there. What I want to know, though, is why you never told anyone."

"Nobody would believe me." I whispered, shaking my head, "Least of all, my mom. We got into a fight. After I kept running away to come here, and when I stopped going to school. I bit her."

I finally looked up, meeting his eyes once more. He studied my expression for a moment.

"I see." He told me gently, "I see you. All we worked for, all I tried to do for you has been undone, and for that, I can only apologize."

I sobbed gently and I allowed him to pull me into another hug. Lifting me from my insecure position on the couch, back into his arms.

Before I was there for for very long, I was suddenly stolen from Carlisle's arms. I gave a yelp, whimpering as I was squeezed, and spun around.

"Ow!" I cried, my tears renewing once more and suddenly, the squeezing stopped. I looked up, meeting Emmett's eyes. His eyes scanned the long bruise on my cheek, and he suddenly but gently flipped me over, tucking me under his arm, like a backward facing football for a moment and lifting the back of my shirt a bit.

"Okay." Emmett growled, "Who am I killing? What son-of-a-bitch is dying tonight?" I kicked a little, not used to being held.

"Nobody." I mumbled, letting Emmett set me on my feet.

"Are you kidding me, shorty-"

"Don't." I said, shaking my head, "Just.. Don't." I looked down, sitting slowly on the couch.

"Carlisle," Emmett muttered, his eyes on me, "Just what has she been through since we've been gone?" He'd noticed how much I'd changed as well. Immediately.

"Hell." I replied almost silently. He turned his eyes to me again, "You would know. If you'd been there. If _anyone_ had been there."

"I'm sorry-" He tried.

"Don't." I said again, standing back up.

"Leandra-"

And that was it for my temper. The anger I often used to express how unhappy I was, the anger often directed at my mom, or someone else who really didn't deserve it, was now directed at Emmett.

"I needed you!" I shouted, sudden angry tears pouring from my eyes, "You don't _do_ that! You don't promise someone you'll always be there, and then just leave them! I had no one! For _so_ long, I had _no one_! I was on my own!" I had to pause to take a coughing breath. I had to calm down. I couldn't let myself get too upset, but that was easier said than done.

"I didn't even have my mom until two weeks ago!" I tried to calm my voice. I didn't like yelling at Emmett this way, but he didn't interrupt me, which allowed me to calm down easier. Had he tried to interrupt me, that would have only made it worse, "And that was only to watch her being beaten every day. If I was lucky enough to escape it myself. I needed you. I needed.. Anyone. Someone there who understood me, and who wouldn't leave me, no matter the reason." My voice got even quieter, more emotional, and breaking softly, "Why would you just.. Leave me like that? Do you have _any_ idea what that did to me?"

He sat down, sighing.

"Come here, shorty." I hesitated, until he gestured me forward. I walked forward until he was able to wrap his arms around me, and pull me onto his lap. He sighed again as I sobbed quietly and turned a little to return his hug, "Remind me to hit Edward next time I see him. He's definitely got it coming."

He was quiet for a moment, letting me calm down enough to breathe before speaking again, "I know how much it seems like we just left and forgot all about you, shorty, but believe me. There was no chance. The entire time we were gone, all we thought about was you and Bella. Wondering what you were up to. We couldn't allow ourselves to come back, though, and risk making our goodbye for nothing." He paused, "Carlisle is the only one who allowed himself to come back. His willpower deals with more than just blood, let me tell you."

"That day." I mumbled, sitting straighter on Emmett's lap, "That _was_ you."

"How long had you been out there, Leandra?" Carlisle asked, finally looking up and meeting my eyes, "Why weren't you at very least with Charlie?"

"It's hard to answer that." I mumbled, looking down.

"Out where?" Emmett asked.

"The night I came back," Carlisle explained with a sigh, "I found her in Port Angeles. Living on the street."

"Why would you do that?" Emmett asked, shocked, "Don't you know how incredibly dangerous that is?"

"I know that more than you know." I mumbled, "I'd been there over a month and a half. I _had_ to, though." My voice had suddenly become pleading, "I had to."

"Why were you there?" Emmett asked, "You never answered that."

"Because I ran out of money." I replied, "I couldn't stay here anymore. I was going to leave anyway, but the cops showed up that one really snowy night in December. They almost caught me, until I headbutted the one holding me." I laughed a little, "He didn't like that too much, but it worked."

"Whoa." Emmett said, shaking his head in obvious surprise, "Slow down there, shorty. Start from the beginning." I took a deep breath, finally beginning to calm down. To stop crying long enough to look around me.

Before I could speak, Carlisle turned and headed toward the door. Gaining my attention. I bit my lip when I clearly heard Charlie's quite upset voice. More of a heated whispering. I couldn't hear any words, only my name. Emmett held me a little tighter, and I knew to be nervous.

A moment later, Charlie came in, headed right for me.

"Leandra, come on, swee-" He paused, both in walking and speaking the moment he laid eyes on me. I fidgeted a little, "What happened?" He demanded, looking to Carlisle.

"Keith." I answered, "I was trying to convince my mom to leave him, and he heard me. He wasn't happy." He seemed surprised for a second.

"Leandra, is he the reason she's in the hospital?" He asked, and I blinked in surprise.

"That's where she is?" I asked, climbing down off of Emmett's lap, "I didn't know where he'd taken her." I paused, "Is she going to be okay?"

"I don't know, sweety. I really don't." He sighed, "I haven't been to see her yet. I was only told she was there. Why didn't you come to me?"

"I was afraid you'd put me in another home." I replied, and that wasn't a lie, "I didn't want to go anywhere else, because I knew Carlisle was coming back." That part was a lie.

He spluttered for a moment, before shaking his head, "Regardless." He looked back at Carlisle, "It wasn't up to you to take her. If you knew about something like this, you're supposed to let me know _first_." He seemed to want to find any excuse to be upset with him. Well, I wasn't about to be his reason.

"I wanted him to." I said, regaining his attention, "It wasn't his fault. I asked him to bring me here first, so I can see everyone before you send me somewhere else. Please don't be mad at him. He was just thinking about me." Charlie sighed, but I could see I'd wiped that excuse away. I looked to Carlisle as Charlie turned away, offering a very small smile. Hoping I was helping a little. I sat back down, perched lightly on the edge of the cushion beside Emmett.

"And about the issue of my daughter in _Italy_." Charlie continued, "I want to know why Alice thought it was okay to just take her without bothering to bring it up to me."

**A/N: I'm sorry this took so long, guys. I was having the hardest time focusing yesterday.  
I wish there was a way to send flowers to reviewers. You guys are so awesome, I can't even begin to describe! You guys make three hours of sleep totally worth it! (:  
Now, to be totally honest, I can't remember if there was ever an explanation to Charlie about why Bella left. I did not feel up to searching around for it, so I'm making up my own lol  
Chapter nine will be in progress after a long, needed nap lol  
I hope you enjoyed this chapter, and I'll see you guys for chapter nine. Aside from reviews, of course. I absolutely love reading those. ****(; **  



	9. Chapter 9

**ImPORTANT-ER NOTE! READ ME!: More violence. A lot more. I'm serious on this one. If you're sensitive to blood, please proceed with caution. This fic is rated M for a reason. Okay? Okay. Please don't say I didn't warn you. Really. Don't.  
**

**A/N: Fun Fact: ****The biggest muse for the emotional parts of chapter nine was brought to you by the song: 'Sleep well, my angel' by We Are The Fallen. Trust me. If you listen to that while reading 3/4 of this chapter, you'll cry. I'm 18.6% sure of that. Yup.**

**Chapter Nine**

I knew I had to think quick, because Carlisle was still in trouble, "And she didn't take me?" I spoke up.

"What?" Charlie asked this time, looking back at me. That was why he was mad. Alice had taken Bella somewhere without his say-so. Naturally, I went with the first thing that came to mind. I knew it was more than likely way more complicated than that, but what would he believe?

"You wanna know what I think?" I asked, and Charlie sighed.

"What do you think?" I had a feeling he was just humoring me at this point, given his struggle to make his tone less irritated. He just wanted to blame Carlisle, but that wasn't happening. Not while I sat there.

"Alice and Bella are best friends." I pointed out quietly, "If I know Alice, and I do pretty well, I think Alice wanted to make it up to Bella for being gone so long." That seemed to make sense to him. Surprising, considering I was pulling this out of nowhere, "Alice does this sort of thing all the time. Once, I told her that I'd never been to California before. Immediately, she stole me, and drove to California for a week in the summer. Scared Carlisle and Esme pretty bad until she called, didn't we?" I looked to them, as did Charlie. They knew I'd just completely made that up, but they knew why.

"Sure did." Esme laughed, "And she got into quite a bit of trouble for it when you two got back." We smiled at each other. She played along with me, much to my relief.

"Oh." Charlie murmured, frowning but obviously believing me, "Well, Italy is a bit further than California."

"Bella is also a bit older than I am." I pointed out without hesitation, "Alice is too smart to even bother trying to take a ten year old on a trip like that. That one was hard enough." I had a point, and he knew it. He was a little more hesitant to give it up, though, so I continued, "Trust me, Charlie. There's nobody safer for Bella to be with. Try not to be too hard on Bella when she gets back, either. Please. I know she's your daughter, but I would have told Alice yes, too. Without a second thought." Charlie sighed, placing his hands on his hips.

"Alright." Charlie murmured eventually, sighing again, "I'll drop it for now, but only because there are other pressing issues that I _can_ do something about." I nodded. That was his choice after all, "Let's go, Leandra. I'd like to talk to you a bit on the way to the hospital to see your mom." I really didn't want to go, but I sniffled, nodding again and letting him take my hand, "If they want to, you can be picked up at the hospital in a couple of hours." Charlie glanced at Carlisle, as I did, "Once I've had a chance to ask you everything I need to ask you."

I let him lead me willingly from the house, and willingly climbed into the passenger seat. Letting him close the door behind me. I fidgeted in my seat as he climbed in as well, but that was the most I moved.

"See, now you're manageable." He pointed out as we left the house behind, "I get why you were manageable in Port Angeles, but this is different. I don't understand you, Leandra."

"Nobody does." I mumbled, "Sometimes I don't even understand me."

"How long has this been going on?" He asked me, "With Keith?"

"For me.." I sighed, "Since I've known him. He didn't hit me at first, though. I don't know how long he's been hitting my mom, but tonight was so much worse than it usually is. She kept fighting back this time."

"You say he didn't hit you at first?" He asked and I shook my head.

"It was only threats at first." I replied.

"Is that why you kept running from home? And going there?"

"Not completely." I said, "I just knew I was safe there. Until the police kept hunting me down." I paused, "I just.. Missed them a little less when I was there."

"You do understand what this means, don't you?" I looked to him, "If another family cannot be found to take you in, you'll be placed into one. Your mom obviously wasn't ready to take you in, and it shows."

"Did it really take you _this_ long to figure that out?" Glancing to me, he frowned, "As far as temporary homes go, I think I'd rather have stayed with her. At least there, I knew where I was."

We were quiet the rest of the ride.

I watched as he pulled into the parking lot of the hospital. Choosing a spot near the front. Together we walked inside, and he found the ICU pretty easily. There was another lounge, sitting outside of it without the light off. He released my hand with a sigh.

"Go in there, and stay put until I come back." He instructed, "I might be awhile. I'm going to talk to the nurses first, so just sit tight." I nodded, sighing and heading into the room.

I wasn't in there thirty seconds, my thoughts running full speed, before I considered the fact that at any time, Keith could leave. That was unacceptable to me. Not with all he'd done. Despite how tempting it was to stay, and see my mom, I couldn't.

The longer Charlie took, the more time he had.

Blame it on the impulsiveness, or the nerves, or how tired I was, aiding in confusing me further, but I stood. Peeking around the door, I made sure no one was watching before scooting from the room. Back up the hall, and out the doors. Casually walking right passed the receptionist as if I was allowed to leave. She didn't say anything, so as soon as I was outside, passed the doors, I started running.

I was thankful, as were my bare feet, that we didn't live far from the hospital. Thunder rumbled further off in the distance, and I just then noticed how thick the clouds had gotten. A storm was coming, and for a second, I considered calling Carlisle when I got there. Thinking to myself that maybe this was something I shouldn't do alone. Not with my history of getting myself into trouble.

But I decided against it.

I didn't want to bother him. Not with something as small as this. Not so soon after coming back. Not if I wanted him to stay around.

I continued on, running faster now. I didn't want to get caught in the rain. I'd only left the hospital a few minutes ago at this point, so Charlie wouldn't know I was gone yet. When he did find out, I could only hope he came straight to my mom's house.

Once I got there, I opened the front door quietly, peeking inside.

At first, I didn't see anyone. I swallowed back my nervousness, stepping in and closing the door. I looked to the left, jumping as I finally saw someone. Keith, sitting in the loveseat by the window. Sitting there, leaned forward with his elbows on his knees as if deep in thought.

He didn't speak at first, but I had no doubts he knew I was there. Standing there, uncertain, I watched as he slowly looked up, chuckling a little as he stood.

We stood there for a few seconds, watching each other.

"You know." He finally said, "It's hard for me to see you as her daughter. You don't even look like her." He chuckled a bit, shaking his head, "Maybe a little. In the shape of your eyes." He kept his tone easy, which only made me more edgy, "But you're nothing like her."

"Is that good?" I asked quietly, slowly moving further into the room.

"I can't tell." He admitted, shaking his head a little, "Honestly. You never do anything I expect you to do. I know her so well, so I feel like I should know you too. Obviously not. You don't act like any ten year old I've ever known." I was quiet, not sure how I should take that, "Except this." He gestured to both of us, "I somehow knew you'd be back."

"I wanted to make sure you didn't leave yet." I admitted. He chuckled, shaking his head and looking down.

"I'm not going anywhere." He finally murmured, looking back up at me. The way he said that increased my edginess. He had something planned, and I knew it. I just didn't know what, "I do care about her, you know."

"Then why do you hit her?" I asked, "It doesn't make any sense to me. If you really do care about her like you say you do, why hit her? She's never done anything wrong. All she's done is try to protect me-"

"Exactly." He laughed, "That's exactly it. Look.." He paused, slowly stepping around the coffee table, "I don't like you. I never have liked you, because I knew right from the start that you were the one person she loved more than me. It's not because she talks back to me. That's not it. It's because she does it in defense of _you_."

"You're _jealous_?" I snorted, "That's what all of that was about?"

"I guess you could say that." He said, "What can I say? I'm defensive of the ones I love. She's everything to me, but you.. You _keep_ getting in the way."

"Well, I'm sorry, but-"

"All that running away.. Keeping her constantly worried.. Acting out, and for what?" He demanded, "For more attention that she was only too happy to provide."

"I didn't ask for her to be worried." I replied firmly, "I wanted to be left alone."

"You're her kid." He laughed, "Of course she's going to be worried. She'll always worry about you. Until the day you die." I narrowed my eyes a little, "It is her job, after all. But." I jumped a little at his suddenly more excited voice, "See, I've come up with a solution to that."

"And what would that be?" I asked quietly, not liking how close he was getting. I countered his movements now as he sort of herded me away from the door, back toward the hallway.

"Well, she'd always be upset if you died." He said, frowning, "But if you were to.. Say, go missing.." He trailed off, smiling a little.

"Stop it." I glared at him now, "You're just trying to scare me."

"She'd always have that tiny shred of hope, you know. The one where she'd always wonder if today was the day you'd come home. Keeping her from being too sad for too long. Not even knowing.." He paused outside the kitchen doorway, reaching in to the counter and grabbing something, "That you'll never be home. Not if you're smart." I flinched at what he pulled back to himself slowly, stumbling a step back. The gun I'd seen him cleaning that day so long ago. My breath caught, but I tried to hide it. Looking down.

Unfortunately, he noticed. He chuckled, stepping closer to me, but my feet wouldn't move me back. I was too scared to move. My heart pounded uncomfortably.

"What?" He laughed, "This?" He held it up and I flinched a little, "Does this bother you?" He gently tapped my cheek with the cold metal, and I flinched back, whimpering quietly. He laughed again, "Don't worry. It takes a lot to make me use this. I have to really fucking hate you. Look, Leandra. I don't want to kill you. I don't. That'd be messy, and just.. No." He shook his head, throwing his arm around my shoulder, "I won't if I have another choice. I'm not saying that I _will_ use you as target practice next time, but.." He trailed off. I shook violently, wincing as he pulled me into his side, "Oh, ease up. All I'm saying.. Is that it'd be very wise of you never to come back. I don't know where you'll go, and frankly, I don't care. You did it before, and you can do it again. She was _this_ close to just forgetting about you. She can do it again."

I finally got my feet to move, a rather loud rumble of thunder above us making me jump. I stepped back, away from him.

"All I'm saying.." He said again, "Is one way or another, you _will_ stay gone."

"I'm not leaving her with someone like _you_." I found myself saying, my voice small and shaky, but as brave as I could make it, "She deserves better. You can't bully me."

"No?" He asked, "Are you really telling me no?" He seemed to find that deeply amusing.

"I'm saying.." I took a breath, "No. You're fucking nuts."

"See, there you go again. Taking me completely by surprise." He laughed, shaking his head, "Man, you'd have made a very interesting adult, Leandra. Really. Pretty, too."

"I'm not leaving." I whispered, shaking my head, "I'm not leaving her, and if it's the last thing I do, I'll make sure she knows what you did."

"Interesting choice of words, because it won't be the last thing you do. You won't get that far." He chuckled, raising his hand, and taking aim. I closed my eyes, squeezing them tight. I even held my breath, knowing this was it. I knew running would have been useless.

"Keith, put it down." I flinched at my mom's voice, suddenly there, "Put it down!" The fear in her voice scared me, and I sobbed loudly, trembling on the spot.

Looking up, I saw her. I saw how badly he'd hurt her. I thought before that black bruising was the worst it could be, but I was wrong.

The left of her face had bruising from her brow, to the bottom of her jaw. Spreading across her cheek, and over the bridge of her nose. Darkening her swelling eye, and her split lip. Purpling, swollen, and even red just under the skin. It was hard for me to look at her, but the fact that there was more than that bothered me even more. Around her neck, where he'd gripped her multiple times. To me, it easily looked like she'd survived a fall, or being hit by a car.

"Without her, life would be much simpler, don't you think?" He asked, looking to her by the front door. Her eyes were wide, and I knew she was seeing exactly what I was going to try and make her see just seconds before. Keith realized this as well, and looked back to me. By the glare he gave me, he knew it.

I whimpered as my mom suddenly crossed between us, shielding me with herself. He didn't back down, keeping his aim. I sobbed, and I clung to her. Her hands came behind her back, holding my hands securely in her own. Keeping me directly centered behind her.

"Gina, move." Keith warned, not wavering in the slightest.

"Put it down!" She yelled again, "Keith, stop this!"

"Move!" He shouted back at her.

"Keith-"

"It's always her!" He shouted, "She's always in the way! Worthless, _pathetic_ excuse of a waste of space!" Each shouted word had me flinch, catching my sobbing breath.

My mom suddenly rounded, taking my tear-stained face between her hands and looked me right in the eye, "Run, baby. Go."

"Mom." I sobbed, reaching up and holding onto her wrists.

"You'll be okay. Go." She gently tried to push me in the direction of my room, "Run. Don't stop running, do you hear me?" I sobbed harder, shaking my head, "No matter what, don't stop running. Be brave, baby girl. You've always been so brave. Go to Carlisle. Now."

"Mom, I don't want to leave you." I whimpered.

"Oh, God." Keith growled, "Gina, move. So I can put that little bitch out of her misery."

"Go to Carlisle, baby. You'll be okay." She urged, "Go on. Run."

She kissed my forehead gently, meeting my eyes one last time and pushed me more urgently away. As soon as I'd left her shielding embrace, terror made me run. As fast as I could. Faster. Nearly stumbling with each running stride. I'd never run that fast in my life.

Just as I rounded the doorway into my room, I heard it. The sound seemed to come straight from my nightmares. The loud, earsplitting sound of a gunshot, echoing through the house.

Though I shrieked, I only ran faster. Slamming into the wall across my room, wrestling the window open and throwing myself out of it and landing on the wet grass outside. That was as far as I could go. I hardly felt the pouring rain. Instantly soaking through my clothes, drenching me.

Covering my ears and curling into a terrified ball. Crying, sobbing into the grass. Several moments later, another shot shook me deeper, causing me to flinch violently and sob louder just as a car came to a quick stop by the curb. I saw the headlights behind my tightly shut eyes, and I heard the car door slam open.

"Leandra." It was Charlie, calling to me over the sound of the rain, "Get in the car. Now." I opened my eyes, and breathed deeply.

Instead of doing as he told me to, I sobbed harder, and threw myself upright. Back through the window. He called to me, but I didn't wait.

The horrific scene in the hallway didn't make me pause. I paid no attention to Keith slouched against the wall, the wall behind him painted red where it used to be tan. I ran straight to where my mom lay face down.

Sliding and falling on the slick dark carpet, I landed beside her. I didn't even realize what it was that made the carpet slick until I turned her over. Seeing the front of her shirt. Soaked through at the top left and down, just as my pajama pants now were with her blood.

I knew instantly that she was dead, but that didn't fully register to me right away. I knew I had a few seconds, if that, before Charlie would come in. I wanted her to wake up before then. I needed her to wake up, just so I could see that she'd be okay before he took me away.

"Mom?" I asked quietly. The one word was thick with emotion. I lifted her hand and pressed it to my cheek, tears streaming heavily down my face. Not even blinking at the blood that covered my cheek with her hand.

"Mom?" I tried again, "Please.." When her hand didn't move to comfort me, that's when it really registered to me. I whimpered, panting at the sudden burst of emotion that shook me. Somehow, seeing her this way, crushed me.

As much as I'd blamed her just months ago, how much I'd said I hated her, this hurt me. Deeply. She'd always been there. Even when she wasn't conscious, she'd always been there. The one constant in my life. The one piece of my life that had always remained. Somehow, losing her, I felt like I'd lost a part of myself, and it hurt. It really hurt.

Keeping her hand tight in my own, I laid over her, sobbing into her side. Emotion choking my breath, stopping it in my throat. I shook my head, sobbing desperately into her side, "Mom, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, mom. Please.." I didn't know what I was begging for. I didn't know what I was asking her for. Especially when I knew she wasn't there.

The door burst open behind me, Charlie running over.

He had to take a moment, but eventually, he came closer and took my shoulders in his hands. I fought to stay at first, trying to push his hands away, but he was more determined. Lifting me from her easily, carrying me quickly from the house. Out into the rain.

A few more cops showed up as he stepped outside, the rain hitting his jacket almost loudly over the sound of my sobs.

Charlie carried me toward another cop car and I was changed hands.

"Take her straight to the hospital, do you hear me? Nowhere else, and do not let her out of your sight." Charlie commanded, "I don't know if she's hurt or not." With that, he turned away, heading over to the four other cops that had shown up. I was still sobbing pretty hard at that point, my eyes shut so tight, I didn't even know who held me. I didn't care.

I didn't want to go to the hospital. I didn't want to be checked over, poked and prodded for answers. I didn't want to go through all of that. I wanted to just run and never stop.

As soon as I was released, sat down in the passenger seat of the car, I bolted. I couldn't help it. The only answer was that it was instinct for me. To run, to get as far away from the scene as possible. As quickly as possible.

"Hey!" The cop shouted in surprise, gaining Charlie's attention.

"Leandra!" I heard Charlie call behind me, drowned by a soft rumble of thunder, "No. Leave her. I know where she's going." I was thankful for his afterthought. Allowing me to run in peace.

The steadily falling rain rinsing the blood off of my skin, but it stayed stained into my clothes. I only then began to feel how cold it was. Like ice. Stinging my exposed skin. I couldn't make myself care, though. I let it drench me, not bothering to seek shelter from the ice that fell upon me. I shivered, trembling violently, even as I ran for all that I was worth. As fast as my wounds and my lungs would let me.

I had to stop for a moment. Standing on the deserted highway, looking around myself in the darkness. The lights of the small town left behind me, there was no light out here. With a small, quiet and breathless sob, I fell to my knees. Why was I running there? I had to ask myself that question. Had I forgiven them for leaving? Not yet, but.. Did I need them? Absolutely.

Oh god, how I needed all of them. I needed Carlisle and Esme. I needed Emmett, Alice and Jasper. I needed them to just pretend for a moment that they weren't going to leave me again. To let me fool myself for just one minute, into believing that they cared again.

I needed anyone, someone to tell me that I wasn't worthless, that I wasn't a horrible person. To tell me, reassure me that I was worth each breath I took. To tell me that I wasn't the horrible person I knew I was inside, and to let me know, if for one moment, that I wasn't alone. That I had a reason to live again, because losing everything I ever cared about hurt more than I could ever begin to heal from otherwise. Having it leave me, and be taken from me. Torn away from me in such a violent way.

I remembered Rose's speech several months ago. About how bad situations could turn out alright. All the possibilities and what not. I could not see, for the life of me, how something like this could turn out okay, or even acceptable. There was just no way.

I clenched my teeth around a pain-filled renewed sob, and the rain seemed to pick up around me. Pouring down faster, soaking me even further. The palms of my ice cold hands placed against the rough road under my knees, I closed my eyes.

Just like my thought earlier, it came forward again. Why was I running there? Even if they were here now, it really didn't mean they would stay. It didn't mean I could trust them now, or that they would want to take me back. Did I want to fool myself for just one minute, if it meant having to deal with the pain later? Charlie would come for me, and he would take me away.

And they'd let him.

A new family would never be the ones I wanted. No matter who it was. Even if my family did abandon me, I needed them. I needed the comfort just being there brought, especially after all I'd been through in the last few months. Especially in my last few hours. I took deep breaths, shivering and cold, alone on the road.

Charlie would come, but for now, I could still see them. I knew what I'd have to face later, but for now, I just wanted to get to the house and see it lit. To run there myself, and find someone there. Instead of how many times I'd run there before to find it dark and deserted. I picked myself up, and started again. As cold as I was, I wouldn't stop myself from running home.

And they were. They were there.

I hadn't even made it across the yard when Carlisle and Esme both stepped outside onto the porch, wide-eyed at my upset state, and the blood I was still covered in. I jogged to a stop at the bottom step, looking up at them. Rain still pouring in buckets on me, my hair wet and clinging to my face and neck. Panting shallowly from my run, but sobbing gently as well.

"Leandra." Esme's concerned voice called to me over the rain, "What happened?"

I let out a harder sob, shaking my head. Pleading with her not to make me answer her. I couldn't answer her yet. I couldn't make myself stop crying long enough to say the words.

Not at all concerned about getting wet, Carlisle made his way from under the shelter of the porch and straight to me. I watched him, and I wasn't thinking about before. I wasn't thinking about how much it would hurt to lose him again. I just needed him then. I needed someone to just put their arms around me, and tell me that it'll be okay. All I was thinking about right then, was how much it hurt to lose my mom that way. All I needed, for just right then, was someone to be strong for me.

When he was close enough, I stepped up onto the step, and hugged onto him. Squeezing my eyes shut tightly, burying my face briefly into his side, he felt my trembles. My silent sobs. Thunder rumbled overhead just as he returned the embrace, which was exactly what I needed.

"I just want to come home." I cried, my voice trembling along with the rest of me, "Can I come home?" He wasted no time, lifting me for the second time since he'd been back. I wrapped my arms around his neck, taking a gasping breath before it left me in another round of sobs.

He held me securely, carrying me back up the steps and inside the house. I kept my eyes closed. Immensely surprised as I began to calm down. Very quickly. I took first one deep breath, then another until my breathing became more normal.

I sat back in Carlisle's arms, sniffling and rubbing my sore eyes. I was very tired by then, knowing it had to be near dawn.

"What happened, shorty?" I turned, looking at Emmett, and noticing Jasper beside him. I hadn't seen Jasper yet, so to say I was surprised would have been an understatement. Despite how upset the question should have made me, I was able to sigh. Calming down even more. I'd forgotten what it was like to trust my emotions to someone else. Left over tears clung to my cheeks, but I was able to breathe. Sniffling, I took a few seconds.

"My mom.." I finally mumbled, "She's.." I couldn't form the words, "Let's just say, she won't be able to take me back anymore."

"What?" Esme asked, shocked.

"Keith.. Again." I sighed, dropping down to my feet. I sat on the couch, drawing my legs up to my chest. Curling into the corner near the armrest, "When we got to the hospital, Charlie walked off to talk to the nurses. I ran off. Leaving, because I wanted to make sure Keith didn't run off. To make sure he stayed." I sighed, "I went home, and found him still there." I closed my eyes as a handful of tears escaped my eyes. I had to take a few deep breaths, "She was just protecting me. She told me to be brave, and to run. I should have stayed. She shouldn't have had to die to protect me." Esme whimpered in shock, instantly sitting beside me, "I went back, but.. There was nothing I could do. Nobody was there. Charlie got there too late."

"Are you sure she was gone?" Carlisle asked, and I nodded.

"There was too much blood." I closed my eyes, shaking my head, "There was no way she survived that. Neither of them did."

"And you saw them?" Carlisle asked, his tone softer. I looked down, blinking more tears from my eyes. Nodding. Esme gently pulled me to her, clearing my wet hair from my face.

"Charlie's going to come for me." I murmured, "When he's done there. I have to be gone by then." That seemed to surprise them.

"What are you talking about, shorty?"

"He's going to come here. Looking for me." I paused, "He's going to want to ask me about what happened, and I can't make myself answer him. I can't do it. And I know he's going to want to take me to some other home, and I'm not willing to go. I can't. I refuse."

"You really think he won't let you stay here?" Jasper asked quietly from the side. I glanced to him, before I looked down again.

"I wouldn't ask that of you." I mumbled, shaking my head, "I know you're not here to stay, anyway. The least of your worries is me."

"And the least of your worries is going somewhere else." Emmett said determinedly, "Sit tight, shorty, because you're not going anywhere."

"Don't tell me that." I shook my head again, standing.

"Why not?"

"Because I'll believe it." I replied, looking up at him, "And I don't want to be left picking up the pieces of me when you leave again." He and Jasper both looked down, "I'll go back to Port Angeles or something."

"Like hell you will." Emmett looked back up, surprised I'd say that, "Hell no, shorty. Sit your butt down."

"I was doing just fine, until I saw Bella." I reasoned, "I should have stayed."

"Leandra." I turned, looking up at Carlisle, "Do you have any idea how many things could have gone wrong while you were there? Any at all? You could have died."

"I wouldn't have cared." I told him honestly, "Not one bit." I looked down, sitting gently back on the couch, "Nothing could have hurt me more than losing you guys. I didn't care anymore. Not until I thought I saw you again. Now I'm sure everyone would have been better off if I'd have just stayed gone."

"You don't mean that." Esme murmured beside me, "You're just upset."

"I'm upset, but I do mean it." I said, looking to her, "I know it. It's my fault my mom died tonight. She'd still be alive if it weren't for me." I closed my eyes, squeezing them shut for a second before I opened them again, "My only option is to leave."

"You're not leaving." Carlisle said, "Not to go back to that."

"I can't stay. Not if I'm just going to be tossed aside again." There it was. How I truly felt, and I immediately regretted saying it. Squeezing my eyes shut again.

"Is that how you feel?" Emmett asked quietly. I was quiet for a moment, trying to find the right words.

"In the beginning," I mumbled, "I wouldn't let myself believe it. I ran here that night. Waiting all night, hoping someone would come back." I sighed, "When I missed enough school, my mom brought Keith home. About a month after you guys were gone. Well, he told me that because I was acting out, he would be able to convince my mom to send me away. To some nuthouse. If I didn't do what he said to do, he would point out that I was leaving every night, and she'd send me away just to keep me safe. He knew I was leaving every night, but he didn't know why or where. To come here."

I stood, and looked down, pacing a little.

"We were both pretty stubborn. I still left. I still came here, but he didn't tell my mom until we fought one day. I was found by the cops, and she came to the station to pick me up. On the way home, she cried. I could tell that she was pretty fed up with how I'd been acting, and she didn't know what else to do. We fought. Me and her. That was the first and only time I bit her. I thought that by doing that, I made sure she would send me away. That's what Keith told me later."

"I fought with him. It was pretty messy. He kicked in my bedroom door, because I punched him. He was going to tell my mom that he had to do that, because I was trying to kill myself. I knew she'd believe him. With no question." I paused, gathering my thoughts, "I bit him to keep him from hitting me again, so he threw me into a closet. Told me to stay in there until he let me out. I was in there for a few hours, going over my options. I didn't have many." I sighed, continuing to pace. This was harder than I thought, recalling everything.

"It was either stay, like he told me to do, and be sent away to God knows where, or run. I ran after that. That was.. Sometime in November. I grabbed what money I did have, and I ran here. I'd been found here before, but I thought that if I could find a way up onto the balcony on the second floor, they'd never think to look there."

"That explains it." Jasper murmured, looking to Emmett.

"I climbed up a log." I sighed, "I made it. Barely, and after falling a lot, but I did. I didn't find out the door was unlocked until the next morning. I stayed here until mid December. Until the cops came here to find out why water was being used. I was going to leave anyway. I didn't want to, but I knew I'd starve if I didn't find another way. I wasn't at all prepared to leave, though. I just did what I had to do. I ran from them, and stayed the night outside. I was.. Right out there." I gestured to the trees, "Hiding from them. Man, it was freezing that night. Without shoes, or a jacket, all I could do was stay curled and hope for the best."

"In the snow?" Emmett asked, shocked.

"In the snow." I nodded, "I _really _didn't want to be sent away." He shook his head, but was otherwise quiet, "From here, I.. Found a way to Port Angeles. Learning how to survive there was.. Tough. For someone my size, it's twice as hard."

"You shouldn't have been out there." Emmett sighed, "How'd you get there?"

"Laurent." I answered, and that shocked him even more, "He came to me the next morning. He asked me why I ran from the cops the night I was chased from the house, because he saw me do it. I told him, and he offered to help me. In exchange for whatever I could tell him about Bella." I paused at the looks that passed between them, "I couldn't tell him much. I hadn't seen her at all up until that night in Port Angeles."

"What'd you tell him?" Emmett asked quietly.

"Just that she lived in town somewhere." I said, "I asked him why he wanted to know, and he said he was only curious. He helped me anyway, even though I couldn't tell him very much. He seemed okay with that, giving me a jacket and shoes, and he carried me there. Left me in an alley, and I haven't seen him since."

I sighed again, looking back down and continuing my pacing, "That night.. The night I thought I saw Carlisle.." I glanced to him, "I wasn't sure. I don't even know why I looked up, but I did, and I saw. I had to know. I couldn't let it go, but by the time I found a way to cross the street, he was gone.." I shook my head, trailing off.

I swallowed back my emotion, knowing I had to continue, "I looked.. Everywhere. That's all it took. Just.. That minute or so of thinking you were back. If only for a second, it was enough to make me give up. After almost two months of living on my own, of fighting off people who claimed to only want to help, but knowing that was a lie. Of not knowing where to go next, or how to go back.. That ended. I thought.. Just for one second.. That I didn't have to be scared anymore, but when you were gone, it was so much worse than when you first left." I looked down. I knew Jasper was really putting his gift to work with me. I knew that was the only reason I was able to speak. To tell my story without having to sob uncontrollably. I glanced to him, seeing his eyes still on me, and I continued.

"After that, I went to Bella. I gave up, and let Charlie take me home. I figured I would deal with being hit if it meant I didn't have to fight to live anymore. Or.. If it meant I didn't have to fight to hold onto you guys, when I knew you weren't coming back." I paused, "The morning after I came back, I saw immediately that Keith had been hitting my mom too. She tried to deny it, but I saw."

I paused, looking down at my hands, fighting even more emotion back, "That's when she told me that no matter what I put her through, she'd never send me away. She'd always fight to keep me, and protect me." I had to pause for several moments, until Jasper helped me again. I took a deep breath, "The rest of the time, until tonight, she spent doing that. Keeping Keith's hands off of me, and on her. They fought.. All the time. Earlier today. I went in to comfort her, and I tried. I tried to convince her to leave him, but he heard me, so he took me to my room, and beat me with his belt until it broke." I had to pause at the growl from Emmett, "And until my mom yelled at him. Threatening him. Something she knew never to do, but it worked. She got his attention, and from there, he beat her bad enough to send her to the hospital." My voice quieted, and I looked up at Carlisle, "The rest you know."

"What happened tonight, Leandra?" I looked back at Jasper, and took a breath. Knowing what he wanted to know.

"I went back." I said, letting the breath out in a sigh, "While Charlie was distracted, I went back, and I found Keith at home. There, he told me that he's hated me since he met me, because my mom cared about me more than him, and he told me that.. To solve that problem, I was going to run away again, and never come back. If I ever came back, he would kill me. If I refused, he would kill me anyway. Well.." I paused, "I refused. I wouldn't leave my mom with someone like him. She deserved more, and didn't deserve to be treated the way he treated her. That's when she showed up." I looked down, closing my eyes and sitting down beside Esme again, "She didn't hesitate. She wasn't even really scared of Keith or his gun. She was scared for me." I ignored Emmett's sigh, and Esme's quiet whimper.

This was harder for me to say. Even if I couldn't be sad about it, it was hard to say.

"When he didn't lower it, she told me to run. To be brave. I didn't want to go, but she kept telling me to, so when she let me go, I did. She stayed behind.." I trailed off, my voice soft. Hardly making a sound, "I heard it, and I heard the second one. That was his. I went back when Charlie showed up, and I went to her, but.." I choked on the emotion that came forward, despite Jasper's efforts, "I tried to wake her up, but I knew. She wouldn't wake up." I had to take a moment. When I spoke again, my voice was thicker, quieter, "No matter how hard I tried, she wouldn't wake up. I mean, if I lived through that, why wouldn't she? I-I thought.." I sniffled, "If I could, she could, because she's so much braver than I am."

Esme pulled me to her, and I took a few deep breaths.

"Charlie pulled me away from her, and he tried to have another cop take me back to the hospital, because he didn't know if I was hurt or not, but that wasn't where I wanted to be. I ran, and Charlie told him to let me go. That he knew where I was going. I can't let Charlie find me here. I don't know where I'll go, but I can't let him find me."

It was silent in the room aside from my quiet sniffles. It wasn't until I yawned that Esme spoke beside me.

"Would you like to sleep?" She asked me, and I numbly nodded.

"Just for now." I mumbled, "But I have to be up before he comes." I looked to her, watching her glance to Carlisle.

"Come on, sweety." She murmured, standing and helping me stand as well. I looked up at Carlisle as well, blinking back tears.

"You'll still be here when I wake up?" I asked almost hesitantly, "I won't wake up alone?"

"No, Leandra." He answered gently, "You won't."

"Good." I replied quietly, "Because as much as I wish this was a nightmare.." I paused, "It's one I don't want to wake up from." I looked to Emmett and Jasper as well, before my eyes landed on Esme beside me. I looked up, meeting her eyes pleadingly, "Please.. Don't leave me. At least.. Not yet. That's all I ask. Just.. Not yet." Her eyes softened in intense sadness, and she pulled me into her side. I hugged her tightly, closing my eyes, "Please."

She led me slowly from the room, comforting me the entire way. I was given another large t-shirt, and I pulled it on. Too tired, too cold, and in too much pain to be shy in front of Esme. Without much else, I climbed into bed. I'd almost forgotten about my wounds, until removing my shirt reminded me.

Esme sat beside me on the bed once I was settled, softly smoothing my hair back. Somehow, her doing that eased my nerves. It comforted me deeply, easing my worry over her leaving, as she silently promised to stay. At least for right then. That's what mattered to me.

Listening to the soft thunder outside, as well as the rain picking up against the glass of the window, I closed my eyes. Curled, safe and warming up in my bed, I knew what my dreams would hold. I knew they wouldn't be pleasant, but I needed sleep so badly. I couldn't hold off the sleep any longer. I fell asleep to Esme's gentle movement.

**A/N: I knoooow this is late. Planned, and unplanned naps throughout the day yesterday had me scrambling to piece this together for you, finally ending the scramble at.. 5:00am. Computer and real life frustrations kept getting in the way, but here it is. Brand new and shiny, ready for your viewing. (:  
I haven't even started on ten yet, so it may be a little bit of a wait for that one. Just.. A tiny heads up. I could surprise you, though. You never know. **  
**THANK YOU to my GORGEOUS reviewers. I heart you all. Honestly.  
For the record, I cried like twenty-seven times typing this out. Just another fun fact.  
'Til ten, readers. (:**


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter Ten**

My eyes slowly opened, wincing a little at the bright cloudy daylight filtering in through my window. My head spun a little, letting me know I still needed to sleep, but something wouldn't let me.

Just laying there, I already knew what kind of day I would have. It was the kind of day that no matter how much I wanted to, I couldn't just lay here. I couldn't let it get to me, and I had to swallow back the overwhelming emotion, and get shit done. The emotion could wait until later to deal with, but for now, it'd just be one foot before the other. It was the one step at a time kind of day until I knew for sure where I stood.

Before I could even finish that thought, Jasper gave me a large dose of calm, making it hard to even want to climb out of bed. Completely obliterating my nervous strength. Letting me know he was aware of my emotions, and that he was there to help if I needed it. Guaranteed, I would.

"Thank you." I mumbled into my pillow. Knowing I was awake, and would need it much more now, he took the liberty. I didn't mind. In fact, I accepted it easily. I yawned deeply, rolling over onto my back. Giving a quiet whimper of pain as each of my new wounds protested at once. After I took a few breaths, it eased into a more tolerable level.

I realized then what it was that had woken me. The smell of something cooking had me smile a little. Esme always knew. Shaking my head, I closed my eyes.

"Emmett.." I heard Rose calling to him out in the living room, and I knew he was happy I was awake. She was telling him to wait, let me come out on my own, but I doubted that was going to happen. I wondered when she got home. I didn't remember seeing her the night before.

"It's okay." I mumbled, my eyes closed, "He can come in." Immediately, the door opened just as I yawned again.

I opened my eyes, and looked up at him as he was suddenly across the room to my bedside. He kneeled beside the bed, folding his arms on the side of it, just watching me.

"Hi." I told him.

"Hi." He replied, smiling a little.

"Can I help you?"

"You know there's no help for me." He answered, and I just shrugged a little.

"Can't hurt to try." He seemed to find that amusing, laughing a little and sitting on the side of the bed.

"So." He said, "Sleep good?"

"Like a rock." I said, which was a yes. I sniffled a little, "I have a headache, though."

"I'm sorry." He said honestly, "Anything I can do?"

"Nah." I mumbled, shaking my head, "It's nothing big." He was quiet for a moment, and so was I. Just laying there watching my folded hands on my stomach, trying to get used to him being there again, "Charlie hasn't been here yet, has he?"

"He was here." Emmett allowed, "But he left already." I sat up slowly, confused, "He was here. About two hours ago. Carlisle and Esme both sat down with him, and just let me tell you. When Esme wants something, she gets it. She can be even more persuasive than Carlisle sometimes. Not that she had to be, though. After last night, Charlie thought it was best to let you sleep, and stay where he knows you want to be for now."

"B-but.." I mumbled, narrowing my eyes a little in my confusion, shaking my head, "Wait.."

"You seem upset." Emmett frowned.

"I am." I said, climbing out of bed. Emmett stood as well, following me from the room as I went in search of Carlisle. Luckily, I found him in the living room, sitting in one of the replaced chairs, looking up and meeting my eyes as I stopped in front of him, waiting for him to explain.

"What's the matter?" He asked, concerned.

"I can't stay." I said, shaking my head, "I told you last night."

"Shorty, I thought you said you refused to go to another family." I looked back at Emmett.

"I do." I said, "But I can't stay here either. I have to protect myself." I looked over, watching as Jasper sighed and turned, attempting to leave the room, "You. Get back in here." He paused, just as surprised at my tone as Emmett was. Given Emmett's chuckle, he was amused as well as surprised.

"Leandra." I looked back at Carlisle, turning to face him again, "Please. Explain."

"I can't stay here. I'm not talking about protecting myself physically. I don't care what happened in the fall. I couldn't give a shit about that. What I'm talking about is keeping myself from being lied to again."

"We've never lied to you." Carlisle reasoned softly.

"Yes, you did." I insisted, "Repeatedly. You.. All of you.." I gave a quick glance around, "Told me I would _never_ be alone again. That was a lie. You told me I never had to be afraid again. That was a lie. You told me I'd always have a place with you, that you'd never forget about me. That was a lie. Over, and over, and over. You lied straight to my face, and I'm not falling for it again."

"Let me explain." Carlisle requested with a quiet sigh.

"I don't care what the reason is, Carlisle. There is always going to be an explanation for whatever happens. It could even be rational, and logical, but it doesn't matter to me. What matters to me, is that you promised to always be there, and you broke that promise. _That's_ what matters to me. You said I deserved to grow up to be happy. You knew full well that wasn't going to be possible if you left, and you left anyway. As far as I'm concerned, that's worse than beating me." His eyes grew sad and I looked down, "I would have preferred that actually, because those wounds heal. These won't."

"If we were to go anywhere again, shorty, you'd be coming with us." Emmett tried and I looked back at him.

"Words." I said, "That's all I'm hearing right now."

"And just where do you think you'll go?" Rose finally asked.

"I don't know." I said honestly, sitting down with a sigh, "I'll figure something out, but I won't go to a new family, and I can't stay here. I'm better off on my own." I looked down at my hands.

"You're kidding, right?" She asked, snorting.

"No." I said, not appreciating her skeptical tone. If there was one person who wouldn't hesitate to speak her mind, it was Rose, so I knew I was probably in for it.

"Leandra, you're ten years old." She said, slowly stepping forward, "What kind of life will you build for yourself living on your own?"

"I don't care."

"That's apparent." She said, "But you listen up, and listen good. Despite what you may think, we do. We care about what happens to you." She paused, listening to me snort. She chose to ignore that for now, "Now, Carlisle left, because he didn't want you having to live in fear of us. He wanted you to at least have a chance at a normal human life, and yes, that means the bad times too. That's the whole freaking point of living your life. He didn't know how bad things would get for you, and he's apologized for that."

"That's not the point." I said again, shaking my head.

"Yes. It is the point. It's very much the point, because you're blaming him for what happened while he was gone."

"No, I'm not." I argued, standing again, "All I'm saying, is that I can't stay here and pretend I'm not afraid of you leaving me again. That's not how it works."

"So because something bad happened once, you're going to condemn us forever?" She asked, "Is that how it works?"

"Yes." I said, "It is."

"Leandra, what happened to you is not our fault." She was getting agitated, and so was I.

"Yes it is!"

"Don't you yell at me." She shook her head sternly.

"It is your fault, because if someone had been there, they'd know I was living through hell again. If someone had been there, I wouldn't have had to be so strong on my own!"

"Rose.." Emmett murmured, touching her arm.

"So because we weren't there, you're blaming us?"

"Yes!"

"Why?" She demanded.

"Because I have nobody else to blame." I panted a little in my anger, "It's not fair! Why'd you have to go? Why'd you leave me like I didn't mean anything to you? Why'd you just.. Pack everything up, and abandon me like some stray cat you didn't want anymore? Do you know how much that hurts? Have you ever been left like that? Just.. Dropped somewhere, never to see the ones you love again? You have no idea what I went through!"

"You're angry." She pointed out.

"Yes! I am! And I always will be!" I wasn't surprised at the tears that had come to my eyes while I shouted. My pain making me angry because it didn't have to be there, "Tell me. Please just tell me what I did wrong to deserve what you all did to me!"

"Just take a breath, and calm down." She instructed, "You can yell at me all you want, but you know it won't change how you feel." I growled in anger, spinning and sitting on the armrest of the couch. My back to the room, "Tantrums don't solve anything, Leandra." I sobbed quietly, crossing my arms over my stomach, "You've been alone all this time, and you've yet to learn that."

"I never had to." I grumbled over my shoulder.

"Despite what you're telling yourself, we're not letting you leave here on your own." She told me firmly, "You can either accept that, or not. It's your choice, none of us can make that for you, but the next time you decide to accuse Carlisle like that, you'll deal with me. Is that clear?"

"You can't tell me what to do." I rounded again, "You have no-"

"I have _every_ right." She interrupted me, "If it were up to me, I'd let you go. I'd let you leave, because that is the only way you'll truly learn what it's like to be out there. On your own. I know you were before, but a month isn't long enough to fully realize just how much danger you'd put yourself in." I didn't bother replying, so she continued.

"You want to blame us for your actions, Leandra, and that's not going to fly. You're putting all the blame you hold on yourself on us, and _that_ isn't fair." I spun again, turning my back to her, "It hurts. It does. But what you've gotten so far is _nothing_ compared to what you could have had while you lived there in Port Angeles."

"You're mad at me for that?" I demanded, "You're kidding, right?"

"No." She said, her tone significantly angrier, "I'm not kidding. Leandra, while you were out there, without _anybody_ to protect you, you have no _idea_ the danger you were in. You were a kid, obviously homeless and without a place to go, who nobody would miss if you weren't found. Human beings are disgusting creatures that would do some.. Unspeakable things to someone like you without a second thought!"

"Rose. Maybe-" Emmett tried again.

"I'm not that stupid." I sneered a little, "I know not to trust anyone."

"You wouldn't have had to." She said evenly, "They could just pick you up like nothing. What happens when you can't fight away? When there are more than one of them, or when they're too strong?"

"Then I'll-"

"Or you can't bite. For whatever reason?"

"Then I'll keep trying!"

"Leandra, what you're not understanding here is that you're ten, and you're a human. You're even small compared to other ten year old humans. There are some sick, sick people out there, and now more than ever is when you need to avoid them at all costs."

"I'm not stupid!"

"You're lucky!" She returned my shout, "You got extremely, indescribably lucky while you were out there! You have _no_ idea! What you've lived through is nothing, absolutely nothing compared to what those psychos would love to do to someone like you!" I glanced around, a little unsettled by the fact that no one corrected her. Meaning, what she was telling me was true, "If they'd wanted you bad enough, there would have been nothing you could do to stop it, and let me tell you. They'd have no hesitation, no concern about leaving you alive. I'll be _Goddamned_ if I'm letting you go back to that. If you want to leave, you'll have to go through, at very least, me. Is that something you really want to try, little girl?"

I looked down, "If you're not stupid, then prove it. You don't want to go to another family, and that's just peachy. That's fine. But then your only choice is to stay here. Because if you walk out that door, that'd be the stupidest, most idiotic thing you could ever do. If you walk out that door, I will _not_ save you."

I sat back down, trying to hold back more tears of anger. She waited a moment, waiting for several seconds for any signs of arguing further.

"That's what I thought." She growled when I kept my eyes down, "You're here. We're here, and we're not going anywhere. Deal with it, and adjust your attitude accordingly!" Each word was shouted and emphasized with determination and a firmness I couldn't fight. With that, she turned and stormed from the room.

"Uh.." Emmett muttered after a few seconds of shocked silence, "Yeah." With that, he turned, following her. The seat beside me gently became occupied and I looked up. Meeting Esme's eyes.

"She's lying, right?" I asked quietly, "She had to be making it up."

"I'm afraid not." Esme sighed, glancing to Carlisle, "She's right, honey. There's so much out there that you still don't understand. Things you cannot even begin to imagine." She paused, reaching over and taking my hand, "I know it seems like she was being hard on you, but she just.. Doesn't want to see anything like that happen to you. Neither do we."

"I know you don't want to stay, Leandra," Carlisle spoke, "But it's really-"

"I never said I didn't want to stay." I replied, looking up at him, "I never said that. I said I can't. I just don't want to be hurt again. Carlisle, when you left, it killed me. I _can't_ handle that again."

"That'll never happen." Jasper spoke next and I looked to him, "Leandra, let me explain something to you." I watched him step over, offering his hand to me. I placed mine in his, and he pulled me slowly to my feet. Standing me in front of him. His hand came up, touching the top of my head where it measured compared to him, "This is how tall you are." It hardly reached his lower chest, "Or I should say, how small you are." He paused, sighing. Trying to come up with the right way to word what was on his mind.

"I know that." I said quietly, "You don't have to point that out."

"If anything.. I mean, _anything_ had happened to you that day, I'd never have forgiven myself." I looked down, knowing what he was referring to. He was referring to Bella's birthday party, "You're so much smaller than Bella. _So_ much more breakable. I don't think anyone has explained to you what happened." I shook my head and he glanced to Carlisle.

"Okay. You deserve to know. At least." He paused, making sure I was listening, "You understand that we're vampires." I nodded, "Leandra, the diet we choose is wrong. The way of life we choose is wrong. This," He gestured to himself and me, "Is wrong. It's not meant to happen. Never."

"I'm supposed to be what you eat." I murmured, and he smiled sadly.

"Yes." He said, "But it's _more_ than just that. It's instinct for us to hunt you. It's in our nature, the entire make-up of what we are." He paused, probably making sure I was still listening. Feeling my emotions for any hint of fear. When he found none, he continued, "Every time we deny that instinct, it goes against what we are. It's harder to do than I think you realize. The animal blood.. It helps. It does, but it's nowhere near the same. We're not meant to hunt them. Do you follow me so far?"

I nodded, sighing a little.

"Okay." He nodded, "What you saw.. That day, with Bella.. So many things went wrong. First, and foremost, it was my fault." I frowned, "Let me explain." He released my hand and sat me down, back beside Esme, "Your scent.. Is strong. So very strong, and so very, very enticing. Inviting. It takes.. A very large effort on our part to resist that scent. All of us. And it's not just your scent. It's everything about you. Your heartbeat is clear as day to us. It's supposed to be that way, as we're designed that way, made to hunt humans. Those of us that are more practiced at resisting have an easier time. I'm the least practiced. I wasn't.. Initially a part of this family. Alice and I came later. Much later." He paused and I nodded, "Now, that scent. Your scent. To us, it intensifies a thousand fold when your skin, what protects your blood, is torn."

He was quiet again, letting me consider that for a second.

"It lets us smell what we're missing, so to speak, and.." He sighed, "If, for one second, we're not in complete control of ourselves.. That happens." I nodded slowly in understanding, "What happened there, was I wasn't prepared. I wasn't completely in control of myself, not expecting to smell that tear in her skin. So.. I lost myself."

"I remember." I mumbled, nodding sadly.

"It seems like something simple. It really does." He said, pacing a little, "A papercut is something normal to you, so I can understand why you think I over-reacted, and maybe I did." I was quiet, watching him pace, "Edward reacted. He wasn't prepared either, and he used too much force against her, not even meaning to. All he was thinking about was separating her from me. Which was the right move, just as Esme did with you. She pulled you away, which was right." He took a breath, "But.. Edward's quick reaction hurt her, and he really does blame himself. From the very start, Bella has been warned, just like you were, about what we are. Edward feels guilty for letting her into his life, and he feels that that was what caused her to get hurt."

"Shit happens." I replied, looking up, "Sometimes things go wrong."

"I'm.. A little relieved you're choosing to see it that way." He said, shaking his head a little, "Now. We're on the same page. You understand what happened." I nodded, "Edward's guilt is the very reason we left. He wanted to give Bella a chance at a normal human life, just as we wanted to give you the same thing. He wanted her to choose humanity over us. Which.. Was a very selfless thing to do, considering what she means to him. She didn't see it that way."

"Just like I didn't." I commented, looking back down.

"Exactly." He said, "Leandra, you should always choose humanity over something like this. To want this, is turning your back on everything you are. Choosing a life of nothing but pain."

"I'd be trading up." I insisted, "I've never had a normal human life, so what is there to try for now?"

"Anyway." He continued, choosing to stay on topic, "The decision to leave was very sudden. Hardly any warning, whatsoever. There were.. Many arguments between Carlisle and Edward over it. Edward knew that if Carlisle were to stay, for you, his plan to leave would be for nothing. Carlisle knew, if he were to leave you.. This would happen." He gestured to me, "He had no idea what exactly this would entail, but he knew he'd lose your trust, and that's why he fought so hard to stay. Leandra, the decision to leave you wasn't easy. Not in the slightest. Not for any single one of us, make no mistake."

I was quiet. Sniffling a little.

"I know us leaving hurt you. I do. It hurt us too, please believe that. Leaving you brought us more pain than we ever imagined, but we wanted to comfort ourselves with the small hope that just maybe.. You'd be better off. That was our mistake, and we can't undo that. I know you're angry, and you're hurt, but that's the great thing about mistakes. We _learn_ from them."

"Leandra." I looked to Carlisle as he spoke, "I know it'll take a lot to earn back your trust, but I'm not asking that of you right now. All I'm asking, is for you to just try. I can't lose you again. You mean too much to me."

"We're not perfect." Jasper said quietly, "It's not often, but we do make mistakes, too. If you want to blame someone, blame me. It's my fault things went so wrong, and I deserve it. Carlisle doesn't. Not when both he and Esme tried so hard to keep you. To stay."

I sighed, looking to Carlisle again as I stood. I slowly stepped over to him, now ashamed of what I'd said.

"I guess I could try." I murmured, looking up, "Just.. Don't promise me that you'll stay. I can't take that. For now, I just.. Want to stay believing that this is only temporary." I sighed, "Staying here is way better than.. What Rose said."

"It is." Carlisle agreed, nodding sadly, "If anything like that happened to you.." He trailed off, unable to say the words.

"I'd seriously wipe out Port Angeles." I looked back at Emmett's voice as he and Rose came back in, "All of them would-"

"Emmett." Esme stopped him from continuing.

"And that son of a-"

"Emmett." Jasper tried to interrupt him this time.

"-Biscuit better be glad he's already dead. Thinks he can hit my sister and get away with it?" Despite hating the reminder, I couldn't help laughing a little, "I'd teach him a thing or two."

"Emmett, shut up." Rose finally said, shaking her head.

"I'd have loved to see his face if I'd been there to make an appearance with Carlisle."

"I don't know." I said quietly, instantly gaining everyone's attention, "I think he was pretty scared of Carlisle by himself."

"Well, wusses like that aren't used to someone else that _can_ kick their ass standing up for the ones that can't." I looked down.

"I tried." I allowed, shrugging a little.

"And that was brave of you, Leandra." Jasper sighed, looking to Emmett, "But don't listen to Emmett. He's got the compassion of a tree branch."

"What?" Emmett asked in defense of himself, "What'd I say?"

"Sometimes he doesn't think before he speaks."

"It's okay." I looked down, "I get where he's coming from. I'm just not used to having someone else stand up for me anymore. I'm used to having to do it myself."

"But now you don't have to anymore." Esme pulled me back to her, sitting me down beside her.

"Because he's gone now, I know." I kept my gaze down, "I've just.. Never felt like that before."

It was quiet for a moment.

"Leandra, about your mother.." I closed my eyes, hating this reminder from Carlisle even more, "What you saw.. That's going to leave a mark on you."

"I know." I murmured quietly, "But she knew I tried. I did all I could.." I paused, before looking back up, "She told me to run to you. That you'd keep me safe. Like she knew." He frowned, looking to Esme.

"It was probably because she knew how he'd taken you in before, shorty." Emmett replied.

"It didn't sound like that to me." I shook my head a little, "She sounded.. Confident. So sure. It wasn't just a hope. She knew you'd keep me safe. No doubt about it." I sighed, shrugging, "Maybe, though. Maybe she was just trying to calm me down. I just wish I could have told her goodbye. I wish I could have thanked her, for being so brave when I couldn't." Esme put her arms around me, and I smiled a little.

"So, shorty.." Emmett spoke up, "You staying?" He was trying to change the subject, which I appreciated. I didn't want to face that right then.

"I guess so." I sighed, "Just.. One thing."

"What's that?" He asked.

"I'm _not_ that short." That got a laugh out of him, and I even managed a small smile.

"You're short compared to me." He said, "So you're a shorty to me." I groaned and turned, climbing up and standing on the couch. He seemed amused.

"Better?" I asked.

"Don't rush it, shorty." He said, pressing his finger against my nose, "You already act older than you are. You might be small, but you're definitely strong. Don't underestimate yourself." He left his finger there, so I snapped at him. He pulled away easily, shaking his head. Chuckling a little, "Will you ever outgrow that?"

"Probably not." I answered honestly, "I'm feral, remember?"

"I'm seeing that." He sighed, but it wasn't a joke. It was more of a sad statement.

"Nobody gets me like you guys do." I said quietly, stepping up onto the armrest to be higher, "That's why I don't think I belong anywhere else."

"Well, whatever the reason, I'm glad you're here." He replied, "Because Charlie is coming back tonight. With an official." He offered his hand when I almost lost my balance.

"Tonight?" I asked, and Emmett sighed, nodding.

A silence entered the room, waiting for my reaction.

"Then he's leaving with the official. Without me." I told him evenly, "He knows me and he knows he won't win." Emmett grinned, "He knows me. I've got.. A not so good reputation, you know."

"See, babe?" He said, looking to Rose, "I told you she's the coolest kid you'll ever meet."

"Charlie has mentioned that reputation a few times." I looked back at Carlisle's voice.

"He has?" I asked, turning around.

"He's never met anyone like you." Carlisle replied, nodding and standing.

"Is that a good thing?" I asked, stepping back down onto the cushion.

He sighed, "It can be both, I suppose. Those that haven't met anyone like you before tend to make a lot of decisions regarding you that flat out won't work. It's good, because it gives them a chance to see beyond what they think a child should be."

"You're a learning opportunity, shorty." Emmett chuckled behind me.

"He can learn from me all he wants. As long as he knows that it'd be impossible to keep me somewhere I don't want to be." I said, stepping down off the couch, "Unless there are bars on the windows, but even then, I could probably make myself fit through them. If I wanted to bad enough."

The rest of the day consisted of eating lunch, and sitting around. Mostly thinking quietly to myself. It would be hard, I knew it, but I'd do what I promised to do. I would try. It wasn't that I didn't want to try. I wanted to. I really wanted to, because I needed them, but I was afraid. I was afraid of needing them, and I was afraid of trusting them.

Sitting there on the couch, staring at my hands in my lap, I almost felt Jasper's eyes on me. Glancing to him, I was right.

"I appreciate that, you know." I murmured, "Keeping me calm." He offered me a small smile.

"Keeping you calm helps keep me calm." He replied, "I'm happy to help." He gave me a small nod. I attempted a smile, looking back down.

"I'm going to need you a lot." I admitted gently.

"I know." He replied just as quietly, "There is more to my gift than I think you know." I looked back over, letting him know I needed him to explain, "Everything you're trying to feel, I feel. There's a lot going on in you right now, and it's.. Dizzying."

"I'm sorry." I sighed.

"What do you possibly have to be sorry for?" He asked, sitting straighter, "Feeling something?"

"I guess." I mumbled, shrugging a little.

"Leandra, do you realize how foolish that sounds?" I frowned, looking over, "Listen, and believe me when I say that feeling anything is never an occasion to be sorry about. Emotions are something far more complicated than I think you understand." The tone of his voice was something I hadn't heard before. It was a mixture of a scold, and patient understanding. I'd been scolded before, and I'd had things explained to me before. This was both. I didn't know what to make of it. I didn't know whether or not to be defensive.

"I don't have your gift." I shrugged again, looking back down.

"You don't need my gift." He corrected, "Not to understand your own emotions." He laughed a little, "Sometimes I think I know you better than you know yourself. If you were to work on them, on understanding all that you feel, you wouldn't need me anymore.."

"I do appreciate it, though." I shook my head, meeting his eyes again.

"You always have." He said, "I understand that. But hiding from what you feel isn't going to solve anything. I'm only here to assist."

"I know that." I sighed, looking back up, "I just can't feel all of that right now. Not with everything going on."

"How else are you going to learn?" He asked, "But through experience." He sighed, studying me, "I'll help you for now. I understand the need to hide now and then, but one day, you're going to have to learn. Because one day, I might not always be around you to help you deal with these emotions."

"That's when I hit people."

"Violence isn't always the answer, either." He corrected.

"It's solved a whole lot of problems from what I've seen." I looked back down to my hands, "It gets me free, and that's when I run."

"Often into more danger than what you left behind." He pointed out, but sat back with a sigh. He wasn't going to push it tonight, and I saw that. I appreciated that. I was quiet for a moment, until I thought of something.

"Jasper?" I asked meekly, looking to him.

"Yes?" He asked.

"Why is Alice in Italy?" I asked, "And not here with you?"

"That is a very long story." His tone was tense as he looked down, "One that I really don't feel up to explaining right this moment."

"Okay." I accepted that. I knew how that was. I was quiet for another moment, "Jasper?"

"Yes?" He seemed hesitant to hear my questions anymore.

"Do you think I'm crazy?"

Given his quiet laugh, it wasn't a bad question.

"Do you?" He asked in return, which confused me.

"Do I, what?"

"Do you think you're crazy?" He asked, leaning forward again.

"It doesn't matter what I think." I frowned.

"That's where you're wrong." He said, "If you believe one thing, but others believe another, it bothers you, doesn't it?"

"Yes."

"Then _change_." He sighed, searching for the right words, "You know your reasons. You know why it is you do what you do, and nobody can pretend to know better than you do. Not one person has ever been where you are, or thought what you've thought. Done all that you've done in your life. You know your reasons. Why should what I, or anybody else thinks matter?"

"I don't know.."

"Little sister, you've got plenty to worry about _without_ worrying about what other people think of you." He stressed, "You are the way you are for a reason, and what other people think isn't going to change you, unless you let it. See, how anyone else thinks of you isn't what matters, but it's how you think of yourself that makes all the difference." I smiled a little, "What do they know? You know your worth, and it's up to you to show them." I nodded, looking down again.

"Thank you." I murmured, and he chuckled a little.

"Don't listen to them. Don't believe the ones that tell you that you can't do something, just because you're small." He laughed, "I've learned a long time ago to never underestimate anyone. Much less the small one." I looked back up, another small smile on my face. Reflecting his.

I looked up, watching as Esme made her way into the room, followed by Carlisle. Carlisle continued on, crossing the room just as knock came to the door. I swallowed in nervousness and making myself stand. Jasper stood beside me.

"Remember what I told you." He murmured, "It's up to you." I watched as he turned, heading up the stairs. I took a deep breath, stepping to Esme's side as I listened to Carlisle leading them inside. I took Esme's hand hesitantly, hoping she didn't mind. She only squeezed my hand gently, letting me know that it was perfectly fine.

Both Charlie, and an unfamiliar man looked my way. Charlie looked completely exhausted, and I knew why. I'd given him so much to deal with. Added on to the fact that Bella was still gone, he had to ache for a vacation.

"Leandra." Charlie spoke, stepping forward along with the unfamiliar man, "This is Mr. Turner. The official now assigned to your case." It was odd, because I was expecting Mrs. Harrison again. She must have been busy with another kid. I glanced to Carlisle, and I knew he was hoping I'd behave. Fat chance.

"I'm not going anywhere." I said firmly, seeming to startle the both of them, "I don't care what I have to do, I'm not leaving."

"Easy, Leandra." Mr. Turner murmured, shaking off his shock, "That's not why I'm here."

"Then make it fast, because I don't like you."

He only chuckled, looking to Charlie, "You weren't kidding." Charlie shrugged, shaking his head.

"How about we sit for a minute-"

"No." I said, "I'm fine with standing."

"Sit, Leandra." Charlie spoke this time, "I need to speak to you, too." I looked down, not willing to do as he asked. I knew what he wanted to speak to me about. I was the only witness in that whole situation that lived. Of course he needed to hear it from me.

"Didn't Carlisle already talk to you?" I asked bitterly.

"He did, but I need to hear it from you." He told me firmly, "Come on. It won't take long."

"I'm not worried about it taking long." I admitted, "I just don't want to talk about it."

"Leandra-"

"They're both dead. Case closed." Esme squeezed my hand again, silently correcting me. I took half a step behind her, preparing myself to run if the need arose.

"No." Charlie sighed, "Not case closed. You're the one person who saw what happened, and I'm sorry, but I need you to tell me yourself."

"Whoa, whoa." Mr. Turner spoke, stepping between us, "Okay. Leandra." He looked to me, taking in my defensive gaze, "You've made your opinion very clear. You're wanting to stay here, right?" His tone was comforting, quiet. Not at all argumentative.

"Right." I grumbled, holding Esme's hand tighter, "Even if you do send me somewhere-"

"Then that's what's going to happen." He said, "I'm not here to take you anywhere." I shut my mouth. I didn't want to change his mind on that. He seemed like the type to be trustworthy. Even if it didn't come easy, I had no choice but to believe what he said. I sighed, nodding a little, "Does that help?"

"A little." I mumbled.

"All Chief Swan wants to know, is how what happened, happened." He said, "Can you at least tell me? We already know what happened. That's not what we're here to hear about. We want to know how." He was good. I had to give him that. I was quiet, studying him.

I eventually relented. Glaring down at the floor the entire time, but Charlie got what he wanted. Everything, including the fights Keith and I would get into before, and the reasons behind my disappearances. He really got to know what kind of person Keith was, and he finally understood my reasons. That it wasn't just because I missed my family that I kept coming here. I came here because it provided safety.

"If you tell me I need to see a psychologist, I'll hit you." I grumbled after everything, and the look Charlie gave me had me look down, and quickly change my tone, "Okay, maybe I won't, but I'm not crazy, okay? I don't need one."

"We'll cross that bridge when we come to it." Charlie sighed, standing, "For right now, I just want you to rest. I've got everything I needed for now." He paused, looking around, "Okay, so I'm curious. How did you get to Port Angeles?"

"What do you mean?" I asked, looking up.

"Leandra, we had that bus station covered from top to bottom. Long before they came to find you here." He said, "There was no way you could have gotten out that way."

"I hitched a ride with someone." I said, and it was true, "I knew taking a bus was out of the question. For one, I was flat broke and wouldn't be able to, and two, I knew you'd be looking for me. I avoided town."

"You're smart." He said, "I have to admit." He rubbed his tired eyes, "Alright. Can I trust you'll stay here? I won't have to come looking for you at some point?"

"No, you won't." I said, "I'm staying."

"Good." He sighed in relief, "Because you are one hard kid to catch."

"I know." I smiled a little, and he chuckled.

"Alright. I'm done here." Charlie murmured, gathering his stuff.

Mr. Turner stood next, as he looked to Esme, "The paperwork should be started on Monday. They'll give you a call to confirm. As far as I know, nothing else needs to be done on your part."

"Thank you." She said, standing as well.

"Just.." Charlie said, gesturing to me, "Keep her here. Put a bell on her or something, because trust me, when she wants to go, she goes. There is no confining that kid."

"You have nothing to worry about." Esme assured him with a smile.

"It was nice meeting you, Leandra." Mr. Turner smiled down at me, "You sure are something, you know that?"

"It's better than being nothing." I murmured, looking up at him.

"You got me there." He laughed, shaking his head.

I laid to the side on the couch with a heavy sigh once they headed toward the door, Esme showing them out. Carlisle looked to me, sitting back down with a small sigh. I was done. So completely done. I just needed five minutes where life wasn't hard. I turned my head, burying my face in the couch cushion.

"You know, shorty." I flinched at Emmett's voice at the end of the couch, "I think you scare him."

"Who?" I asked, turning over a little.

"Charlie." He laughed.

"Why?" I frowned, "I'm like.. Sixty pounds. Not even."

"Your ability to evade capture intimidates him." He explained, "You're not like any ten year old he's ever met."

"Yeah, yeah." I said, sitting up with a quiet groan, "We've established that."

"You're smarter. You're faster." He counted off the reasons, "You're way more wile. Hell, you even scare me sometimes."

"Right." I snorted, "There's no way I'm faster or smarter than you."

"That's not why I'm scared." He argued, shaking his head.

"Then why?" I asked, looking at my hands.

"Because you carry more than you should at your age." He explained, sitting to my other side, "One day, I worry that it's going to be too much for you to carry."

"I'll live." I mumbled dismissively.

"He's right." I looked up at Jasper's returning voice, "Everybody has their limits, Leandra."

"I'm not allowed to have limits." I replied, "I have no choice but to keep going. Otherwise, I would have given up a long time ago."

"See, it's stuff like that that amazes me." Emmett laughed, pulling me into his side.

"Ow." I mumbled, looking up at him.

"Shit. Sorry, shorty." He said, easing the pressure. I couldn't help the smile.

"Ah, it's okay." I reached up, slapping his cheek lightly, "No biggie."

He looked at me, surprised.

"First biting, now hitting?" He asked, "What are we going to do with you?"

"Feed me, and give me shelter.." I mused, "It'll be just like having a dog."

"A dog we can't train?" He asked, and I appreciated the fact that he seemed to understand the fact that I was joking.

"Pretty much." I smiled a little, standing, "Just be glad I don't chase cars." I yelped a little as he pulled me down onto his lap. Like he always used to do. Cuddling me, but being careful not to hurt me. Esme reentered the room, smiling a little at the sight.

"Hey." I grumbled as he reached up, ruffling my hair, "What gives?"

"I haven't been able to do this in like six months." He replied, "Get used to it."

"Actually," I grunted, ducking out from under his arm, "It was five months and three days." I kicked him in the face, rolling away to freedom. I knew I hadn't hurt him, and the laugh he gave told me he didn't take it personally, "And it might take some time before I get used to it."

I sighed, standing beside Jasper, crossing my arms over my chest.

"Besides." I said, "How do I know that you won't leave again once I do get used to it?" Both Carlisle and Emmett gave me a look, "What? I'm being careful here. Be glad I kicked you at all."

"Please try to keep the roughhousing to a minimum." I knew Carlisle wouldn't resist telling him that.

"Yeah, Emmett." I sneered playfully, "No roughhousing. I'm fragile, you know."

"You're anything but fragile." Emmett chuckled, shaking his head.

"I used to be." I mumbled, sitting back down beside him. It was quiet, "You guys have no idea." I sighed, looking at my hands folded in my lap, "I don't even know how to describe it."

"Come on, shorty." Emmett murmured beside me, "Don't let that asshole still get you down."

"It's not just that." I shook my head, "It was the.. Entire thing of.. Losing the will to live. I've never felt like that before. I used to wish it'd just all end, but this was different. This was.. Not wanting to continue doing what I had to to live."

"No more feeling like that." Emmett said, ruffling my hair. I laughed a little, swiping at his hands and clearing my hair from my face.

"I know. Stop complaining. I'm alive, and that's what matters. I'm not done." I paused, finally looking over, and into his eyes, "What bothers me, though, is that I'm the runt that nobody wants."

"We want you." Esme said quietly, concern in her voice. I looked to her, smiling a little.

"Can I ask something?" I asked, looking to Carlisle.

"Of course."

"Just.. Humor me, okay?" I stood carefully, "What happens when you leave again? What'll I do then?" I paused, "All I ask, is just warn me before you drop me again. Please. At very least, next time you leave me, just give me a chance to say goodbye."

"As Emmett said before, if we were to go anywhere again," Carlisle said, "You'd be coming with us. I promise you. We'll never leave you alone again. You were explained the reasons, and now that we know that won't work, it won't be attempted again."

I looked down in thought. Would I forgive them that easily? Another way to think of it was did I really want to live the rest of my life on the streets? The real question was did I have a choice?

"Can I think about it?" I asked in a whisper, "I'm so afraid to believe you again."

"Of course." He said. I nodded, and sighed.

"So." I mumbled, "What are we doing? Fostering me again, until you get bored? I know the paperwork is already in, so I'm just curious. How long do I have here?"

"We were thinking something more permanent." Esme replied quietly.

I narrowed my eyes in confusion, "What.. Like?"

Carlisle sighed, "Considering you have no options left.." He trailed off a bit, pausing, "I'm sure the state wouldn't mind too much approving a permanent place where you won't be moved. Somewhere familiar to you."

"Okay?" I asked, a yawn escaping me. My tired mind wasn't comprehending what they were telling me.

"Leandra, they're asking if it'd be alright with you if they adopted you." Rose explained, entering the room with a small smile on her face. I briefly wondered if she forgave me for our little argument earlier, then I considered what she'd just said. Adopt me?

That did it. I was surprised, looking to Carlisle.

"W-What, like.. For good?" I asked, looking between Carlisle and Esme, "No more leaving? No more tossing me around like a volley ball?" Carlisle nodded, "I'd stay here?" Carlisle nodded again, seeming amused. I looked down for a moment in thought. Now and then glancing up at Esme and him. The others were quiet as I considered the idea.

A stable home. Well, maybe not so stable, but at least it would be permanent. For good.

"No more giving me away?" I had to make absolutely sure before even bothering to get my hopes up, "I wouldn't ever have to go somewhere else to live?"

"No, Leandra." Carlisle said, "This would be your home. For good."

"No matter what?"

"No matter what."

At just the thought of it being permanent, that there was no chance at all that they'd leave me anywhere, or have to give me away, I looked up at Carlisle once more. My head spun a little at just the thought that if they were serious about this, about adopting me, making it official, that my family would be just that. My family. Not halfway mine, not just a little mine. Fully mine. I'd be theirs. Their responsibility. Their little sister, and their daughter.

If I were to become theirs, they wouldn't give me away. They couldn't. I would be their problem. Their issue, and their headache. I knew, though, that they were sturdy enough to deal with me. They were offering to accept me, even with the problems I had.

It was hard for me to wrap my head around. Carlisle still waited for me to speak, so I nodded gently. Unable to speak. I found that I'd like for them to adopt me. I'd like to belong somewhere. Actually getting what I so desperately wanted for once in my life. A family. Not just any family, though. This family.

"Whoa." I mumbled, unable to say much else.

**A/N: Okay. I'm incredibly sorry for this taking so long to come out. I do feel like I owe you an explanation.  
Long, long story very, very short, I got some news in RL that deeply upset me, and I didn't feel comfortable enough finishing this chapter when I felt so horrible. I was not myself, and I don't think anyone would have appreciated it if I'd killed off Leandra, which I was strongly considering. I'm hesitant to even release this, as I know it's not 100%.  
So, no. I promise this wasn't some stunt I pulled looking for more reviews. That wasn't it at all. I just wanted to take a few days to myself, if only to calm down enough to type this out without drastically changing something.  
This is mostly a filler chapter, but I do believe it came out alright. ****If I even have any readers left, I'd love to hear your thoughts.**  
**Thank you _so_** **much to my reviewers on last chapter, and the entire story. Though I try to make it a point to thank everyone each chapter, I don't believe I ever give you guys enough credit. If it weren't for you guys, I probably wouldn't be posting at all. (:  
Chapter eleven will be out once life decides to stop punching me in the ribs.  
Until then, readers.  
**


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter Eleven**

Outside, I circled the yard that evening. Thinking, really considering everything the last couple of days had brought me. Slowly wandering, letting my fingers softly trail over the bark of the trees when they were close enough.

How quickly had everything changed. How just as suddenly as they'd left, they were suddenly back again. Effectively catching me off guard, yet again, and how simple it would be to just accept that they were here, offering to take me in. For good, this time. As much as I wanted that, I found myself hesitant to trust.

Needless to say, I had a lot on my mind, and wandering the perimeter of the yard seemed the only way to ease it. It all seemed surreal again. Like a dream I wouldn't wake up from. I looked up, watching as the thinner clouds pulled apart long enough to let through a few spots of stars behind them. I loved it when I could see the stars. It didn't happen often, so I considered myself lucky when I could.

It grew darker outside as the sun set fully. Making those few stars more visible.

One of the many things I was stuck on, was Keith and I's last conversation. He loved her. He did. I heard it in his voice, and I saw it in his eyes. Why, then, would he hit her? It made no sense to me. Whatsoever. I just couldn't understand.

Was someone like him what I had to look forward to when I grew up? Was that the way it was supposed to be? Was that how love was supposed to be expressed? By hitting each other? Beating each other?

Did that happen between Esme and Carlisle, and I just didn't see it? Emmett and Rosalie? I never saw anything like that happen between the Cullens, but I could have just been asleep. Or somewhere else.

I was so lost.

Another thing I was stuck on, was suddenly remembering something. Back, way back before they left. The dream I had the night I turned ten. After seeing my mom for the first time in so long. The empty house. Comparing that dream to later on, when I was living here by myself. I remembered the empty house part being so vivid. So real, it bothered me. Knowing what I knew now, that the house _had_ been empty, it was strange to me that I would have a dream like that. I never stopped to make the comparison before.

What was also strange to me, was how much I'd changed since then. I wasn't the same. I was still timid, but in a more complete way. Before, I wasn't sure what I had to be afraid of. Now I did, and now I understood. I was more fearful, more careful when it came to strangers and even those I did know. I doubted I'd ever trust the way I did before. Trusting, and being burned, told me never to trust completely again. It's just how I was now.

Finally, I stopped. Landing myself on the bottom step. Looking up at the starry spots in the sky. I didn't turn, I didn't look back at the front door opening. I listened to someone stepping down the steps until they reached my side.

"When I was little, I used to wonder." I mumbled, "I used to wonder what it would be like to finally meet my mom. I wondered what it would be like to really get to know her. I wondered what she was like. I wondered if she was kind, if she was caring. I wondered if she was a mom like all moms should be, or if she was just as nervous to meet me as I was to meet her. I wondered if she wondered about me, and I wondered what she would do if I was ever hurt, or scared. What would she do if she had the chance to do it? Would she turn away like always? Or would she be there? Would she hold my hand?"

I paused, glancing to Esme as she sat down beside me.

"I would spend.." I sighed, smoothing my pantleg down, "Hours, just sitting there. Wondering these things. Knowing she was right out there, and somehow, her being there sort of comforted me. Even if she never moved, she never knew, or she never tried to stop it. Even though she never tried to stop it, she was always there. Some part of her knew I was suffering. Even if she never tried to stop it, some part of me always knew she wanted to. I always understood." I paused again, my eyes on the stars, "She just wasn't strong enough. What she did back then.. The drinking.. Well, it bothered me, it was true, but I can see now why she did what she did. She was just as scared as I was. She just could not stand seeing me that way, or hearing me cry, and there be nothing in the world she could have done to stop it." I paused, "Except getting herself killed."

I adjusted my position a little, getting more comfortable. Drawing my knees to my chest, holding onto my ankles.

"I wanted her to understand." I admitted quietly, resting my chin on my knees, "But not that way. I just wanted her to know how it felt, what it was like to feel so small, but I didn't want her to find out like that. Seeing what he'd done, Esme.." I shook my head, "It was so bad. Worse than I'd ever seen. Even on myself."

"I think I can imagine, Leandra." She murmured sadly beside me. I looked to her, saddened. Her tone told me she understood. She knew what I was talking about. Did that confirm what I thought earlier? About hitting the one you loved? I stored that question away, knowing I'd have time later to ask it.

I looked back down.

"She's always been there. Whenever I wanted to find her, she's always been there. When you weren't there, when I was little and recently, she was there. Maybe not the way I needed her to be, but.. She's gone." I looked over, meeting her eyes again, "Now what'll I do?"

Esme's eyes softened, and she moved closer, pulling me to her.

"She knew." I murmured, "She knew when she told me to run that she was giving me to you." I looked up, "That she wouldn't be able to take care of me anymore." I winced a little as tears came to my eyes, "She knew, even when I didn't, that she was letting me go."

I stayed quiet for a moment as I sobbed quietly.

"Without her," I cried softly, "Where will I go when you leave again?"

She gently took my cheeks in her hands, and had me look up, meeting her eyes, "We will _never_ leave you again."

"B-But-"

"Never." She told me firmly, but the gentle tone she used softened it, "Honey, our only goal has always been your safety. And it always will be. We understand that you're ours now, and believe me. We wouldn't have it any other way. I know I speak for many others when I say that I am not strong enough to leave you defenseless again." I closed my eyes, leaning into her now, "You will always be safe. For as long as I'm around, you will always be protected. I promise you, Leandra. Please.." Her voice was quiet, pained, "Forgive me. Forgive us."

I sniffled hard, and turned. Wrapping my arms around her neck. Tighter than I had since returning, holding onto her until my trembles slowed.

"Please." I mumbled quietly, "Just.. Be here. Stay, or take me with you. I don't care if you have to leave. To move. Just don't leave me behind again. I just need at least one person that I can count on to always be there. You're promising that, and I can't help but believe you. It's my only option."

I was led inside quite awhile later. After a pretty long talk with Esme. I watched her give me a small smile, and head upstairs. Probably looking for Carlisle.

I sat down in the chair, sighing quietly and immediately looking closer. Looking closer at Emmett and Rosalie sitting together on the couch. I didn't ask, but I watched.

Had I been under the wrong impression until now? Was I only misinformed when I thought that loving someone meant never to hurt them? Did love automatically mean pain? Was pain just an unavoidable part of life?

Seeing my mom that way, in a relationship like that and what it led to, ending the way it did, completely changed how I saw things. Did I have to put up with the pain if I wanted someone someday? Was that what my life was for? Was Jack just preparing me early?

"What is it, shorty?" Emmett asked, noticing me watching.

"Nothing." I mumbled, shaking my head and looking down, "Just spacing out, I guess. I'm a little tired." He looked to the clock.

"Well, it's no wonder." He laughed a little, "It's eleven-thirty. I guess it's gonna take some adjusting again to having a human around. Get your butt to bed." He said that with a light tone, so I knew he wasn't mad. I nodded and stood, forcing a smile and leaving the room.

I wasn't awake long enough to think anymore, as much as I wanted to. Drifting off almost immediately, and I hardly moved over the night, as tired as I was.

One day at a time, I told myself when I woke. Turning, I noticed it was already passed two. I must have been more tired than I thought. Stretching, I yawned. Each time I woke up, I found myself reluctant to believe they were still there. Carlisle hadn't started at the hospital yet, so he was around just as much as the others.

I padded up the hall, pausing and sighing in the doorway. Looking toward Emmett and Esme as they looked back at me.

"How'd you sleep, shorty?" Emmett asked, giving me a hesitant smile.

"Good, I guess." I admitted, "I hurt a little today."

"Want me to get Carlisle?" Esme asked as she stood, already on her feet.

"No." I said, shaking my head, "It's okay. Not much he can do for a little ache." I leaned against the doorway, "Besides. It's not that bad."

"I'm glad you're awake." I looked up at Carlisle's voice, watching him descend the stairs, "I want to talk about this situation with school."

"Aw." I whined disappointedly. He seemed to find that slightly amusing.

"I hear you haven't been going." He prompted, sitting in the free chair.

"It's hard to go, when they kicked me out." I replied, crossing the room to the couch.

"Why'd they kick you out?" Emmett asked, surprised.

"For not going." I laughed a little, finding it a little funny. Nobody else did, however.

"Why haven't you been going?" Esme asked, and I looked down. I shrugged a little.

"I just.." I mumbled, "It didn't seem that important. That, and I hated going. I hate other people."

"Shorty.." Emmett shook his head.

"What?" I asked, "They don't get me. They don't get me, and I don't get them. I hate them."

"Have you tried?" Emmett asked.

"No." I said, "I don't have to. I listen to them talk, complaining about how horrible their parents are, or how hard their life is. If I went to school on a hard day, they wouldn't leave there without at least one black eye." I stood, "So really, I stay away for their own safety." I looked pointedly at Emmett's incredulous expression, "You're welcome."

"Well, tomorrow I'll be having a talk with them about possibly reconsidering your expulsion." Carlisle murmured and I frowned.

"That probably wouldn't be a good idea." I reasoned slowly, "I don't get along with others." He gave me a look, and I sighed, shrugging, "It's their face."

"What about that kid?" Emmett asked, "Andrew? You got along with him, didn't you?"

"Yeah." I said, looking down, "I haven't seen him in so long. Not since before I ran here back in November. I went to his house once. Just for some company." Emmett smiled a little, "I bet he's wondering what happened." I paused, "That wasn't my doing, though." I said defensively as I turned, pacing, "That was all him. I just got used to him because he tried so hard."

"Someone as stubborn as you?" Emmett asked, "Unheard of!"

"Bite me." I grumbled, "I'm not _stubborn_."

"That has got to be the biggest lie I've ever heard." I spun, instantly grinning at Alice's voice. I jogged toward the stairs, hugging her tightly. She sighed, returning the hug, "Leandra, do you know how worried you've kept me?" I pulled back, looking up at her, "Port Angeles? Really?"

"Oh." I mumbled, looking down, "That."

"Yeah, that." She narrowed her eyes, "_What_ made you think that was okay?"

"Rose already beat you to the scolding." I pointed out quietly.

"You're going to hear it again, because unlike her, I saw you. I know what happened, and I saw the way you were living."

"Do you know what my alternative was?" I asked incredulously, "I wasn't letting myself get sent to some nuthouse in Tacoma." I turned, turning my eyes down.

"That would have been safer for you, Leandra. Far safer. Honestly. I'm being serious here." She captured my arm and turned me back to her, "A life like that is not meant for someone like you. Leandra, the dangers you faced-"

"I got away every time." I reminded her, "It's okay."

"Was it that bad?" Emmett asked, standing, "Shorty, is there something you're not telling us?"

"No." I said.

"Yes." Alice countered, "Tell them." I was quiet, staring at the carpet.

"I don't know what you're talking about." I shrugged.

"How many times you were approached? Your first close call? Leandra, when you decided to trust him.. The one in the silver car? Ringing any bells? You don't want to know how that ended."

"Trust who?" Emmett demanded, "Out with it, shorty. Did something happen?"

"Nothing happened." I said.

"You don't know how close it came." Alice countered again.

"Shush." I rounded on her, "That subject's over. It's done, it's over, and I know not to go back to that."

She sighed, but pulled me to her, "Do you know how hard it was for me to keep myself from coming back here?"

"I wish you would have." I mumbled, returning her hug.

"I was going to." She said, "But Carlisle beat me to it. Once I told him, I guess he couldn't stop himself. I was honestly surprised when your future changed."

"I don't like thinking about that." I murmured, pulling back and glancing to Jasper beside her, before looking back at Carlisle, "But I still don't know what made you decide to come back."

"I called him. Having had enough of the close calls." Alice explained, "He came back to find you. Well, he didn't like what he found, and decided to lead you to Bella. Somehow knowing it'd work. Knowing you'd follow. It was genius."

I looked down, listening to her continue.

"Once Charlie had you, Carlisle tried to stay away. To leave again, thinking you were safe, and telling himself that he'd already interfered enough. Even though, in my opinion, he should have stayed with you." She paused, and I sensed her eyes on me, "He did manage to force himself to leave. Until Thursday night." Alice explained quietly, "I was on my way here, having seen.. Something regarding Bella, when I saw you again. I saw you, and I saw what that.. Animal was doing, and I called Carlisle again." She sighed, "Well, he turned right around. We got to your house about the same time, and he couldn't resist going inside this time." I looked down, "Leandra, your mom.. What she did.."

"I know." I grumbled, turning, "Please don't.." I paced back toward the couch, "I'd rather just forget.. All of it." She sighed after a few seconds, stepping after me. Pulling me back to her and hugging me tight.

"I guess what I'm saying, is that I'm happy to see you." She said, and I smiled a little.

The rest of the day passed pretty uneventfully, aside from one little problem. My dad called, having gotten the message Carlisle left for him the night before. Leaving out specifics, just telling him that it was important to speak with him as soon as possible. That conversation was harder than I thought it'd be. I wasn't strong enough to tell him myself, so Carlisle helped me.

The arrangements had already been made, handled by Carlisle himself, and the funeral was scheduled for Wednesday. I knew I would have to be there, but was surprised to find out that my dad was coming as well. He'd get here Tuesday, he told me, so I didn't have to be alone. He knew I was taken care of here, but I knew what he meant. It'd just be him coming this time, as Rachel was too pregnant to travel that far. That news surprised me. Another baby?

He didn't ask any questions, but I knew he'd ask them when he got here. Yet another person demanding to know what happened. As much as I wasn't looking forward to that, I was looking forward to seeing him again.

I stood up Tuesday evening, watching as he stepped inside. Immediately looking for me. He spotted me, and his eyes softened.

"Come here, honey." He gestured me forward, and I didn't hesitate. I crossed the room, straight into his arms. He squeezed me a little too tight, and I whimpered, arching away. He frowned down at me as I looked up apologetically at him. He took my hand, leading me back over to the couch, as Carlisle gestured we move inside.

"Leandra, please." My dad sighed after a moment of sitting beside me, "What.. How did this happen? And what happened just now? Did I hurt you?"

"No, dad." I mumbled, shaking my head, "It wasn't you. I'm still a little sore, that's all."

"Sore?" He asked, and I sighed, turning my back to him. I reached back and lifted the back of my shirt. His intake of breath told me he saw now what I was talking about, "What the hell happened?" His tone had me close my eyes around tears.

"Keith." I answered, choking a little on the word.

"Who is Keith?" He was so far out of the loop. Understandable, considering I hadn't spoken to him since before the Cullens left.

"Who.. Was Keith.." I corrected quietly, turning to look at him, "He was mom's boyfriend."

"Oh, dear God." My dad grumbled, pinching the bridge of his nose, "He did that to you?"

"Yes." I said, "Because I almost convinced mom to leave him."

"Okay, okay." He said, "Just tell me what happened to your mom."

"Keith." I answered again. He seemed surprised, his eyes widening at what I was telling him. He pulled me to him after a small nod from me, holding me close, but being careful of my back.

I stayed seated on his lap, staring down at my hands as Carlisle and Esme helped explain the situation, thankfully letting me stay silent.

I tuned them out as I sat there. I'd already heard this so many times before. I didn't want to hear it again. I'd been there. Technically, I was the first one to find them. To find her. The first one to have to tell this story. The first one that had to say the words. Saying the words hadn't made it final. Even seeing her that way hadn't made it final. Tomorrow would. It would make it final.

"God, dad, I don't wanna go." I shook my head, not even realizing I'd interrupted what he was saying, "I don't even know why I should have to."

"Leandra, honey." He sighed, "I know, but-"

"I don't want to go."

"I'll be right there with you, okay?" He said, "I know this is hard on you, and I know how painful this is, but I'll be right there. I'll carry you the whole time, if it'll help." I was quiet now, looking back down, "You know I'll be going with or without you." He paused, "But it'd really mean a lot to me if you went with me." He waited, "Please?"

Needless to say, I wound up agreeing. I couldn't just not go, no matter how much I wanted to just stay. I couldn't. I'd never forgive myself. Esme and Carlisle wouldn't be coming along. I understood their reasons. I'd be going with just my dad, and that was okay with me. It was sort of a personal time for me. For the both of us.

Later that evening, they were still discussing the next day, when a knock came to the door. I frowned, confused. Nobody ever came by this late. I watched as Esme stood. I was curious as she headed to the door, peering passed my dad, waiting.

"I'm sorry for coming by so late." I recognized that voice, "But he was insistent. I really hope this wasn't a bad time." It was Richard. Andrew's dad. I climbed off of my dad's lap, heading quickly to the door.

Esme laughed quietly, "It's not a problem."

"Leandra." Andrew's eyes lit up as he saw me nearing.

"Please. Come inside." Esme murmured, and Andrew wasted no time. Smacking into me, and wrapping his arms around me. Despite the pain, I couldn't help laughing a little.

"Okay!" I half groaned, half laughed, "I missed you too, weirdo."

"Where have you _been_?" He demanded, refusing to let me go, "Well, I mean, I know _now_ where you've been, but you could have at least called!"

"Yeah right." I laughed a little, stepping back when he let me, "I would have wound up telling you where I was, and you would have told your dad, and your dad would have told Charlie, and Charlie would have come to get me."

"Yeah!" He said incredulously, "Are you crazy? I would have let you live in my room. You didn't have to run away."

Richard was still apologizing to Esme as we made our way further inside, nearing the couch just as my dad and Carlisle stood.

"Oh?" My dad asked, "Who's this?"

"Dad, this is Andrew. A friend from school." I said, "Andrew, this is my dad."

"You look just like him." Andrew pointed out, laughing a little, "It's nice to meet you."

"So I've heard." I mumbled, rubbing my eye tiredly.

"Well, I mean.. In a pretty way." He said, thinking he offended me. I laughed a little, shaking my head a little.

"Thanks." I said, "I think."

My dad laughed as well, "Well, I think I should get going, kiddo. It's getting pretty late, and I'll be over pretty early in the morning." My smile faded, and I looked down. I really didn't need the reminder. Dreading it with all that I was. Seeing my expression once I looked up at him, his eyes softened.

"Oh, come here, you." He lifted me, hugging me firmly but gently, "I know. I know, but it'll be okay. You'll see."

He set me back on my feet, and I sniffled, looking down. I looked over, surprised as Andrew gently took my hand. Offering me a small smile.

He left a short while later, and Richard took his place on the couch. Esme and Carlisle sat talking with him, as Andrew and I stood talking.

"I heard." Andrew told me quietly, "My dad didn't tell me until today, but as soon as I found out, I begged him to bring me here. Leandra, I'm _so_ sorry."

"Thanks." I murmured, keeping my eyes down. Unexpectedly, he hugged me again.

"I really missed you." He mumbled. I slowly returned the hug, closing my eyes as more tears threatened to fall. It felt nice to have someone my size to hug, and it felt nice to have someone comforting me without scolding me too much for what I'd done. Just being there. Not telling me how much danger I was in, or how ignorant my decisions were. It was worth the pain I felt along my back, just being comforted by my friend.

From the moment I woke up the next morning, everything felt so surreal. Like I was dreaming, but I knew I wasn't. Like I was just imagining sitting there, letting Esme do my hair. Like I was just imagining my dad showing up, hugging me to him, and telling me everything was going to be okay. I was sort of dazed. Numb, I guess.

Like I was just imagining my dad taking my hand, and leading me from the house.

The entire day, I stayed numb. Only partly feeling the cold rain when it'd manage to touch my skin off the sides of the umbrella my dad held. I stayed numb, but I could feel it. The sadness underneath that I held back with all that I was. The finality of it all getting to me.

Then something happened. Somewhere between meeting a co-worker of mom's, and my dad asking me if I was hungry. I fought back the knot of emotion in my stomach, and I won. I took a deep breath, seemingly for the first time all day, and though I shook my head, I actually was. I just wasn't ready to eat yet.

Being sad wasn't something she would have wanted. Being sad, suffering wasn't what she fought for me to be. She wouldn't want me to cry. She'd want me to keep going. It was sad. It was, and it hurt to lose her the way I did, but I also knew. She fought so hard to let me keep my life, and walking around numb, or dazed the way I was, wasn't what she'd want.

I stepped away from my dad, heading from his side, over to a table set up with tons of flowers, and pictures of her. I looked at each one, my hand reaching up and taking a pink rose.

"I'm sorry, mom." I found myself murmuring to one of her pictures, "I'm sorry, but I just can't understand why you would think I would just keep running. I miss you, and I wish I could tell you how much I really did love you." I paused, looking down at the rose in my hands, "I'm sorry, and I love you. I wouldn't be alive if it weren't for you. You gave so much, and right now, I just can't understand why."

"She can hear you." I jumped, looking up at a stranger beside me. He wore a suit, but somehow, it wasn't as neat as everyone else's. His light brown hair was combed back, but somehow wasn't as neat as everyone else's. He seemed like a really relaxed person, someone who just didn't care what others thought of him. He was younger, maybe late twenties. His eyes finally looked from her pictures, to me.

"What?" I asked quietly.

"She can hear you. Everything you're saying, she can hear." He replied, "You won't get a response, not one that you can hear, but she's here. Watching over you."

"How do you know?" I asked, curious.

"Because I know her." He replied, "From the moment you were born, you were always a part of her. The choices she made shouldn't be taken as a sign that she didn't love you, but as a sign that she really wasn't strong enough to watch you suffer, without a way to make it better. Think of her as someone who was trying to deal with something so much bigger than herself."

"I know." I murmured, looking back at the table, "I know."

"Then that's all that matters." He said, "Everybody makes mistakes. When someone goes to these lengths to make up for them, it's up to us to learn from them, and keep living. Take the example they set, and do our best to make them proud." He was quiet for a moment, before sighing and reaching over, turning my chin up to look at him, "You say you can't understand why she did what she did. Well, I can answer that right now."

"Why?" I asked in a whisper.

"Because of this." He smiled at me, gently poking my nose, "You have so much promise in you. Such a long life ahead of you, and so much potential to do great things with your life. To not do what she did was unacceptable to her. To not give you the chance to grow up, have kids of your own, was unthinkable. Something she would trade her life to give you, Leandra." He smiled again, "She can hear every word you tell her. You just have to think of her, and she's right here with you. Don't stop living because someone as wonderful as she has died. We just have to keep going. Live for her."

I smiled a little. I liked this stranger. He reminded me of myself, for the oddest reason. He returned my smile, patted my cheek, and turned. Walking away. I watched him as he slowly stepped outside, moving to the very edge of the overhang shielding him from the rain, and lit a cigarette.

"Have a nice talk?" I glanced back at my dad.

"Yeah." I murmured, "Who was that?"

"That was Brian." He replied, "Your mom's brother. I'm actually surprised he could make it. Last I heard about him, he was in Illinois."

"I didn't know she had a brother. He's nice." I commented, "I like him."

"He's a good guy." He agreed, "Just never really got the chance to be in your life much."

My dad patted my shoulder, standing there with me. Brian's words stayed in my mind the rest of the day. As sad as it was, I wouldn't cry. He was right. He'd found a way to word the way I was feeling. Seemingly easily.

The rain got worse over the day, and by the time everything was over, and he drove me back home, he had a hard time seeing out of the windshield. It was coming down in buckets, and I laughed at his surprise. He wasn't used to the rain anymore, it was clear. A new subject had arisen as he pulled up in front of the house.

"All I'm saying," I murmured as we entered the house, "Is if you move closer, then it wouldn't take mom dying before I see you."

My dad sighed heavily, "You have got to stop doing that."

"Doing what?" I asked, removing my jacket, shaking off the rain.

"Making it sound like it's no big deal." He replied, giving me a look as he removed his as well, "Frankly, it scares the hell out of me." Looking to the table beside the door, a small note sat under the paperweight there. Picking it up, I read it quickly. It only said that they'd gone out, and would be back by nightfall. I understood what that meant. They were using this time to hunt. To satisfy themselves as much as possible.

I sighed, nodding to the note a little before responding, "But I also know that she died for a reason. I'm not going to make it for nothing by refusing to move on."

"How old are you again?" He asked after a moment.

"Stop it, dad." I sighed, rolling my eyes, "If you want me to stop living because she died, then you obviously don't know me very well."

"I feel like I don't anymore."

"Then change that." I groaned, turning and heading toward the living room, "If you lived closer, you would know me."

"Leandra, I've told you." He followed, "With a baby on the way, there is no way I can afford to do that. I'm going to need every cent we have."

"Irresponsible." I frowned, shaking my head at him.

"What?" He asked as if he couldn't believe what I'd said.

"You should have been more careful. You know.." I trailed off. He blinked in surprise before falling onto the couch, laughing.

"Oh, dear." He groaned, "No, I'm not having this conversation with my ten year old daughter."

"Blame the school." I said, sitting beside him. He laid his head back, rubbing his tired eyes.

"Look." He said, "Maybe.. When the baby is older, I'll bring it up again. For now, I'm sorry kiddo, but it's just not possible." I sighed, but leaned back, slouching the way he did. Letting it go for now.

I looked over at him, "How long are you staying?"

"I'm leaving Friday morning." He replied, "I can't leave Rachel alone too long. Not with Lily being her usual self." I nodded, understanding.

We sat there in silence for a moment. Both lost in our own thoughts. Eventually, he sighed and hugged me into his side.

"I'm so sorry, kiddo." He murmured, shaking his head, "Losing her is.. Well, I'm having a hard time believing it."

"Tell me about it." I mumbled in response, "It's so weird. She's always been there. It's so hard to believe that she's just.. Gone."

"I know." He said, "I know, honey." The silence continued as we both sat there.

"Dad?" I finally spoke, and he looked down at me, "Did you still love her?"

He looked back up, "Of course." He replied, "I did. I always will, in my own way." Somehow, hearing that comforted me, "Oh, how I wished it would have worked out. Don't get me wrong, I love Rachel with all my heart."

"I know, dad." I murmured, "Don't worry. I get it."

"There was just something about your mom that.." He sighed, "I don't know.. Set her apart from the rest. I know it's hard for you to believe, but she was.. Amazing. Kind, loving. So beautiful."

"I believe it." I mumbled, looking down at my hands, "She was brave, too."

"Only when it came to you." He corrected quietly, "She just couldn't find the want to be strong for herself." I looked down, "To know what you were facing before she showed up, I.. Couldn't imagine losing you." He hugged me more firmly into his side, "To think that I could have been attending your.." He trailed off, unable to say it, "Honey, tell me. Why did you go back? Knowing nobody would be there but him?"

"Somebody had to." I mumbled, "Somebody had to stand up for her, dad. I couldn't sit back, and let him get away with hurting her. And me."

He didn't reply, sighing and rubbing my arm comfortingly.

"It's not fair." I mumbled, "I just can't understand. Why her?"

"It's more complicated than one answer can give, Leandra." He sighed, "But you're going to grow up, knowing you're worth more than what anyone like Jack or Keith can offer. You deserve so much more. She deserved so much more."

"How could she ever think that Jack was better than you, dad?" I asked quietly, resting my head against his chest.

"Thanks, Leandra." He murmured, laughing a little, "But.. It was her choice. Unfortunately, it was the wrong one, and a huge mistake. Jack.." He continued in a quiet voice, "He ruins everything he touches." To my surprise, tears suddenly came to my eyes. Just the thought of him, and what he did stabbing pain into the still fresh wound in my heart. He held me for a quiet minute before speaking again, "I was supposed to be there with her that night. The night she met him. She never liked going there alone, especially with you toddling off at every opportunity, and I should have been there." He closed his eyes, shaking his head, "But for some unfathomable reason, work was more important." I sniffled, returning his hug tighter. He sighed, "You were the reason they met."

I looked up, surprised.

"According to what she told me, later on, it was you." He paused, "You'd wandered off. She had her back turned for just a second, and by the time she turned around, there he was. Returning you to her." He was quiet, "You were just a baby. You didn't know any better. I _should_.. Have been there." His tone was suddenly so pained. I hated hearing it that way, "If you've taught me anything, it's to truly appreciate my family, and let them know I appreciate them."

"I'm a learning opportunity." I murmured, remembering Emmett's words only a few days ago.

"No, that's not what I meant-"

"I know." I said, "I'm just.." I sighed and stood, "I'll be right back." I turned, heading from the room. I headed up the hall, into my room. Closing the door quietly behind myself. I had to take a moment. Knowing I'd ruined my mom's life so thoroughly was what hurt me now.

It was my fault she met Jack. It was my fault she and my dad split up, and it was my fault she wound up suffering so much. I was so young, I didn't know any better, but somehow, that didn't ease me.

I changed out of the dress I wore into my pajamas, trying to get at least a little more comfortable. The feeling that thought, of it being my fault, gave me made me so uncomfortable with myself, I wasn't surprised when changing clothes didn't help.

I stepped back out, falling heavily beside him again.

"So where is everyone?" He asked, finally noticing.

"They're out." I mumbled, blinking tiredly at the coffee table in front of me, "They'll be back tonight."

"You hungry?" He asked, and I shook my head.

"Not really." I sighed. I was quiet for a minute longer before looking over at him, "Dad? What did you mean.. Before. When you said I'd grow up to know that I deserve more than what they had to offer?"

"You won't walk in her footsteps." He said, "Leandra, your mom's vision of her own self worth really told her that she couldn't find any better. I failed her there."

"But.. What does that mean?" I asked, sitting forward, "Isn't.. Dad, Keith did care about her. He really did. I saw it in his eyes, and the way he talked about her. I don't understand." He studied me for a moment, before realizing what I was getting at, "Am I missing something? Why would anyone ever want to get married, if it means fighting all the time?"

"Leandra, it's true. Fights do happen, but-"

"Then I don't want it." I said firmly, standing, "Not if it means getting beaten all the time. I won't be on the receiving end of that again. I'm not wasting my life on someone who only cares enough to beat me. I want more than that, and if I have to avoid having a boyfriend or getting married to get more, then I will."

"Leandra, listen to me." He gently took my hands in his.

Before he could continue, the door opened. My family having returned. My dad sighed, releasing my hands as I turned, heading over to greet them.

We didn't get a chance to talk more about it before he left Friday morning. Either he forgot about it, or he thought someone else would try to talk me out of it, but he didn't bring it up again. I was determined by then, though. Witnessing all the horrible things being in a relationship brought, I wanted no part of it. Ever.

I started school again the next week. Hating every second of it. I just knew that I'd be in school when they decided to leave again, and not have the chance to beg them to stay. Despite many, many reassurances, I still had that fear. Abandonment was something I didn't deal with well, apparently.

Andrew was his usual self on Monday, sticking by my side every chance he got, and instead of dreading his presence beside me, I looked forward to it. It was hard to be depressed when he was with me. His attitude toward everything was so light, and sometimes funny.

I had a lot of work to make up for to keep from being held back a grade, but I had a lot of time on my hands, especially with the summer break coming up in a few months. If I worked hard, I'd get it done, and still be able to move on to sixth grade in the fall.

After my first week back, though, it was clear I'd missed a lot. It became painfully obvious that I wouldn't be able to finish the year's worth of work without first going over all I'd missed. Setting me back several months.

Sitting there, the Saturday after my first week back, trying hard to understand the most recent homework. More specifically, math. I already hated math, and never really got it, but this was a lot harder than I thought it'd be.

"Leandra." Carlisle's concerned voice wasn't enough to make me look up.

"Hmm?" I hummed, reaching over and picking up another piece of paper.

"I had an interesting talk with your father today." He murmured.

"What'd I do now?" I mumbled, trying to make the numbers on the page make sense.

"Come on, shorty." Emmett's voice as well, "Take a break."

"I can't." I shook my head, "I have a weeks worth of make-up work to turn in on Monday."

"This is important." Emmett tried again.

"So is this." I countered, "Who the hell gives work like this to a fifth grader? Like seriously. I'm ten. Not a damn genius."

I jumped as Emmett's hand covered the page I was looking at.

"Five minutes." He said, and the worry in his eyes had me sigh, but stand.

"Alright." I mumbled, turning and sitting on my bed, "What's up?" Carlisle sighed, stepping further into the room.

"Your father told me that you seem to be under a.. Completely false impression."

"About?" I asked, frowning. I wasn't sure what he was talking about.

"Relationships?" He prompted, and I looked down.

"Oh." I said, bringing my legs up, sitting cross-legged now.

"He didn't get a chance to explain to you that what you saw was not the way it's supposed to be." He continued.

"Yeah, well.." I mumbled, laying back, "I don't know what else to believe, and I'd rather just.. Avoid that at all costs."

"Shorty, do you really believe that's normal?" Emmett asked quietly.

"Yes." I answered without hesitation.

"Well, it's not." He said, "I can't tell you why your mom always went for guys like that, but I can tell you that you will not find yourself in her place."

"I'm ten. I really hope not." I mumbled sarcastically.

"I'm serious, shorty."

"So am I." I said, sitting up, "It's too big of a risk for me to take. You didn't see her, Emmett. I could barely recognize her. Seeing her that way scared me, but it scared me more that Keith did care about her. I could see it. I don't want that."

"Leandra, I have to admit. Going by your mother's example isn't the best way to learn." Carlisle said, concerned.

I looked down, shaking my head.

"You weren't there." I mumbled, "You didn't hear. You didn't listen to the fights. The sounds of him hitting her. It was the hardest thing I ever had to listen to, knowing I was too small to do anything. I understand now why she got drunk every night. When I'd try to help, it'd only get worse. He'd shout louder, or hit harder. The more she defended me, the worse it got for her. The more I defended her, the worse it got for her. There were no right moves. I was _this_ close to getting her to leave him. If he'd just.. Stayed out of the room for a few seconds longer, I would have gotten her to listen."

I shook my head, "Carlisle, you weren't there. You didn't see what I saw. He cared about her. He loved her, but.. He beat her so bad.." I sniffled a little, not even realizing I'd started to cry, "I don't want that. You say it's not supposed to be that way, but from what I've seen, it's too easy to be fooled."

Despite their efforts, my views didn't change. I doubted they ever would. Not after what I'd seen. It took a week, and I'd begun to find a pattern again.

No matter how hard I tried, though, I never quite felt normal at school or away from my family. The other kids were obviously different. I didn't feel the same as them. I never had, now that I thought about it. Always out of step, never measuring up. They didn't like me, and I hated them. Except for Andrew. It was like he was the same as I was. Two oddballs.

And that comforted me. Knowing he was there.

As for my family, I was already on my way toward forgiving them. I knew it would happen eventually. It was inevitable. It was only a matter of time before I trusted them again. I couldn't refuse to even if I wanted to. All I wanted was someone to be there when I needed them. To restore some hope to my life. All I wanted was just somewhere I could go that no matter how strange or weird I was, they'd accept me. To me, that was home, and the only home I knew, was with my family.

It didn't matter where they were, where I was, as long as I was with them, I'd feel like I was home.

**END**

**A/N: Oh man this chapter was hard to write. I'm sorry for taking so long. I really am.  
THANK YOU to my reviewers! I heart you all. _Heart. Heart. Heart. Heartheartheart._  
In other news, I will be releasing the first chapter of NeverEnding Midnight - Revamped as soon as I can. This one, as with the last one, will take place during Eclipse, but this is the one that is going to change _drastically_. I won't say _brand_ new, but close enough to it. Nearly guaranteed, you won't recognize it. I currently don't have a time frame as to when that'll be coming out, but rest assured, it's coming. Just keep an eye out for it.  
Until then, beautiful, heartable readers, I will be *headdesk*ing. Just kidding. Sort of. (:  
**


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